Have you ever said anything that makes people laugh? Do you remember? Did you laugh after you finished?

After teaching for 30 years, there are many jokes in class. Let me tell three ironic stories.

1, the student's name is "send it back" and a new junior high school student is welcome. Remembering students' names is a kung fu. Students' names are written in a variety of ways, some neatly, some like spiders dipped in ink on paper. The teacher recognized that they were reading gobbledygook. The first time I handed out a student's test paper, I recognized the students by the way. I called my name on the platform and the students came to get the test papers. After reading a name for a long time, I can only vaguely see that it seems to be Song, but I don't know the last two words. The second word is "Hui" and the third word is "Lai". I blurted out "Song (send) back". The students burst into laughter, and I suddenly woke up and couldn't help laughing. "Song (send) back", whose name is it? A boy stood up with a red face and whispered, "Teacher, my name is Song Guotai". The students burst into laughter again. I took the opportunity to warn my classmates: you must write well, or you will make a joke. Since then, this "Song Guotai" has written his name with strokes every time. Xiao Jiu replied, "Many years ago, my grandmother's grandson, my cousin, happened to be in my class. My cousin has nine brothers. He ranks ninth and is nicknamed "Xiao Jiu". The name is "Gu Jianming". The child is as naughty as a monkey. When he is dishonest in class, the teacher will have a headache. Once, when I was giving a lecture, he began to whisper again. I was angry and wanted him to stand up and answer questions. In desperation, I blurted out "Xiao Jiu's answer" (no teacher called the students' nicknames in class). The students burst out laughing. My "monkey" cousin also blushed with laughter, scratched his head and was at a loss.

I asked the headmaster to answer questions. Students have various names, and sometimes they have the same name or are similar to the students I have taught. It doesn't matter much. I'm afraid the names of the students conflict with those of the leaders. It may have a great impact. That year, there was a student named "YuGe". When I asked students to answer questions in class, I blurted out "Meng Fanyu answered". The students all opened their eyes and mouths with a look of amazement. I was surprised when the name came out. This is the name of our headmaster. What should we do if the headmaster is listening at the back of the classroom? I'm afraid to think about it.

4. "Big White Steamed Bread" When I was in class, when I was talking about sodium carbonate (commonly known as soda ash and soda), I mentioned that it was the alkali used by my mother to steam big white steamed bread. The students burst into laughter, and I was very angry. What's so funny? Just about to reprimand the students for being unreasonable, a student stood up and pointed to another boy in the class and said, teacher, he is white and fat, and his nickname is "Dabai Steamed Bread". The boy who was laughed at blushed and bowed his head. I'm not laughing. I reprimanded the students and warned them that it was uncivilized to give them nicknames. Students should respect each other. Respect is mutual. People who don't know how to respect others will not be respected. There are many ironic stories in class, and I will tell them to you later. Welcome comments, I am warm-hearted, warm-hearted.

I heard of it when I was in the countryside.

During the production team, women work in the fields and use their rest time to go home to nurse. A woman's child was seen by her father-in-law She hurried home to nurse the baby. The father is very worried that the child will not listen and eat milk. Just blurt it out, eat milk quickly, your mother is going to work, and earn points to buy you candy.

At this time, his grandfather felt that his daughter-in-law should not be in front of him when she was breastfeeding her child. The old man blushed and turned away. From then on, his grandfather looked like a mistake and held his head up in front of his wife.

what do you think?

I did say that. Not once.

I was still at school that year. According to the duty watch, I should be on duty. Several students cleaned the classroom after school, and I said something that made everyone laugh. I find it ridiculous myself.

I said, I put this door in the dustpan. I blurted it out and several students burst into laughter.

Everyone laughed and I was embarrassed. I said it backwards. I should put the dustpan at the door. [I want to be quiet]

Another time, after dinner in the evening, our family was sitting and chatting when we suddenly heard someone coming. I said, someone is coming.

They said, impossible, dogs don't bark. No sooner had the words been finished than the dog barked. I naturally gloat. When I was excited, I said the opposite: My dog's ears are better than dogs, right?

The whole family laughed and called me a dog's ear. Mine, he began, I am angry and can't tell you how bitter it is. Who made his mouth different from his heart? Obviously, I want to say that my ears are stronger than those of dogs. Therefore,

[Covering your face], I also convinced myself. How can I be so talented? Make a joke!

Jokes are words or things that make people laugh. They are simple and ingenious, often unexpected, and most of them reveal the phenomenon of misbehavior in life, which is ironic and entertaining.

I accidentally created a joke. I may be the one who is duplicitous.

The most ridiculous sentence, introducing my wife to a friend for the first time, "This is my grandmother's daughter"! My wife gave me a punch when she heard this. "What are you talking about?" I couldn't help laughing during my recovery.

How's it going? Kind of funny, isn't it?

When I was very young, some children didn't play with me, so I said, if you don't play with me, I want the police uncle to take you away. I finally laughed myself.

In junior high school, I was the monitor. In junior high school for three years, you have to wear a badge every day to enter school. If the invigilator at the school gate sees that you don't wear a badge, the class name will be counted to the grade director, who will hold a meeting to inform the class teacher. It is said that wages will be deducted. Therefore, the class teacher attaches great importance to this matter, and he will emphasize it countless times every Monday class meeting.

Once, a dozen students in the class didn't wear badges, and the class teacher asked me to take a message for you. I said loudly before class.

"In the future, every student must wear a bra when entering school. If he doesn't wear it, he can go home and get it, or he can ask for leave. Don't register with his name and class! "

As soon as the voice fell, the classroom burst into laughter. At this moment, I suddenly realized that I had slipped my tongue and was ashamed to death, but I couldn't help laughing.

It was the 1990s, and our thoughts were very conservative. When the biology class talked about the chapter "human physiology", the teacher didn't talk about it. Read it by yourself when studying by yourself. We are all embarrassed to read it (in fact, when the book was first published, everyone read it n times-).

So, you can imagine how embarrassed I was.

(about this, don't put it on the coat at the back)

I didn't say such a thing, but a neighbor let slip and told a joke, which made him feel ashamed, embarrassed and blushed.

One day, his daughter-in-law was breast-feeding with her arms, and a child was playing beside her. The child didn't eat well. He is still waiting for the baby to be nursed before taking care of it, but he also lost his temper. He said, eat quickly. Will you eat or not? If you don't eat, I will! When she said this, her daughter-in-law froze, and her face seemed to be covered with a piece of red paper. The two women next to him pointed at him and smiled, and the daughter-in-law went home with her child in her arms. He left a joke without bringing up a child.

A couple are getting married and invited their relatives and friends to their wedding. The couple invited them to their relatives' home and said that they would come to our wedding room when they are free. Relatives answered happily without thinking, good! I will definitely visit your humble abode when I have time. I felt embarrassed when I finished. After all, when you are old, you blurt it out, and you don't pay much attention to the husband and wife. Be careful what you say in the future.

I'm doing carpentry in Feng Jizhai Yin's house, and I'm listening to him. One day he went to hand in cigarettes, and it was his turn. The cigarette critic shouted with a list: "Yin Kaipu ... Yin Kaipu ..." Yin also knows culture and can't laugh. After handing out the cigarette, he and the stockade people laughed all the way home.

When I told Yin, he had laughed enough.

Another time, I helped a bed student make a square stool, and I wanted to buy 5 cm nails to nail the board. But I bought a 15 cm nail. Ah ... I waited to see the nail again, but I couldn't smile. Fortunately, the people on the opposite mountain are going to get things in the street. I asked him to replace the 15 cm nail with a 5 cm nail, just for a short time.

But after that, every time I met my little friends, I said, no one laughed.

Now that I think about it, I really want to laugh.

thank you