High EQ Communication: How to Express Praise Correctly?

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We all like to be praised because the feeling of being praised is the feeling of being valued by others.

American philosopher william james once said: "In human nature, the deepest essence is the desire to be valued by others."

But most of us are not good at expressing compliments, let alone expressing compliments correctly.

You know, incorrect praise is better than no praise.

For a leader who is always blindly recognized by his subordinates, every sentence is like flattering someone who won't praise him.

For a beautiful girl who is often praised for her good temperament, everyone who can't praise is like criticizing someone.

So how can we praise others?

These four high EQ communication skills will definitely help everyone!

The core of praise is from the heart.

A compliment that is not accepted by others cannot be called a compliment.

In life, many people who think they are "good at talking" always fall in love when praising others.

I remember when I was an intern in my junior year, the girls who were internship together at the same time made a joke on the first day.

The leader is a middle-aged woman of about 45 years old, dressed simply and determined. Who knows that the girl began to boast at first sight: "Sister Xia, your skirt is really beautiful. I want to buy one like this!" " The leader who is telling us about induction training doesn't know what to say at the moment. ......

The next morning, the leader looked like he didn't sleep well The girl hurried forward to say hello and said with a smile, "Sister Xia, you look so good today!" " "Instantly noticed that the leader's face changed from pale to crimson, and angrily denounced:" Do your thing. Have you finished the task I assigned you yesterday? "

In fact, many people like her know the importance of praise in interpersonal communication, but insincere praise is disgusting.

There is a saying in the field of psychology: what is your inner world, what is your outer world. Praise for the sake of praise will give people a feeling of hypocrisy and disbelief.

Between people, sincerity is too important. A sincere person can easily win the trust and goodwill of others in the crowd.

If you don't have high EQ and proper routines to express your attitude, then return to sincerity.

As Luo Zhenyu said in "Thinking of Luo Ji": "The road to sincerity, sincerity itself is the road to everything."

If you really like a certain advantage of the other person from the heart, you should express it with your own feelings. Such praise is both vivid and credible.

Abstract praise is often not placed on a specific item, so that others don't know what to say.

Last time I watched If You Are the One with my family, Murphy asked the 24 female guests on the stage what they didn't like to hear the most.

Almost all female guests unanimously said that they were most angry when they heard "I think female guests are very temperamental". Because it means that male guests don't care, don't like their looks, and may also imply "ugliness".

For today's young people, it is not feasible to use traditional abstract praise routines! Only concrete praise can really win the favor of others.

The correct method is:

1. Express praise with beautiful things. Use a high-value thing to set off each other.

For example: "I think the female guest looks like the female star XXX (provided that everyone likes this person) ..."

2. Express compliments through other people's mouths. Capture the positive comments of others, and people with high positions or great influence have better evaluation results.

For example: "Last time Grandpa Meng said that the female guests sang well, today I heard that it was like this ..."

3. Express praise in contrast.

For example: "Female guests are much better-looking in person than on TV ..."

4. Express praise through specific behaviors and related objects. Praise this person's choice is to praise him.

For example: "The color matching and makeup choices of female guests are very good, and I think female guests are very fashionable ..."

Facts have proved that the male guests who expressed their praise in the program won the favor of the female guests present, even if they didn't succeed in holding hands in the end.

The so-called high emotional intelligence means being able to talk.

Social praise, too procedural, will also cause resentment of others.

Many boys always praise each other's beauty when chasing girls, and even show admiration. Such boys will eventually become spare tires or male girlfriends. ...

There is a term in economics called "law of diminishing marginal benefit".

It means that in a certain period of time, other conditions remain unchanged, when consumption begins to increase, the marginal utility will increase, that is, the total utility will increase greatly, but after accumulating a considerable amount of consumption, the marginal utility will gradually decrease with the increase of consumption.

For a beautiful woman with many suitors, she has heard countless monotonous and repetitive compliments. Every time a boy with such praise is added, her heart will be more disdainful and disgusted.

How can I praise a beautiful woman?

The correct way is to show personality and express praise with differentiation.

When others are praising the beauty's appearance and figure, try to find out what special needs and hobbies she has, and express praise according to these special needs and hobbies. Such praise must be unique.

There is a more extreme way, that is, don't express your praise for her. When others are praising her, you should criticize her moderately and even shake your head and walk away.

That's why you often find in idol dramas that the woman finally fell in love with the boy she liked, but the boy she didn't like or even hated in the early stage.

(Of course, this method requires a lot of face value and emotional intelligence. Sometimes when you shake your head, the whole world will say goodbye to you ...)

Let's get back to the point. What is the highest praise?

Tailored compliments, of course.

Man's highest need is self-realization. Praise others' highest needs rather than their appearance.

We all like the speech of the genius Jobs. His speech always touches everyone's heart. After listening, our blood is boiling and we can't wait to buy his latest product.

After Jobs returned to Apple as "iCEO" for the second time, he held a brand-new PC conference.

Other computer conferences praised how powerful their computers were, but Jobs did not praise what computers could do, but praised what creative people could do with the help of computers.

By praising people's creativity, he helped people to relieve their worries about computers replacing human work and made people full of confidence in the future.

The same way to praise each other's highest needs is: encourage more and praise less.

Since childhood, every time we accomplish a task well, we will be praised by our teachers or parents, but every praise only makes us happy at that time, and then we are full of pressure.

Because praise is usually aimed at the results and results, giving people a feeling that they can't control themselves.

The child got 100, and his parents praised him: "Baby, that's great, I finally got 100% ~"

This will give children a feeling of losing control and fear that they will not get 100 in the next exam.

A better way is encouragement, usually aimed at attitude and process, giving people a sense of control.

Similarly, the child got a score of 100, and his parents encouraged him: "Dear, you got a hundred points today, which is the result of your efforts. Mom and dad are happy for you. Continue to cheer. "

Mozart, a great musician, also said that he liked to hear encouragement rather than praise. He once complained in his memoirs: "I practice piano 12 hours every day, but people cover up all my efforts with a' genius'."

The deepest instinct of human nature is to be appreciated, and appreciation does not mean general praise.

Finally, I will give you a list of four ways to express praise correctly:

Mark Twain said, "A nice compliment can make me live for two months without eating or drinking."

I hope you can also become a person with high emotional intelligence, learn to express praise correctly and praise others every time!

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Your praise and concern are my greatest appreciation ~