Joke 7: I give a pig ten dollars every day, and they buy whatever they want.

1, just now, I asked my daughter-in-law, you said that one day I would pick up junk, would you come with me?

Daughter-in-law said: Who will see the child?

I said: I can weld, weld a small box next to the cart and put the child in!

Daughter-in-law said: Why do you have to pick up junk when you can weld?

Me. . .

Aunt in the country runs a pig farm. When hundreds of pigs finally gained weight, a group of law enforcement officers came and asked, "What are you feeding this pig?" Aunt told me truthfully: "swill, leftover soup, potato leaves, miscellaneous vegetables." The law enforcement officer's face sank: "This pork will be eaten in the future. How can you feed this stuff! A fine of three thousand! "

The next day, another group of law enforcement officers came and asked, "What are you feeding this pig?" Aunt learned well this time: "My pig is fed with rice and bread." Who knows that the face of law enforcement officers sank: "No! Some people still don't have enough to eat. If you waste food like this, you will be fined 3 thousand! "

On the third day, another group of law enforcement officers came and asked, "What are you feeding this pig?" Aunt thought for a long time and carefully replied, "My pigs eat leaves and grass." Who knows that law enforcement officers still have a heavy face: "You pigs don't feed pig food, and feeding leaves and grass doesn't destroy greening?" A fine of 3,000! "On the fourth day, another group of law enforcement officers came and asked," What are you feeding this pig? "Aunt was angry at this moment and said coldly," I don't need to feed this pig. "Who knows that the law enforcement officers still face a heavy:" Don't you feed this pig to gain weight? "Aunt ha ha said with a smile:

"Yes, I give a pig ten dollars a day, and they buy whatever they want! ! "

3. My son has a fever of more than 40 degrees and cries at 3 o'clock in the middle of the night. I shook my wife and said, "Listen, the voice of the child crying."

My wife froze, patted her face and said, "I still have the heart to sing." What the fuck time is it? "

I also took it back: "Are you fucking blind? I thought we said it was three o'clock in the morning! ! "

4. When the country aunt meets the talented person in the neighbor's house, she always calls out "brother talented person" with a warm kiss, but yesterday, the talented person was a little unhappy. He said sternly to her, "See you later. I want another position. 〃

Aunt doesn't know what a position is, and she doesn't know that Cai Liang became the section chief yesterday.

Early the next morning, my aunt met a talented person and greeted her gracefully: "Good morning, brother.

5. "Mom, have you seen my marriage certificate?"

"You're crazy! You don't even have an object, where did you get a marriage certificate? "

"oh! What if you hold a dog all day and say it's your grandson? "

6. One night, the young man sent the girl home and was reluctant to part at the door. The two of them embraced and kissed. Half an hour later, the girl's parents opened the window and shouted, "Fuck you, let go of my girl!" " The young man was scared and defended for a long time: "Uncle and aunt, we really love each other." The old man scolded, "I really don't care." If I kissed her, I would admit it. I will call my mother and kiss my doorbell in the middle of the night! " "

7. Don't always belong to single dog and single dog. You should be a single turtle by age, a single pig by size, and a single idiot by IQ.