Urgent for English jokes with Chinese translation

Customer: Waiter, there is only one piece of meat on my plate.

Attendant: Just a moment, sir. I'll cut it in half.

Customer: Waiter, why is there only one piece of meat on my plate?

Attendant: Just a moment, please, sir. I'll cut it into two pieces.

Father and son

Son: Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he gets married. Is that true?

Dad: It happens in every country, son.

Son: Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man didn't know his wife before he got married.

Father: Son, actually all countries are like this.

It depends on the situation.

Tourist: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?

Conductor: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.

Tourist: Can I still catch the 3 o'clock train to Toronto?

Conductor: That depends on how fast you run. The train left 0/5 minutes ago.

To be on the safe side

In the cinema, during a performance, an audience stood up, walked along a row of seats and entered the hall. A few minutes later, he came back and asked the man sitting in the front row:

Excuse me, did I step on your foot when I went out just now?

Yes, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't hurt at all.

Oh, no, it's not that. I just want to make sure this is my row.

In a cinema, an audience stood up during the performance and walked along his row to the lounge. A few minutes later, he returned to the row and asked the person sitting in the first place:

Excuse me, did I step on your foot when I went out just now?

Yes, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't hurt at all.

Oh, no, that's not what I meant. I just want to make sure this is my row.