Want to hear jokes about cannibals? The more the merrier!

1. Two cannibals applied for a job at IBM. The company's HR director knew that these two cannibals cannibalized people every day, so he warned them: "If you dare If you eat someone in the company, you will be fired immediately!" The two cannibals agreed solemnly, saying that they would never eat anyone in the company. Two months have passed and the company is safe and sound.

Suddenly one day,

The company discovered that the cleaner responsible for cleaning the company was missing. So the HR manager was very angry and called in two cannibals to scold them and fired them on the spot. After leaving the company gate, one cannibal immediately complained to the other: "I have been warning you not to eat people who are doing things, but you just don't listen! We have eaten a manager every day for two months. No one noticed. Look, the cleaners found out right away! "

2. From the United States, Japan and China! Three explorers were captured by cannibals during their expedition in Africa. The cannibal chief was more merciful and decided not to eat them, but he had to fine each of them 100 pieces of gold and allow them to each make a wish. .

The first was the American:

"Please put 6 cushions on my butt."

The chief agreed to the American's request. However, the seat cushion was relatively thin, and by the time we hit the 70th board, the seat cushion was already in tatters.

The Americans muttered in a daze: "No matter what, our nation is the most creative." So powerful..." and then passed out.

It was the Japanese's turn. He witnessed the miserable situation of the Americans, so he asked: "Please put 6 mattresses on my butt."

The chief agreed to the Japanese requirements. After the Japanese were beaten 100 times, they stood up with a smile and said: "Our nation

is the nation with the strongest ability to imitate!"

It is the turn of the Chinese, China The man asked with a smile:

"Please put that Japanese devil on my butt!"

3. African virgin forest, traveler and local tour guide... .

Traveler: Is it safe here? Could there be cannibals?

Tour guide: Don’t worry, it’s safe here. There are no cannibals in Africa.

Traveler: But what if there are a few cannibals left?

Tour guide: This is impossible, the last cannibal was eaten by us last Monday.

4. The world through the eyes of cannibals

Apartment: Food Shelf

Hospital: Bad Food Exchange

Train: Sausage

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Pregnant woman: meat buns

5. Fruit

Three men were captured by the cannibals, and they begged the cannibals to let them go. The cannibal leader said: "If you can find some fruits, I will consider letting you go." So the three people went to look for fruits separately.

The first man came back with some grapes in his hand. It turned out that the cannibal leader just wanted to tease them. He ordered the tribesmen to stuff grapes into the man's anus. The man suffered terribly. The second man brought back oranges. Of course, he could not escape his bad luck. When the two men, who were sweating profusely and groaning in pain, saw the third man rushing back, they couldn't help laughing. It turned out that the third man was holding two huge coconuts in his arms.

6. Male Soup and Female Soup

The cannibals traveled abroad and came to a restaurant. When they opened the menu, they were very surprised. It turns out that there are two dishes named men's soup and women's soup in the menu. The cannibals thought to themselves: Are there also cannibals here? So the cannibal asked the waiter in the restaurant what the male soup and female soup were.

The waiter said: "The soup for men is 'ball soup' and the soup for women is 'scallop soup.'"

7. The power of the Bible

An atheist came to an undeveloped island in search of evidence of evolution. To his surprise,

he found that the local indigenous people were reading the Bible.

"There is no God in the world. God does not exist. Do you understand? I am here to prove this."

"Oh? Really? But if there is no restraint from God , you have already entered my stomach.

"

8. Cannibal Recipes

When Chu Fengtou was traveling in Africa, he accidentally broke into the territory of the cannibals and was captured by the cannibals. The cannibal chef prepared five dishes< /p>

The tied-up Chu Feng put his head in front of the oil pan and asked:

"What's your name?" "

Chu Fengtou asked back:

"I'm already dying, what's the use of knowing my name! "

The head chef was furious:

"How dare you speak so harshly! I don’t know your name, how can I write a recipe? ! "

9. Recipes from the Cannibal Restaurant:

Braised Hunter: 15 yuan

Fried Missionary: 20 yuan

Fried Lady: 25 yuan

Raw politician: 1,000 yuan

Some people ask, why are "raw politicians" so expensive?

The answer is: 1. , Politicians are too cunning and the most difficult to catch. 2. Politicians have the most tender meat. 3. Politicians have dirty meat and are the most difficult to clean.

10. The British, Americans and Japanese. They were on the same flight; they accidentally crashed and landed in Africa (an area said to be sometimes visited by cannibals). Unfortunately, the three of them were picked up for dinner before they could escape, while they were looking at the cannibals with a frown. When they were doing the Huga Scare dance, they saw the chief coming to inspect the three fat dinners... The three of them had a glimmer of hope and tried to communicate with the chief (of course not using Kuaiduo!) They used body language to express their request to the chief to find a way out...; the indigenous chief agreed, but he came up with an exam question to embarrass them (of course it will not be the question of this joint examination!) His question Yes: The three of them were asked to take out the words and measure them. If they add up to exactly 19cm, let them go! At this time, the British volunteered to measure it first, wow! Then there was the American 10cm! Centimeters. The last one was two centimeters for the Japanese (ha!) Please do the math: 7+12=19, right? The chief kept his word and let the three of them crawl away from the cannibal village. Run for your life! Let’s go! The Japanese let out a sigh of relief. I was suddenly excited just now.

< p>11. When the cannibal walked into the Japanese mixed-sex bathhouse, he said happily: "Okay, the rice is nutritious and delicious!" "

12. A woman was chased by cannibals and ran into a dead end. Due to fright, the woman wet her pants. The cannibals saw this and cursed: "What a fucking pity! The soup was spilled! "

13. After a cannibal woman gives birth to a child, she must first hold the child to her husband and say diligently:

"Eat it while it's hot! "

14. Bless

The rich cannibal took his son to travel abroad. On the plane, the son asked his father: "Why are there so many people on the plane?" "

Dad replied: "God always bless us. "

Son: Can that airplane be eaten?

Father: An airplane is similar to a lobster. You have to remove the skin and eat the meat inside.

15. Great Harvest

When the World Cup football in France was in full swing, the cannibals came to the football field and saw the overcrowded scene, and couldn't help shouting: "What a great harvest this year!" "

16. An explorer went on an adventure in the Amazon Basin and was accidentally caught by a cannibal.

The explorer suddenly discovered that the chief not only spoke English, but was also a graduate of Cambridge University. , he breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that he finally escaped.

He asked the chief: "I believe your people's education must have improved a lot..."

The chief replied: "Of course, we eat people and have already started using knives and forks. "

17. There was a cannibal chief and his son who went out to look for food. They hid in thick haystacks, waiting for the prey to arrive.

Soon after, a skinny boy passed by. The patriarch's son asked his father: "Dad, how do you like this?"

The patriarch replied: "No, this boy is too skinny to eat." Taste!" Not long after, a fat man passed by, and the patriarch's son asked his father: "Dad, what about this fat man?"

The patriarch replied: "No, this is too fat, and eating it will increase cholesterol! "

Not long after, a graceful beauty passed by, and the patriarch's son asked his father: "Dad, what about this beauty?"

The patriarch replied: "Wow, great! Take this beauty home!"

The patriarch's son asked his father: "Do we have anything to eat?"

The patriarch replied: "Yes, cook your mother!" "

18. An explorer traveled to Africa alone and accidentally encountered cannibals in the wild. The explorer was surrounded by cannibals. In desperation, he shouted to the sky: "Oh God ! Help me, I'm going to die if this goes on!"

At this time, a voice came from the sky: "Don't worry, don't worry! You may not be dead yet, hurry up and throw a stone at that. Chief! "

The explorer followed God's instructions, picked up a big stone, and threw it at the chief, and the chief was killed.

The other cannibals were stunned for a while, and then started to glare at the explorer!

Another voice came from the sky: "Now, you are really dead!"