Why do highly educated women become leftover women for answers?

Nowadays, many highly educated women think that it is difficult for them to find a partner, and the fear of marrying a female doctor has become a joke. There are also some jokes in the society, such as "Zhao Min is a junior college student, Huang Rong is an undergraduate student, Li Mochou is a master student, and doctoral students are extinct teachers", "There are three kinds of people in the world: male, female and female doctors" and "worrying about papers during the day and getting married at night".

First of all, I am too busy with my studies to get married.

Look at the highly educated women around us. Nine-year compulsory education, three-year high school and four-year undergraduate course, and I was 2034 years old when I graduated; Further, I graduated with a master's degree of 267; When I graduate from my doctor's degree, I will be in my thirties directly. Moreover, highly educated women are generally more enterprising, which can be seen from their pursuit of knowledge. By the time the doctor graduated, women of the same age had already fallen in love and got married, becoming the mother of their children. As for myself, I put on a top hat for my master's degree and doctor's degree, and gained something academically. But I have little time and energy to fall in love because of my single-minded study. Inadvertently, the golden season of love has passed.

A girl who just graduated from college came to me to buy our love headhunting service, saying that she would marry herself as soon as possible. But also told me: "Sister Xiaolong, now I can choose someone else, and two years later, someone else will choose me." I must marry myself before I am 25! "It seems that once a woman is over 26, no one wants her. But you can't help but admit that with the increase of age, the scope and optional space for women to choose a spouse is getting smaller and smaller.

Youth is not always there, so hurry up and fall in love! Fate is hard to meet, but it can be found. Do n't wait Inadvertently, I lost my mind, missed it and met it again. There are many highly educated women who are very enterprising. They often feel that their studies and careers have not been achieved, and it is a waste of time to fall in love without material foundation and career foundation. However, love must not wait until everything is ready, and it will be too late if you are not careful.

It is not entirely out of subjective choice for highly educated women to fall in love and get married late, but it is also a kind of helplessness in many cases. They are usually the best in their age group. Teachers, parents and society have paid more attention to it since childhood. They have higher IQ and lower EQ, and spend most of their time studying. Their life is relatively simple, and there are very few people they usually contact. In addition, they are not active enough to participate in activities and have a narrow range of friends. They can only worry about their love life. Coupled with the innate sense of superiority, it failed to keep up with the general rhythm of talking about marriage, thus missing the best age for marriage and love.

Second, the traditional concept of marriage and family excludes highly educated women.

A female member of jiayuan described her marriage experience and feelings among Chinese Americans. China men can't tolerate women being equal to him, she wrote. A woman with a little ability is ridiculed as a "strong woman". Who is a strong woman? That is an "alternative" that everyone is far away from. Strong women make men feel strongly threatened. China men need to show their strength in front of women and look up to them, so this woman must be humbler than him. A female doctor in China showed kindness to a male compatriot who graduated from undergraduate course, which provoked the male compatriots who were beyond their reach to flee in a hurry. This male compatriot who works as a small white-collar worker in an American company is more willing to go back to Chinese mainland to "interview" dozens of young beauties, including receptionists in five-star hotels. China men expect to be worshipped by women at the peak of their careers; China men look forward to women's comfort in the low tide of failure. What a man in China is looking for is actually a copy of his mother, a woman who loves him, a woman who worships him, and a woman who can satisfy him, not the woman he loves.

In this case, it is inevitable to be extreme, but this phenomenon has been put aside, and the influence of traditional concepts on marriage and mate selection has always existed. A few decades ago, Mr. Qian Zhongshu expressed this "theory" about marriage in Fang Hung-chien's father's Fortress Besieged: "Women who have read several books are the most difficult to control. Men must be a layer taller than her and can't be equal to her. So college graduates marry middle school girls, and foreign students marry college girls. Only foreigners dare to marry foreign women with doctoral degrees, otherwise men are at least double doctors. "

In the traditional concept, men are the backbone of a family, and it is natural that men are taller than women. Therefore, men usually don't marry so-called "strong women". If you want a man to marry a wife with higher education, higher income and higher social status than himself, it is simply a slap in the face and kill him. On the other hand, it is difficult for women to accept that men are inferior to themselves in academic qualifications, income and social status. Even if he can accept it, he will often be resisted by society and family. As a result, "my favorite famous flower was taken away, and my eyesight was poor." Women with high education, high income and high age, like men with low income and low education, have really become a "big problem" in the marriage market.

Third, the gap between men and women in the cognition of mate selection criteria.

There is a big cognitive gap between men and women in choosing a spouse. Men tend to find women who are younger than themselves and have lower education than themselves, rather than women who are stronger than themselves and better than themselves. A man who wants to marry a wife doesn't care how high her education, income and ability are. I care more about this woman's appearance, personality and temper. Then there is education and work. No wonder some people say that men are visual animals. On jiayuan's website, members with photos are almost 20 times more likely to be viewed than those without photos. Some of the most beautiful women can receive thousands of letters here a month, which looks ordinary, but excellent women with higher education receive far fewer letters. This is very telling. Of course, looking at the appearance does not necessarily mean that the appearance must be beautiful, but you must have feelings. After all, love is important. Academic knowledge is the basis of communication after in-depth communication. If two people feel that they can communicate and try to communicate, the advantages of highly educated women will gradually come out, but the reality is that highly educated women often don't get the opportunity to start communication and lose on the first feeling.

And highly educated women usually don't realize this. When choosing a partner, women often first consider each other's "education, work and income geometry." Often highly educated women are completely independent economically and spiritually, because their pursuit of spiritual and emotional life is relatively idealistic, and they have high requirements for mate selection and are unwilling to compromise easily. Many of them find it difficult to accept men with lower education and income than themselves. Although many of them regard "sociability" as an important condition in mate selection criteria, their educational background is often regarded as the basis of communication, and the economic strength of the other party is also an unavoidable problem. These people all think that finding a man should at least not earn less than themselves, but they often earn too much, so it is very troublesome to find it. Their ideal object actually exists in a large number in Jiayuan, but on the other hand, the ideal spouse of this group of highly educated women is often not such a highly educated older woman, but a gentle and beautiful little girl who is not deeply involved in the world. So the person you like, the other party can't accept it, either the education is too high, or it is old, or it is not gentle and beautiful enough. People who like them are unwilling to accept it, either because they are too old, or because their education is lower than their own and their income is not as good as theirs. Those who don't love me are the people I love, and those who don't love me are the people I love. On the opposite side of the highly educated female group, there is a big blank. Some good-looking, gentle and lovely people may find satisfactory husbands, but others can only fail or prolong the search time. Jiayuan once had such a personals, whose pursuer was a 365,438+0-year-old female doctor. She asked her boyfriend to be 30-35 years old, with a height of 180 or above, with a doctor's degree or above, a house and a car, no marriage history, a monthly income of15,000 or above, no medical history, filial piety to parents ..... Because the selection range is too narrow, few respondents. By the time they adjust their mentality to face the reality, they have already missed best age for marriage.

So there is such a joke:

Fourth, the cultivation of highly educated women.

No matter how the times change, how the criteria for women to choose a spouse change, men's eyes remain unchanged for thousands of years. They always like young and energetic girls. Nowadays, cheerful and lively girls seem to be more popular with boys, which seems to be not the strength of most highly educated women. In general, they always choose reserved waiting and habitual low-key so that they miss many good relationships. Sometimes besides luck, love needs courage to sell itself. Silent intellectual women must actively strive for and grasp a few opportunities.

Many people mistakenly believe that highly educated women can only read, but can't cook, only work and can't dress up. Actually, it's not. A person who reads better than others, how difficult is it to cook? Women with high academic qualifications are not short of life interest, but they can still manage their lives in an orderly and colorful way. What's wrong with marrying a wife with high IQ? I hope more outstanding men can appreciate the Excellence and beauty of highly educated women. Marrying a highly educated woman means having a wise wife. Children's education does not need the father to worry too much. When a person encounters difficulties, he has a strong backing behind him.

It suddenly occurred to me that one of my master's roommates, who is still studying for a Ph.D. at Fudan University, is a smart, quick-thinking talented woman and very humorous. As a close friend, her talent and humor can make you feel a lot of happiness, and chatting with her is also a very pleasant thing. The clever woman didn't let herself stay. She got married after she graduated with a master's degree, and her husband downloaded it online. In order to appreciate her science fiction, she chased from Shandong to Shanghai and finally caught it. As far as I know, their lives are very happy.

There are many highly educated women on Jiayuan's website, and I often communicate with them. In fact, they are really a group of women who shine with a little sunshine. They are full of longing for the future, curious about life, loyal to their feelings and persistent. They sincerely long for a true and beautiful relationship and a stable and peaceful life. I think they are no different from other women in the preferences of clothing, cosmetics, entertainment and other items.