Please help me find some jokes about monkeys and mosquitoes.

Powerful China mosquito

There are three mosquitoes showing their flying skills. We farted for a long time, quarreled for a long time, and couldn't tell the outcome, so we decided to "show off" each other.

When the British mosquito attacked for the first time, it flew to a frog and circled it several times. When it came back, it saw the frog's tongue tied a slipknot, and it proudly said, I'll tell you! Before I get old.

Home, if you don't have this ability, it will be finished soon!

American mosquito sneered twice: Hum! Carving worms, not to mention! ! So he flew to the two frogs and ran back and forth between them several times. When he came back, the tongues of two frogs formed a fast knot. He said, humph! In my hometown, you have to live like this!

China Mosquito replied disdainfully: Just kidding! In our hometown, we have never seen such poor technology! British and American mosquitoes said unconvinced, like this! ? How capable do you think you are?

As a result, mosquitoes in China flew to a group of frogs and shuttled through them several times. When they came back, they saw the frog's tongue pulled together and became a' Chinese knot'.

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Double eyelid mosquito

It is said that in the samurai competition between China, Japan and Russia, the Russian samurai pulled out his knife and cut the fly released by the referee in half, and the referee gave him 80 points.

At this time, the Japanese came up and drew their swords. The referee gave 90 points. He cut off the wings of the fly!

It's China's turn to be a warrior. He waved and took two kitchen knives, and the referee gave him 100. The other two refused to accept it and asked the referee. The referee picked up the fly and told them to look at it. China's samurai cut double eyelids for flies!

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Poor country mosquito

Once upon a time, there was a mosquito in the country and a mosquito in the city. They were good friends. Once, mosquitoes in the country invited mosquitoes in the city to play in the country and invited mosquitoes in the city to rub rice at night. Because the country people are poor, they don't hang mosquito nets, and two mosquitoes have a hearty meal.

A few days later, mosquitoes in the city invited mosquitoes from the countryside to play in the city. In the evening, guests were invited to dinner, and people in the city hung mosquito nets. Two mosquitoes walked in the city for half a night and found no one to bite them. However, it is not good for guests to go home on an empty stomach. Mosquitoes in the city had to bring mosquitoes from the countryside to the temple. Two mosquitoes stung the clay idol for a long time, and the mosquitoes from the countryside came home at dawn.

After coming back, other mosquitoes in the countryside asked him, "What's the city like?" It replied, "Everything in the city is very good, except that the people in the city have no taste."

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A mosquito that died in vain

One day, a beautiful woman was taking a bath in the bathroom. A mosquito came to look for incense and landed on her jade leg, enjoying the fragrance greedily. When the beauty saw it, she was shocked. When she mentioned the jade shoulder, she went down with a bang. The mosquito died, and the beauty looked at it with a microscope. This is a male mosquito. Knowing that male mosquitoes don't suck blood, the beauty pouted and said, "This is not right."

Once upon a time, a monkey found a card on his way home. Out of curiosity, the monkey picked up the card and jumped into the tree. Who knows, bang, the monkey was hit by lightning. The monkey picked up the card again and saw that it was an IP card.

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A group of monkeys, end to end, tried to catch the moon in the river again and again, but never succeeded. A silly little monkey was anxious: "When can we catch the moon?" The Monkey King said seriously, "Didn't you see it? We have been working hard. "

When the monkey entered the cornfield, the next petal of his right hand was placed under his left armpit, and he found a better one, so the next petal of his left hand was placed under his right armpit, and so on. The monkey was busy for a long time, but there was no sign of stopping. This is the monkey on sentry duty: "OK, OK, have you found a good one?" The monkey with corn petals turned around and said seriously, "There is no best, only better!" "

It is said that once the animals in the forest held a party. Organized by monkeys, pigs, kittens, puppies, lambs, deer and many other animals participated. Everyone finally agreed to cross the river. So everyone found a boat and rowed to the other side. When the boat rowed to the middle of the river, a strong wind suddenly blew on the river and the boat staggered and capsized. At this time, the monkey thought, if the boat capsized, I wouldn't be able to swim, and I couldn't live if I fell. Someone has to make a sacrifice and go down by himself. So he thought of a way.

& ltbr & gt The monkey said to everyone, "It's windy. If the ship is bad, it will sink. We must have someone go down. " In this way, none of us tell jokes. If a person doesn't laugh at this joke, he will be thrown into the river. "Everyone agreed. The monkey was the first to tell a very interesting joke, and everyone laughed from ear to ear except the pig. I can't help it. The monkey was thrown down. The second one was told by a lamb. Similarly, the jokes told by the lamb are also very interesting. But the pig still didn't laugh, and the lamb was thrown down. At this time, it's the kitten's turn. The kitten is worried. Is this little pig intentional? . Just as he thought. The little pig burst out laughing. Everyone is puzzled. Ask him what he's laughing at. The pig said, "That joke told by Brother Monkey is really funny. hahaha. . "

Monkeys and goats perform tightrope walking together. As soon as the monkey jumped on the goat's back, he shouted, Brother Yang, don't shake, I'm dizzy! "I don't want to shake, shake, who the fuck connected the wire and electrified it?"