Who has a joke story (note: be brief, finish in one minute, and make others laugh)

1. I received a phone call today, and the other party said a lot of nonsense, which made me confused. I got angry and said, "Who are you?" What's the matter? Is it "wrong number" This one is even angrier than me. He said, "What's the matter? What's the matter? I just charged you 1 yuan for the phone bill. You can chat with me for a while. What's the matter? 2. When someone saw a rental message, he called and asked. The other party said, "My son rented the house, but he is not at home now.". He thought about it and asked, "Is it quarterly or monthly?" As soon as the voice fell, the other party flew into a rage and said, "What stepfather-in-law, I'm his own father!" " 3. At the bank, an uncle expressed his doubts to everyone. I brought my dog to withdraw money. I didn't expect the dog to be very disobedient. He pulled a stall of shit in the lobby of the bank. I asked the service staff of the bank for a newspaper, wiped the shit on the newspaper and went outside. At this moment, a young man grabbed the newspaper and ran away. I was puzzled for a long time before I realized that this was a robbery. The uncle asked us in confusion: Should I call the police or not? 4. Walking through Little Square in the evening, I found a sister sitting alone on the seesaw, bored, and the other end of the seesaw was very high. Fortunately, I could still reach it, so I sat up and wanted to play with her. As a result, the seesaw didn't move, and my sister blushed instantly, glared at me and walked away in resentment. 5. When I was in primary school, I had a Chinese class and read an article by Qiu Shaoyun, and the teacher asked me to stand up and read aloud. One of them was "He looked at it with angry eyes", which was then read as "He looked at it with angry eyes". The teacher corrected: "It was anger", and he read it again: "He looked at it with angry eyes". At that time, the teacher said: "He also sprayed shit!" 6. When a male colleague was eating in a restaurant, he saw a little girl in her early teens who was very cute, so he teased her, "Little sister, will you play with you?" The little girl looked at him and said, "No, my mother said that the little girl should play with the little girl." The colleague refused to give up and said, "I'm a woman, too, please play with me ... The little girl looked at my male colleague and said," I don't believe it! You take off your pants and let me see! " 7. A girl had a crush on a boy in high school. When she graduated, the girl gave the boy a classmate record, and the boy returned it to the girl after writing it. The girl curiously read the message and found that the boy wrote a you. She was disappointed. When a girl has a child, the first word she teaches her child to write is you. The child proudly says, Mom, this word is too easy to remember, which means "I have you in my heart". Then the girl cried. 8. Take the subway to work in the morning. It's crowded! There was a girl next to her who was very cute. Kawaii was texting. I accidentally took a look and found that she wrote, "There are many people in the car today, which is very crowded." After a while, I remembered something and laughed to myself. After a while, I didn't mean to look back and saw the girl continue to write "There is still an SB standing next to it". 9. A young mother on the bus breastfed the baby, and the baby didn't eat honestly. The young mother was angry and said, "Do you eat?" If you don't eat it, I will give it to my uncle next to me! " I said it several times in a row. After a while, the uncle sitting next to him couldn't help it: "My little master, give me a letter of approval whether to eat or not. My uncle has been in two stops!" " 1 ... After doing homework for a long time, I turned on the radio conveniently, and a gentle voice came out: "... If the skin color pays dividends and the fluff on my face is tender and soft, it means that it is very healthy ..." When I heard this, I couldn't help touching my face, looking at the mirror and smiling again, looking healthy and lovely. At this time, I heard the announcer say, "OK, listener friends, this time our lecture on pig-raising knowledge is here ..." 11. My colleagues are happy to have your son. When his son just learned to speak, he said to his son every day, "Call Dad." The son followed suit and said, "Call Dad." Over time, my son got into the habit. When he saw him, he said, "Call Dad." He couldn't help it, so he began to correct it. Now he says to his son every day, "Dad." 12. I went to Sanya with him last week, and michel platini took me for a walk in wuzhizhou. Looking at the lonely sails in the South China Sea, the old man pointed to the distant warships and said, Dear, can I buy back a warship with the money I spent on you in recent years? Me: You damn fool ~, why didn't you say that all the guns you put on me could be recovered from Huangyan Island? ...