Please tell 20 little jokes.

Woman: Because you are handsome.

Man: Handsome can't be eaten as a meal.

Woman: But if you are not handsome, you can't eat.

2. Q: Are you happy?

A: My surname is Fu.

Q: Why are you happy?

A: Because my father's surname is Fu.

Q: Why are you happy when your father is happy?

A: Because I am my own.

3. Wife: "Say, am I beautiful?"

Husband: "of course, more beautiful than anyone!" " "

Wife: "But when we got married, my mother only received a few hundred dollars as a bride price. What do you think this means? "

Husband: "it means good quality and low price!" " "

4. The senior said, "The ratio of male to female is 3 1!"

We replied, "A couple and a gay couple."

An old man didn't trust his wife before he died, so he called her to him and said, "Wife, I'm sorry. I had an affair the day I married you. " Unexpectedly, his wife popped out: "Nothing, you can go with peace of mind. You see which of our children looks like you. "

6. Buy a bottle of Master Kong jasmine honey tea first.

Drink half of it and then add water (until it is full), and it becomes jasmine tea.

Drink another half, add water, and become a sugar-free version of jasmine tea.

Drink another half, add water, and it will become a little sweet in Nongfu Spring.

Drink another half, add water, and become Nongfu Spring.

7. Boss: Sell socks! Three dollars a pair!

Me: cheaper, ten dollars for three pairs!

Boss: I bought more than that. I can't sell it ...

8. One day, my wife cooked a meal and said to her husband, "How about shredded pork with fish flavor?" "Almost." "How about sweet and sour pork ribs?" "just so-so." "A good word will kill you!" "Today's meal is so hard."

1, a classmate loves to fart, and they are all tonal. When the self-study was quiet last night, he suddenly came. After several times, the Chinese teacher finally got angry, patted the table and said, "Can't you get a hiccup?"

2. A student didn't come home in autumn and was asked to write a composition by autumn scenery. So I made up a sentence: When I came home today, the sweet potatoes were all ripe, hanging on the branches and shaking in the wind. ...

3. My son asked me, "What do you mean by getting twice the result with half the effort?"

I explained, "Because people do things properly, they get twice the result with half the effort."

The son nodded and said, "It's like a neighbor's aunt giving birth to twins. Is it twice the result with half the effort?"

4. Husband: "Will you forgive me for cheating in the future?"

Wife: "I castrated you directly!" " "

Husband: "No! Then you must keep it for me! "

Wife: "Don't worry, I'll keep it for you."

Husband: "Then I'm relieved."

Wife: "Don't worry, stay in the bottle!" "

There is a beggar in the street, begging there for a living every day. One day, someone suddenly found a bowl beside the beggar, but there was no one in it? He went up and asked, "Why did you put two bowls?" . The beggar smiled and said, "Hey, I don't know how the business has dropped recently. So I opened a branch. "

6. the Monkey King was taken to the Royal Horse Supervisor by Taibai Venus: "Bi Marvin, these horses will please you later." "Wait a minute! Where is the horse? " The Monkey King looked at the empty sea of clouds. "Look carefully, isn't that all?" "I only see a bunch of floating clouds!" "Yes, everything is a cloud."

Cousin: Why does the sun always shine on me?

His mother: Because you are the flower of the motherland.

His father: study hard, if it is a flower, develop it well, and don't grow into a wonderful flower in the future.

2. My girlfriend has a bad stomach and her abdominal pain is unbearable. She said to me, "No, my stomach hurts too much. I'm going to have a baby for you." I paused and said, "Don't talk nonsense, this is not my baby, it is obviously the child you eat with, and there is another name, called shit ..."

3, stomach pain, want to vomit. I was halfway through the exam this morning, and I couldn't hold back my vomit. The teacher came over and said with concern, "Why, the question is disgusting?"

4, the old vine is faint,

The school canteen has gone up in price,

Students are hungry and thin,

The sun went down,

Mom, I want to go home.

5, the night is not afraid of MUBI, you take off, I also take off.

6. Almost all love begins with "Hello", sublimates with "How are you", falls in love with "You are great", fades with "How are you" and ends with "Are you ok".

7. Youth: "I want to have a lot of money."

Zen master: "As long as you can find seven balls, your wish will come true."

Youth: "You mean the Dragon Ball?"

The Zen master shook his head: "No, it's a two-color ball ..."