An experienced person's suggestion: how to get out after "losing yourself"

I always believe that people can be changed, and the innate mission is "how to make themselves better" rather than "how to trap themselves".

When people "lose themselves", don't know where to go, don't know how to deal with difficulties, and have feelings of loss and anxiety, we might as well change our thinking: the so-called "no breakthrough" is not a good opportunity to improve ourselves and break through ourselves.

How many times, when I am particularly confused and at a loss, I will strengthen this belief and tell myself, "Now is the darkness before dawn, which is a good opportunity to change myself." Even then, I didn't know what to do, how to do it, and from what to do …

The more you are in the unknown, the more you must have faith. This belief will be fixed in my heart like a "sea needle". Even if it is stormy outside, my heart will not be so flustered, and I will not wander too far on the road and forget the way back.

02

Pain and failure can easily make people lose themselves. For example, lovelorn, divorced, unemployed, despised and scolded by close people, even betrayed, domestic violence, cold violence …

When we lose ourselves, people are prone to entertain foolish ideas and pay too much attention to difficulties and failures, which leads to the constant expansion of emotions such as anxiety, sadness, regret and fear.

People will keep asking why: why did you do this instead of that in the first place? Why am I so incompetent? Why is my luck so bad? Why is everyone so mean to me? Why is my life so miserable and gloomy …

In these "why", people's self-confidence and self-esteem are exhausted, leading to further broken cans, such as:

1) made more wrong decisions in a hurry without thinking clearly;

2) I don't want to work hard under the banner of "I can't do it", "I can't do it well" and "I was born perfect";

3) The more you feel inferior, the more you like comparison, the more you feel inferior and fall into a vicious circle;

4) misinterpret everyone's kindness and help, and feel that everyone looks down on you, waiting to see your jokes.

03

Life can't be smooth sailing, it's inevitable to lose yourself, and it can't be only once.

Just like a bad cold, no matter how well you prevent it, you may be infected. Fortunately, when encountering a cold, people have various ways to relieve the uncomfortable symptoms of the cold. As long as it is handled properly and the right medicine is given, it will be fine in a few days.

In other words, it is important to use the right method. So when you lose yourself, when your mind is full of negative emotions, when you are full of regret for the past and fear and anxiety for the future, what should you do and how to deal with it?

For me, I will use the following two methods, although very simple, but very effective, might as well try.

Method 1: Live in the moment.

Why do you lose yourself? Because I don't care about the present, I don't live in the present, but I am lost in regret for the past and anxiety about the future.

We look back over and over again in our minds and worry about the future, but let the most precious time slip through our fingers and become an annoying past.

In this cycle, we can't catch anything but continue to get lost.

Live in the moment, don't miss what is happening at the moment, otherwise it will appear as if you have never really lived. Seize every minute of this moment and use your present efforts to reverse the past and enrich the future.

Method 2: Thanksgiving.

People who lose themselves often have negative emotions. As long as the negative emotions are reduced, we can get out of the predicament. So how to reduce negative emotions?

Psychological experiments show that people can't have two opposing emotions at the same time, satisfaction and regret, happiness and sadness, calm and anxiety. According to this conclusion, it is easy to suppress and eliminate negative emotions: crowd out negative emotions with positive emotions.

Being grateful and thinking more about what you have can make you more satisfied and happier. Practice gratitude and say "thank you" more every day, and your mind will be more peaceful, offset negative emotions and become more positive and optimistic.

Therefore, losing yourself is not terrible, just like catching a cold. The terrible thing is to immerse yourself in the idea of "I'm hopeless" and let yourself die.