Who can give me some short humorous jokes?

1, don't mess with me, or I'll let you die rhythmically.

It doesn't matter that you can't get every apology.

I've been really busy recently, and it's hard to get enough sleep for 16 hours a day.

4. Rock, scissors and cloth, whoever loses will take off his pants ~

5. Play dumb. If you do it well, you will be as stupid as you think. Well done, it is called deep.

6. When we walk on the road, we go over and kick children when we see them, which proves that we are not pedophiles …

7. If you can't bear it, just bear it again!

8. I swear never to swear again!

9. You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

10. My father asked me what kind of life I wanted. I answered money and beauty, and my father punched me in the face; I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively.

1 1. Patron saint, I am a poor monk, and I can't heal my wound through clothes … I am guilty …

12. There will be a pig who loves you for me.

13. The pull ring of cans loves cans, but the cans are filled with coke.

14. Because I am extremely poor, I have been doing homework for primary schools in winter and summer vacations for a long time, bullying other students for primary school students, and have undertaken the following businesses: coolie handling, fitter welding, water and electricity, bricklayer, smashing walls and digging holes, toilet sewer drainage, VF, C++. NET, Java, asp, assembly, flash, writing papers, taking CET-4 and CET-6.

15. I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

16. Sleep is an art-no one can stop me from pursuing art!

17. After seeing me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so single-minded!

18. Don't try to be brave after dark without medical insurance and life insurance. ...

19. Women are girls no matter how ugly they are. If she is a girl, she has the right to be picked up! ! Why don't you hit on me?

20. If you want to wander the rivers and lakes, you'd better be single.

2 1. I'm gone, and China seems to have lost his soul. This view is not good.

22. If nothing happens, I believe that if you can't say a few words to me, you will be conquered by my personality charm and suddenly have the impulse to write me a love letter in your mind. I advise you to save it My 108 mailbox is full of beautiful women's love letters, and there is no room for you.

23. The bombarded head was also combed by lightning.

24. I am 23 years old, everyone loves me, flowers bloom and flowers fall, and the car has a flat tire! ! ! Every time I walk down the street, either a handsome guy turns around or a beautiful woman jumps off a building!

25. Today, I went out and bought some cheap vegetables for rabbits. After a turn, the cheapest cabbage is 2 Jin Yuan. It seems that my rabbit is dying, and I can't afford to keep it.

26. What kind of world is this? People live like dogs, and dogs live like people.

27. Nowadays, there are fewer and fewer female perverts in society. If I see her, I won't let her go.

To avoid domestic violence, I decided not to get married.

29. I have done many stupid things, but I don't care at all. My friends call it self-confidence.

30. I am different from you because I am human.

When I was a child, my dream was not to be a scientist. I fantasize that I am the master of the landlord's family, and there are thousands of hectares of fertile land at home. I am in a daze all day, and it has nothing to do with leading a group of dog slaves to flirt with a good girl on the street. ...

32. Youth is like toilet paper. It looks a lot, but it's not enough.

33. As long as there is electricity, my qq will be online.

34. A sleepless night, wandering thoughts, escalating temper, nothing to play lightly, nothing to go around, and ruin if you don't follow.

35. Lie down where you fell.

36. Friendly reminder: The user's signature is too personal and is automatically blocked by the system!

As an animal, I feel a lot of pressure. . .

38. It is said that 80% of online status displayed on QQ is on-hook, and 80% of offline or invisible status is online.

39. Shh ... Don't tell them I did something good, it will affect my image. ...

40. I am determined to unify all mankind. Please vote for me.

4 1. As a smoker, you must have three conditions: cigarettes, lighters and shameless charm when smoking ~

42. Why is the dust on the table gone? There is also a phone number on it. ...

43. Lingling, Lingling, another ice cream

44. Now you must look at the object carefully, because there are too many men and women now!

45. People you like don't appear, and those who do don't like it.

46. If you are ugly and want to video, please respect yourself! ! !

47. I: Yushu is facing the wind, majestic, with eyebrows and stars. I am kind, handsome and absolutely beautiful. I am also a bronze complexion, with strong body and strong arms, soft outside and rigid inside, docile in the wild and dissolute in the melancholy. I am just a role model for men and a gospel for women.

48. Many times, I like someone else, but she doesn't know it; More often, I hurt others unconsciously.

49. The grievances that can be said are not grievances; A lover who can be taken away is not a lover.

50. When men cheat, their IQ is second only to Einstein ~

5 1. Love is like poop, once the water is washed, it can't come back ~ Love is like poop, once it comes, it can't stop ~ Love is like poop, but it's different every time ~ Love is like poop, sometimes it's a fart to work hard for a long time!

52. As long as the hoe dances well, what corner can't be dug down?

53. Your dirty smile-I can't even find it with Baidu.

Dad asked me why I learned to smoke behind his back. I said, "I'm depressed that Taiwan Province can't be saved!

I always think of you when I feed the pigs.

56. Flowers often belong to cow dung rather than people who appreciate it.

57. I'm glad I've got enough 1.50 yuan, I can finally surf the Internet again!

58. Fighter in the slag, VIP in the slag.

59. I used to be an angel, really! When I arrived, God kindly said to me, "Go, son, you were born to make up the exam.

60. Between relatives, talking about money hurts feelings; Between lovers, talking about feelings hurts money.

6 1. I'm not as perfect and strong as you think. Money and beauty are enough to conquer me!

62. Don't believe in love at first sight, because you can't see how much money the other person earns at a glance.

63. Animals are still a little pathetic, but I'm not, so I'm not an animal.

64. I, as far as IQ is concerned, have 10 brain teasers, and I can answer 8 at once; On knowledge, when I was 10, I had been studying for 8 years. There are only 10 minutes left until the paper is finished. I can dictate a beautiful article, record it, change up to eight words, and then I can publish it. As far as memory is concerned, I can only remember 8 of 10 phone numbers once. As for endurance, I can pee in the morning 10 until 8 pm the next day. ...

65. Is there true love? Of course, there are many in TV series.

66. Don't test people, they can't stand the test.

67. When will you invite me to dinner? I'll go out and buy you a bag of crispy noodles later.

68. As long as Taiwan Province Province is not recovered, I can't pass Grade 4 in one day.

69. men can be romantic but not X L, women can be romantic but not abortion!

70. Behind every successful man, there is a woman; Behind every unsuccessful man, there are two women.