Make girls laugh. Humorous jokes

Humor is the most human, and everyone will feel happy when they get along with humor. I collected some humorous jokes for you to make girls happy. Let's have a look.

A selection of humorous jokes that amuse girls.

1) a:? Well, the actress you introduced me to seems to be a girl with a heart of stone. ? b:？ A heart of stone If you fight hard, diamonds will touch her heart. ?

2) When my hero was young, there was a girl who was willing to give her life for me. She said firmly, if you pester me like this again, I will die. ?

A young man and his beloved girl walked hand in hand. When they passed the booth selling kebabs, the air was filled with intoxicating fragrance. The girl stopped and looked at the young man imploringly. The young man asked, do you like it? There is a longing in the girl's voice: of course. So, the young man said, let's go back and pass by! "

4) A boy likes a girl very much! So the boy summoned up the courage to confess to the girl! But the girl turned him down mercilessly! Boys, don't give up! I have been expressing my love to girls. Finally, one day, the girl was entangled and couldn't stand it, so she said in a pleading tone: Where did I attract you? Can't I change it?

5) One day, the canteen of the company opened the water. Accidentally, the water splashed on my hand, and a MM behind me took my hand and asked with concern: Did you burn your hand? Although it hurts, I just bite my teeth to show my manhood, okay? Nothing, nothing. ? Pretend nothing happened. MM suddenly turned around and said to the people in line behind him? Go home, the water didn't boil today.

6) A: Old classmate, long time no see. What's your annual salary now? B: Wanjia: 200,000 to 300,000 a month. Yes, this is the basic salary. A: Not bad. What do you do? B: Dreaming.

7) It's not my intention to send text messages. My intention is to send blessings. I hope you don't mind without your consent. Without any intention, I just hope you can get what you want. Accept my kindness and it's up to you whether to reply or not!

8) There are two requirements for a woman to get married: to be handsome and have a car, and to search her results by computer: chess. A man put forward two conditions for marriage: a beautiful one can cook, and a computer search for her results: a beautiful rice cooker.

9) female:? I want to formally warn you that my husband will be back in an hour. Man:? But I didn't do anything rude ? Woman:? I know, if you want to do something, there is only less than an hour left.

10) A man ran anxiously to the public toilet. There was a long line in front of the toilet, and he had to stand last. Finally, when there was only one person left in front, he couldn't hold on, so he said to the person in front, I can't hold on. Can you let me go first? The person in front clenched his fist and squeezed a word through his teeth. Shit, at least you can talk!

1 1) The father said sternly to his daughter's boyfriend: Young man, you only take my daughter to the movies and sit in the coffee shop every day. Can't you do something else? The young man said in surprise, you mean you can do other things!

Classic humorous jokes amuse girls.

1) A man ran anxiously to the public toilet. There was a long line in front of the toilet, and he had to stand last. Finally, when there was only one person left in front, he couldn't hold on, so he said to the person in front, I can't hold on. Can you let me go first? The person in front clenched his fist and squeezed a word through his teeth. Shit, at least you can talk!

2) The father said sternly to his daughter's boyfriend: Young man, you only take my daughter to the movies and sit in the coffee shop every day. Can't you do something else? The young man said in surprise, you mean you can do other things!

3) In the middle of the night, Bush saw bin Laden standing in front of the bed, criticizing his head and distributing it. Bush was startled and said, How dare you break into the White House at night! Bin Laden shook his chest-high beard and grinned grimly, saying, It's so soft and confident!

I dreamed of God yesterday, and he said he could grant me a wish. I took out my globe and said that world peace was too difficult. He said it was too difficult to change. I took out your photo and said I wanted this person to look good. He thought for a moment and said, bring me the globe. I'm looking at it.

5) The little babysitter in the country has a loud voice, and the host reminds her that all the people who come here tonight are important people, so keep your voice down. After dinner, guests play cards, and the nanny wants to go to bed early. She whispered into her master's ear. Why don't I go to bed first?

6) A couple goes to register for marriage. ? Did you have a premarital examination? Yes, his house and car are gone. ? I mean the hospital. ? The young woman blushed and whispered: Yes, it's a boy. ?

A couple of lovers were caught by a savage in the mountains. The savage said to them: you will let you go if you eat each other's shit. The lover did it. On the way home, the woman cried. The man asked her why, and the woman said sadly, you don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't pull so much.

8) In the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and went over to the man and said, you are so stupid. You should put her flat on the ground for artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. I am a doctor.

9) A Dai went to his girlfriend's house and saw that the living room was empty, shouting: Where are you? Girlfriend: I'm washing dates. There's nobody at home. Come and help me! A Dai is shy and silent. Girlfriend impatient: Come on! What are you doing? A Dai: I'm taking off my clothes!

10) wife: some people say that young people will lose their minds in the charming moonlight. Do you think this is correct? Husband: There may be some truth, remember? I proposed to you in the moonlight.

1 1) On the way to the priest's car, the priest put his hand on the nun's snow-white thigh. The nun smiled and said to the priest, Do you remember what the first article of the Bible says? The priest blushed and took his hand away. When he got home, the priest quickly opened the bible and saw that it said, "Go deeper and you will get great happiness!" " "The priest shouted: God! Unfamiliar business kills people!

12) The son asked his father what it meant to set himself on fire, and Lao Lang gently told him that it was something someone wanted. On one occasion, there was no chalk in Chinese class, and the young female teacher just wanted to get it herself. Lao Huang's son immediately stood up and said; ? Teacher, I know you are horny, so let me satisfy you ~?

13) After he escaped from prison, he went into the house and saw the young couple lying in bed. The prisoner kicked her husband out of bed, tied him to a chair, tied his wife to the bed and kissed her neck, then went to the bathroom. The husband said, honey, this is a prisoner. He may be locked up for a long time. Don't resist. Let him be satisfied. This man is very dangerous. If he is angry, he may kill us. Madam:? I'm glad you think so. Yes, he hasn't touched a woman for a long time, but he didn't kiss my neck just now. He whispered in my ear that he thought you were sexy and asked me if there was any lubricant in the bathroom. Be strong, dear, I love you! ?

Swimmer: The lifebuoy produced by your factory made me learn to swim quickly. Director: I'm flattered. Swimmer: The lifebuoy deflated at the sight of water, so I had to swim as hard as I could, and finally I learned to swim.

A Dai broke up with his girlfriend. Ask your girlfriend: Do you think our relationship can be saved? Girlfriend replied: it's a key on the phone! A Dai: Is it redial? Girlfriend: No, it's speakerphone.

Make girls happy. Humorous jokes.

1) A driver was pushing a car in the street. The traffic police asked: Is the car broken or out of gas? Driver: No, I forgot my driver's license today.

2) Wife: Am I pretty? Husband blurted out: very beautiful. After ten minutes, my wife asked, are you afraid of hurting me when you say I am beautiful? Husband smiled and shook his head: no, I'm afraid you'll hurt me.

3) A Dai said happily to Agua: I fell in love with the lady in the shoe and sock cabinet in the department store and decided to buy a pair of socks every day to cultivate feelings with her. Agua bitter face: you are so lucky! I fell in love with the lady in the gem cabinet.

4) Stranger men and women were arranged to live together by the travel agency, and there was nothing to say that night. In the early morning, the female silk scarf was blown to the tree, and the man tried to climb the tree and take it off. Unexpectedly, the woman cursed: you can climb such a high tree, but you can't get up with such a low bed!

5) A Dai has a shotgun. Whenever his wife Jane loses her temper, she throws it aside and Jane shuts up at once. The neighbor couldn't help asking Ahua: Does he really dare to kill you? Jane: No, I'm afraid he will kill himself!

A Dai: Long time no see. What have you been up to recently? Agua: I started writing full-time last year. A Dai: Not bad. How much have you sold so far? Agua: I sold my car and house!

7) The young couple quarreled and threw pillows from upstairs. A beggar happened to pass by and was very happy. After a while, the quilt also fell, and the beggar was ecstatic and shouted to the upstairs: Brother, do the good thing to the end and throw that woman down!

8) M: My wife is missing. Please help me find it! Policeman: What are her characteristics? Man: Not tall or fat, a little bald, with a big nose. Policeman: Then why are you looking for her?

9). A Shuang died, and his family held a funeral, crying his name: Shuang Shuang? Isn't that cool? Is it cool? Passers-by don't understand and ask, what are you doing? The cool family suddenly burst into tears: it's so cool!

10) Remember that year in high school, a buddy in the class quarreled with a girl? This is the background? The noisy girl shouted: I am your mother! The buddy paused and immediately said, Mom, I want to drink milk! Oh, the whole class is boiling and applauding!

1 1) One of my girlfriends went to stay up late and bought two bottles of coke on her way home. Idiot probably got mixed up on the internet. He shook the coke vigorously, unscrewed the lid and wrapped it in his mouth. Look at his mouth getting bigger and bigger, and the idiot won't let go. And then, and then I watched his nostrils start foaming?

12) I am a sister, with a lovely mother and a naughty father. One day, it rained and suddenly thundered, scaring my mother who had been afraid of thunder and lightning to scream, and my father hurried forward to comfort her. Honey, don't be afraid. I will protect you. ? I am so envious that I said to my father: Dad, I need protection, too, okay Dad said without looking back, it's enough for me to protect my wife. I don't care about other people's wives. ?

My boyfriend asked me: Which bag do you like? I took a look:? The red one. ? Boyfriend smiled:? Fool, that's not a famous brand. Don't be afraid, just pick what you like. It doesn't matter how expensive it is. ? My heart warmed up and I pointed to Lu:? Just her. ? My boyfriend gave me a kiss, then started the motorcycle and rushed to the woman.

14) At dinner, the mother told her daughter: Baby, you should eat more vegetables of all colors. According to the book, the more kinds of colors, the more complete nutrition? . ? With that, she pointed to the food on the table and asked, How many colors do you see? The daughter answered without thinking:? Six, counting the burnt ones, a total of seven! ?