Ultrashort jokes hurt the stomach.

Cold jokes may not make people laugh as much as jokes, but because of their homophonic and intonation, they have a different flavor and can make you happier inadvertently. Here, I have compiled an ultra-short encyclopedia of cold jokes for you, which may make you laugh.

You'll laugh your ass off. Look at your ranking and you will know how many people are in your class.

There are two tragedies in life: despair and complacency.

3. police:? Drink? Ren Lei:? Don't! ? Police:? Why does it smell of wine? Ren Lei:? Had a beer. ? Police:? Beer is also wine! ? Ren Lei:? Excuse me, is snail a cow? Police:? No? Ren Lei:? Excuse me, is soy sauce oil? Police:? No? Ren Lei:? Is this girl a mother? Police:? No? Ren Lei:? Is beer wine? Police:? No? Ren Lei:? This is not the end! ?

I went to buy a bathing suit. After a girl tried it on, it was a little big. The boss said no problem. When she got into the water, she approached me. The girl said:? I'm going to the seaside. What if the swimsuit falls off in case of a big wave? ? The boss said: Don't worry, you can do any waves. . . ?

There are fewer and fewer frogs in nature and more and more frogs on the Internet.

If you waste my present, I will waste your future.

7. Whether it is sunny or rainy, it is a good day to sleep in a cage.

I saw a father and son passing by the park. Dad bowed his head to play with his mobile phone, and his son sat on the slide and cried unhappily for his father to play with him. Dad was so angry with him that he handed the gold ip to his son and said? Stop it! Play games for you! Be quiet! ? My heart says that this father really doesn't understand children's hearts. Then I saw the child sitting on the slide throw down the apple and clap his hands and say? Fun! Come again!

9. One day, a frog kissed the rabbit and ran away. The rabbit ran after him. The frog jumped into the pond in a hurry. Soon, a toad climbed out. Rabbit smiled: Haha, allergic!

10. Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately, in the end, he killed all the students.

1 1. A boy sends a message to a girl: Every time I miss you, the star drops a tear. This is how the sea is formed. Every time I miss you, a grain of sand falls from the sky, which is how the Sahara desert is formed; Who knows the girl replied angrily: Every time I think about you, I fart. This is how the ozone layer is formed.

12. Study hard for China! A pack of China cigarettes is a lot of money!

13. Female: I want to find a boyfriend. Man: Let me help you. One in our dormitory is not bad? . Woman: Aren't you distressed that I am with him? . Man: Think too much? Don't worry, I have nothing to do with him.

14. Borrow a friend's car, and the friend said to refuel it when returning it. When I returned the car, I rushed to the car and applauded.

15. There is a saying in Shushan, do it first, and learn endless sea to make porridge.

16. Why did I switch my mobile phone to flight mode, and it fell from the fourth floor or broke?

17. Always in a daze, afraid of becoming a nerd one day.

18. Girls don't bubble, which is a big rebellion; If you meet a girl, you will pick it up and do good for heaven.

19. I went to a buddy's house and only saw that buddy gave his wife an apple that was almost finished. I asked him: won't you buy another one for your wife? That idiot came up with a sentence:? My daughter-in-law didn't like leather, so I gave it to her. ? Then his daughter-in-law silently said:? Next time you chew thinner,,,

You'll laugh your ass off. 2 1. Don't buy useless things, no matter how cheap; Don't rely on people who don't love, no matter how lonely they are.

2. My son came home trembling: Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today? . Dad is very angry: don't call me dad if you fail the exam next time! ? After three weeks, my son came back from the exam, and my father asked: How was the exam? The son looked helpless:? Sorry, brother! ?

You promised not to make me cry, but you smoked me with damn onions.

4. A long time ago, there was a group of blind people who described the different appearances of elephants according to the different parts they touched. People call it blind people touching elephants. Today, many years later, countless people take selfies according to different parts of others on social networks to identify their goddess. This may be a historical cycle.

5. Pigs and dogs are prison guards in the animal kingdom. One day, they caught an uninvited guest named WeChat and locked him up. The next day, WeChat escaped from prison, and the warden put the dog in charge. The dog said aggrieved: I had a rest yesterday, and it was the pig who read WeChat!

6. It's the end of the world. There's something I've been keeping from you. Actually, I am Altman.

7. My eyes are crying for you, but my heart is holding an umbrella for you.

8. I take a fork in my left hand and a knife in my right hand, and enjoy life slowly.

9. Do what you want to do. Or let the pig talk nonsense.

10. Plant you in a flowerpot and let you know what vegetables are!

1 1. Every day, I draw a circle on my calendar. It was not until Sunday that I discovered that my life was an ellipsis.

12. Chatting in the lab, a girl said: I really want to marry a rich husband. ? The other said:? Me too. ? Then I interjected curiously: What do you want when you are rich? I thought I would talk about shopping, beauty and jewelry, but I didn't expect the two girls to have a bright eye and discuss it excitedly. You can do research freely if you have money! ? Yes, let your husband buy any reagents you want. ?

13. The face is a thing outside the body, but it is necessary. Money is a necessity, so we have to do it.

14. I just observed it for a long time, and there was no one around. I took my ID card and brushed two boxes of TT on the machine that automatically distributed family planning supplies free of charge in the community. I was just about to slip away, but I was stopped by a woman who came out of nowhere for questioning. Dude, I've been thinking about it for days. What the hell is going on with this thing? ? I was shocked and said reluctantly, put it on. ? Then you ran away? Now that I think about it, I actually want to ask how to use the automaton.

15. Look at you! Looking at the back, I was anxious and turned my head to scare away millions of lions.

You'll laugh your ass off. 3 1. The highest level of ignorance is two words: pretend to understand!

I'm not a fortune teller on the overpass, and I can't say what you like to hear.

Planting grass doesn't make people lie down, it's better to plant cactus!

4. Dad asked his son: Son, how did you make such great progress in your study recently? It's incredible! ? The son smiled: My mother accompanies me to the male teacher's house every day. The teacher is my mother's classmate. Of course it worked! ? Dad asked curiously, what did your mother say to the teacher? Mother said to the teacher: This is your own son! If you can't teach well, don't look for me in the future! ?

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

6. King Kong is a fool whose head is caught in the door; Have you ever seen a coconut tree grow bananas?

7. The monkey picked up a card to see what it was, so he climbed a big tree. Suddenly a flash of lightning hit the monkey, and the monkey cried and said, Shit, it's an IP card!

8. The difference between people and pigs is that pigs have always been pigs, but people are sometimes not people!

9. I went to a friend's house to be a guest, only to see that my friend gave his wife an apple that was almost finished. I asked him: won't you buy another one for your wife? Then came a sentence: she doesn't like skin, so I just gave it to her. Then his wife whispered:? Why don't you chew thinner next time? Honey!

10. What a terrible fool an educated fool is!

1 1. Think about it, kindergartens are still easy to mix.

12. Cheap is also an art. Let's do this art well together!

13. A four-year-old boy kissed a three-year-old girl! The girl said to the boy: You are responsible for kissing me. ? The boy patted the girl's shoulder maturely and said with a smile. Don't worry, I'm four years old, and I'm not one or two years old. .

14. It's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we are too demanding of the story!

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