Give the child instructions like this, and he may listen to you.

In kindergartens, the following scenes often appear:

The corner game is over and a child is still playing with toys in the corner. The teacher said to him, "put away your toys!" " "

Seeing a child eating slowly, he was left alone at the dinner table. The teacher said to him, "Eat up quickly!" "

At the beginning of lunch break, one child was still playing with other children in bed. The teacher said to him, "Don't sleep yet!" "

……

When the child's behavior does not meet the teacher's psychological expectations, the teacher is always used to guiding the child in a commanding tone. But children don't always obey the teacher's orders. Sometimes the teacher is thirsty and exhausted, and the children are still immersed in their own world.

"These children are too difficult to manage. They must have been used by their parents! " Some teachers may think so. But sometimes, children don't "listen". It's probably because you said something was wrong.

0 1?

No reasoning instruction

In kindergarten, teachers often use language to suggest and ask children to do or not do something. These acts can be collectively called "imperative speech acts". Generally speaking, imperative speech act consists of two parts, one is the instruction itself, and the other is the reason for issuing the instruction.

For example, a kindergarten teacher saw a child enter the activity room from outside the house and said to him, "Close the door, and the air conditioner is on in the room." "Close the door" is the instruction itself, and "the air conditioner is turned on in the room" is the reason for issuing the instruction. For convenience, we call the former instruction and the latter inference. The difference between the two is that "instruction" emphasizes the exchange of materials and services, while "reasoning" is more about providing information.

When we want to give instructions to others, we can just say instructions, we can just say reasoning, and we can also say both. So we get three forms of instructions:

1. Close the door!

The room is air-conditioned.

Close the door and turn on the air conditioner in the room.

In kindergarten, teachers often need to give instructions to children. These three forms of instructions may be used by kindergarten teachers, but the frequency of use is very different. Some researchers have counted the forms of instructions given by different teachers in a kindergarten, and found that 70% are in the form of separate instructions, and only 30% contain the reasons for giving instructions.

02?

Effective reasoning makes children more convinced.

Many teachers will wonder. Why don't children listen to me when I give them instructions?

In fact, this has a lot to do with what the teacher said.

An interesting phenomenon is that novice teachers often only include the instruction itself when making instructions, while experienced teachers will explain more reasons for giving instructions to children besides the instruction itself.

There is a kindergarten rule that you must wear a hat outdoors. When a novice teacher sees that children are not wearing hats, he will tell them directly: "Put on your hats quickly." And experienced teachers will tell children: "You should wear a hat. If you don't do this, the sun will tan you. "

A child may obey an instruction once or twice through simple repetition, but this effect will not last long.

The researcher cited a case in which a teacher was telling a story to the children in the middle class, but many children were playing with their own stories and even left their seats. The teacher had to remind them to "sit still" and "don't talk". A child named Xiaoyu has been away from the activities organized by the teacher, playing with toys and watching the loach in the corner for a while. The teacher found out and shouted to him, "Fish, what are you doing?" Fish took a look at the teacher and found that the teacher turned to say hello to other children, so he went on his own way. After a while, the teacher found him running out of the activity room and shouted, "Fish, aren't you coming back?" Seeing that the teacher was angry, Xiaoyu had to go back to the activity room and sit down. After the activity, the researcher asked Xiaoyu, "Do you like the teacher telling stories?" The little fish simply replied, "I don't like it."

In this example, the teacher kept repeating the explanation, but it didn't produce any practical effect. Although it seems that Xiaoyu listened to the teacher's instructions, it was not the teacher's words but the teacher's authority that forced him to sit in the seat. Authority can only bring superficial obedience, and with authoritative instructions, children will only feel bored when they listen to it too much, which will lead to the idea of challenging teachers and rules.

Some teachers know how to reason when giving instructions, but choose to reason with negative power. For example, "come back and sit down, or you won't be allowed to play with toys in the afternoon!" " "This kind of reasoning is a threat to force children to obey their wishes through punishment or serious consequences that will happen.

The other is like "come back and sit down, sit down and the teacher will give you candy." This kind of reasoning is essentially a bribe, which is to induce children to obey with interests.

Threats and bribes are not based on children's internal needs, and children's satisfaction does not come from achieving the goal itself, but from rewards and punishments outside the results. Once the weight of rewards and punishments is insufficient, children will lose the motivation to do things.

So what kind of reasons can most impress children?

Researchers believe that at least two methods are suitable for kindergarten teachers and children to use together.

The first type is logical, that is, using natural laws and logical reasoning to let children understand the possible consequences of what they want to do. For example, "close the door, leave the air conditioner open and run away, and the room will be hot." Through the observation of nature and the experience of life, most children can establish a connection between "closing the door" and "air conditioning running out", so when kindergarten teachers use the latter as a reason to ask children to "close the door", children can understand and accept it.

The second type is cooperative. Teachers use cooperative rules to reason, which is to arouse children's empathy and realize the necessity of doing something. For example, "close the door, you just got back from outside." If you don't close the door, the room will be as hot as outside. " No one likes an environment that is too hot. This is human nature. Finding the child's experience is easier to convince the child.

03?

The Significance of Inference to Children

In addition to better achieving the purpose of speaking, "reasoning" for children will bring other benefits.

1. Improve children's language ability

Everyone began to use languages with simple commands. Everyone's first words are instructions such as "drinking water" and "eating", but the acquisition of rational language is much later. From the order of children's language acquisition, "speaking rational language" is more advanced than imperative language.

Kindergarten is a sensitive period for children's language, and they have to accept different types of speech stimuli. Simple "imperative language" cannot meet children's needs in this respect, while "rational language" contains rich vocabulary and complex grammatical rules, which is of great benefit to the cultivation of children's language ability.

In order to improve children's language ability, some kindergartens offer special courses to make up lessons for children. But if we can treat every conversation with our children as an opportunity for education, wouldn't it be better to provide children with opportunities to contact and understand complex languages in real life than to make up lessons for them?

2. Exercise children's logical thinking

Language is not only a tool for communication, but also the most important thinking tool for people.

Reasoning usually relates different things and events. Understanding this "rational language" that requires more abstract logic is a good thinking training for children.

For example, a kindergarten teacher saw a child running around in the activity room and said to him, "Jason, I have to stop you." There is a reason why we stipulate that the activity room cannot run, because the activity room is not big enough. If you run like this, it is easy to bump into other children and hurt others. If everyone runs like this, no one will play in the end, understand? "In the child's past experience, he may not have run around, causing injuries to others, but after the teacher told him this truth, he was able to use logical thinking to analyze the relationship between the two, thus establishing a connection between what has happened and what has not happened.

3. Shaping children's healthy personality

To some extent, what language we speak determines what kind of people we are. Children are still in the stage of learning language, and the language environment in which they grow up largely determines their personality.

I have seen a case before: after dinner, a child named Jia Jia directed his father, mother and grandmother to sit in a row. At this time, his father was a little impatient. Just as he was about to stand up, Jia Jiawei said sternly, "Children, please sit down. Whoever moves around disobedient, I will let him stand outside the activity room."

Although parents regard this story as a joke, for us, it is a phenomenon worthy of vigilance. It is not difficult to see that Jia Jiamo imitated the way the kindergarten teacher spoke to her. This bossy, bossy tone is unacceptable even for family members.

A large part of children's social development comes from imitating teachers' words and deeds. Children can't "convince others by reasoning" when communicating with others, but learn from adults and coerce others to obey their own orders, which has planted the seeds of "irrationality" for children. As time goes on, this tree may bear "unruly", "willful" and "grumpy" fruits.

label

The creation of kindergarten learning environment not only provides clean activity room, exquisite books and interesting teaching AIDS for children, but more importantly, it may give children a relaxed and lively atmosphere. The communication state between teachers and children is a very important factor to determine whether this atmosphere can be formed.

If teachers want to establish positive contact with children through language, they need to chat and talk with children like friends, so that when teachers want children to do something, they will naturally tell them the reasons for giving instructions. If teachers regard the relationship with children as the relationship between caregivers and wards, controllers and controlled people, there will never be an equal dialogue between them. Such verbal communication creates a depressing environment, and children are like being locked in a box, unable to grow up freely and happily.

Only by treating children as independent people can we really communicate with them. Give children more reasons, and maybe we can rediscover the infinite possibilities hidden behind each child's seemingly immature mind.