Getting married is a joke.

Unexpectedly, Wu Dalang was poisoned by Pan Jinlian and Ximen Qing, and then was thrown into the Yellow River and floated into the sea. Dalang's life should not be predestined. The cold sea awakened him. At this time, a turtle swam over and picked Dalang up. I saved you now, so you must repay me later. Dalang replied that the tortoise carried Dalang to an island. The island is full of short fishermen. When the fishermen saw Dalang's joy, they ran around and told him that there was a tall, handsome and powerful man on the island.

The fishermen held a meeting and discussed: "Our ancestors have been so short for generations. If we want to use the height advantage of this ambition to improve our race, let's choose him as our king. " So Wu Dalang became king. There are seventy-two concubines in three palaces and six courtyards, and there will soon be a group of governors in Wu Dalang. These princes scattered among the people and intermarried with civilian women, so the height of local residents has improved significantly since then. After Wu Dalang became king, he was still obsessed with his hatred for Ximen Qing. Every day, he thinks, "Ximen Qing is disgusting. Every day is my head. " Just when a minister came to ask the name of the country, Dalang said, "Japanese." Another minister took out a white cloth and asked for a national flag. Dalang casually took out a piece of kitchen cake and patted it hard. At the thought of Ximen Qing, he was ashamed and angry, and vomited one mouthful blood on the kitchen cake. It became the national flag of Japan. Dalang thought again, "Ximen Qing and Pan Jinlian tried to kill me, but I was lucky and lasted for a long time." Immediately, write a letter on the national flag: Wu Yunchang. Meaning: Wu Dalang has been lucky for a long time. I remembered my promise to the tortoise and ordered the whole country to regard it as sacred. Dalang was born as a chef selling cakes, so he bowed to everyone. All Japan follows the example of the king. As a king, Wu Dalang was quite diligent at first. Every day is "play early if you have something to do, and leave early if you have nothing to do." But after some days, he felt bored. Officials have to talk about trivial things for a long time. So he said, "You write down the important content of the matter as a souvenir and show it to me." The ministers were surprised and said, "What is writing? We can't read or write. " Wu Dalang said, "OK, I'll give you a cram school to eliminate illiteracy." So Wu Dalang opened a minister literacy class with his limited knowledge to learn to write. However, Wu Dalang is a cook's cake seller, and he only knows a few words. He only remembers some radicals of many words. When ministers study communication abroad, they forget some words, so this is a kind of "fake" word, such as hiragana and katakana. This is an important part of oriental culture. One day, Dalang found that his subjects had no surnames. So he added, "This can't be done. You have to have a name. Well, no matter where you live, you can take your last name. " So there are surnames like Tanaka, Matsushita and Yamaguchi. As for the name, take the row of one two three four five six seven for example. But the boss can't be called Dalang. That's my taboo. I can only call Taro. The second child can't be called Jiro, which is a taboo for my brother Song Wu. He can only be called Jiro, and you can call the others in order. I have no problem with that. "So this country has Yamaguchi Taro, Tanaka Jiro, Isoroku Yamamoto and so on.

When Wu Dalang became king, he was always tired of eating delicacies. He remembered that when he was drifting at sea, he had nothing to eat and had to catch raw fish to eat. Looking back now, the taste is quite good, so he asked the chef to eat the fish raw instead of cooking it. This dish has been popular and welcomed by the Japanese, and has since become the famous dish of this country "raw fish". Wu Dalang also found that Japanese people, like China people, sleep in beds. He was very angry and thought Pan Jinlian was having an affair with Ximen Qing. Ximen Qing often went to his house. He had no place to sleep, so he had to sleep on the ground. Since I, the king, have to sleep on the ground, you can only sleep on the ground! In this way, we can not forget to take away the shame of our wife! So he promulgated another law according to this meaning. From then on, the Japanese can only sleep on a mat, which is called "tatami".

Wu Dalang is known as the "golden tongue" in the Central Plains, and he has some inferiority complex. He is afraid of being looked down upon in Japan. He ordered that all the people taller than him in the country should be put to death. Many families beat their sons into bowlegs to keep them alive. So the Japanese are short and have many bowlegs. Dalang hated women because of Pan Jinlian, and ordered Japanese women to wait on their husbands only at home, kneeling down to wait on them, showing the heavy punishment. All beautiful women are executed, so there are many ugly women in Japan. Wu Dalang was king for several years, but he died. Before he died, he was worried that he could not defeat Ximen Qing and repay his wife's loss, so he left a legacy for future generations to seek revenge from Ximen Qing. Later, his descendants practiced Cao day and night and went to Shaolin Temple to steal a few tricks. In memory of Dalang, King Wu, they named it Bushido. Later, due to the low level of Japanese education, the fake writing of the country spread as Bushido. Because Wu Dalang won the world by his own hands, these kungfu skills are also called karate. Since then, the Japanese have always dreamed of invading China.

In the 42nd year of Jiajing (1563), the Japanese army occupied Pinghaiwei and Xinghua City, and Qi Jiguang, a patriotic general of the Ming Dynasty, led troops to crush the Japanese army. 1823, a Japanese folk scholar put forward an amazing plan to invade China; 1in may, 874, more than 3,600 Japanese troops invaded Taiwan Province province. 1894, Sino-Japanese Sino-Japanese War of 1894; 1928, the Japanese army created the "Jinan Massacre" and slaughtered more than 1000 people in China. 193 1 "September 18th Incident"; 1937 12 13 The Nanjing Massacre killed more than 300,000 unarmed people in China. ...

No one expected that because Pan Jinlian had an affair, every cloud in Wu Dalang had a glimmer of hope to become the Japanese emperor; I never thought that Wu Dalang's descendants invaded China as many as 14 times to avenge his wife, which also brought great disasters to the history of China and the people of China.