202 1 humorous jokes

1. Why do you remind me that "money is not everything"? I'm not that greedy. I just want money, but I don't expect it to do everything.

You never know how rich those people who look poor are, but I am different. I look poor. ...

Do you want to get rich overnight? Do you want to be worth more than 100 million? Do you need food and clothing? Do you want to live carefree? If you want to, why don't you come to me and we'll think together.

No matter how beautiful your face is, it will grow old one day. I don't think I can afford this loss, so I have never looked good.

Don't panic when life is not going well. Looking at my wallet and savings, I cried.

6. I don't have any outstanding advantages, but I have a special eye for girls. The girls I chased all married good people in the end without exception.

7. "What kind of man is the most exclusive?" "People who drive trains." "Why?" "Cheating is looking for death!"

I used to think about how to get rich all day, but now I think about how to get rid of poverty all day.

9. When I say "whatever", I mean: I'm too lazy to think, and I can't think of anything good. It's up to you, but you must come up with something that I am satisfied with.

10. My girlfriend said on WeChat that she would break up with me. Reason: She said my typing was too ugly!

1 1. As soon as I reviewed it, I found that others had printers, tape recorders and digital cameras on their heads, and mine was a soymilk machine.

12. When my friend came back from a blind date, I said, "How's it going? Is it effective? " He: "Two thirds succeeded." Me: "What do you mean?" The friend replied: "I agree, the introducer agrees, and the other party disagrees!" " "

13. A real brother, no matter how far away he is, no matter how long he hasn't contacted, even if he changed his mobile phone number several times, he can always find you as long as he wants to borrow money.

14. Save three times a day: save some flowers, save some flowers and save some flowers.

15. Go to a friend's house to play. It happened that his 3-year-old son was in bed, riding a car with a pillow and shouting to drive. I teased him: "Handsome boy, where have you been riding?" The child glared at me and said, "Idiot, I am riding a pillow!" " "

16. You have an appointment. She is very nice and gentle to you, and she will do whatever you like. Everything depends on you. It's your mother's fault for waking you up.

17. I was drinking with my friends at the food stall, and suddenly remembered that my daughter-in-law was still hungry at home and slapped myself in an instant. How to distract yourself by drinking? Come on, let's get started!

18. Be kind to your wife, because one day, when you are lying in a hospital bed, it is not necessarily the doctor who dominates your life, nor your brothers who are drinking, nor those fourth graders, but your wife, and only she has the right to sign "Continue to rescue" or "Give up treatment"!

19. I will try my best, or others will say that I am nothing but good-looking.

20. I stayed up late at night to brush my mobile phone and saw a news that girls stayed up late to play with their mobile phones, which led to blindness. After reading this news, I feel glad that I am a boy.

2 1. The girl at the next table suddenly snapped her fingers from the cake and her cheeks blushed instantly. When my boyfriend saw me looking at him with expectant eyes, he immediately understood and called the waiter and said, "waiter!" Why don't we have this table? "

22. reflect on yourself. If you look like a selfie, how can you not have a boyfriend?

23. The three tragedies of the dinner party: the person to be invited didn't come, and the person who came has nothing to do with you, leaving you awake when you check out.

24. I believe there must be someone in this world who doesn't mind all your shortcomings, such as freckles and acne, flat chest and fat legs, rudeness and laziness. This man is your rival in love.