Complete works of happy quotations

1. Plant you in a flowerpot to let you know what vegetables are.

I measured my body without hesitation, just to keep my eyes.

If I win 5 million, I think I'd better donate it to my account.

4. People who are too rational will definitely miss the opportunity to go astray and miss the beautiful scenery along the way brought by mistakes.

5. When you have insomnia, sit in the computer chair and turn around. When you are dizzy, you fall asleep.

6. How many children have been hurt by exams and how many honest children have learned to cheat?

8. You are the first song in my heart, which always makes me thrilling.

9. Money is so cheap now. Anything can buy a lot of money.

10, it doesn't matter if you have a heart.

1 1, don't say sorry to me because we don't matter.

12. In the face of facts, the more developed our imagination is, the more disastrous the consequences will be.

13, I think explaining the joke to people is one of the most lonely things in the world.

14, it's really warm to wear a cotton-padded jacket recently, but it's cold to wear a T-shirt. No one is allowed to wear it.

15, I wanted to let the paper plane take me into your heart, but it crashed halfway.

16, women like bad boys and don't like bad boys.

17, the third party is not the later one, but the one who doesn't love deeply.

18, looking at your rich crow's feet reminds me of a song: the most beautiful is sunset red.

19. When I heard the teacher say that the fine would start again, I knew that his salary had been spent.

20. One person is happy, two people live, and three people live and die.

2 1, I lied to you, but I used my heart.

22. There are no white pies in the sky, only white bricks.

23. The sexiness of the soul is the real sexiness in the bones.

24. I have never been cheated, because no one has ever cheated me.

25. Don't think that you can scamper for a few more days just because you are younger than me. The coffin is filled with dead people, not old people!

26. After today, if we don't meet again, I'm afraid I'll hit you several times every day when I wake up.

27. When you are in love, promise to get married again in your next life; After marriage, I often doubt that I have built a doomed love in my last life.

Super happy shocking couple.

1. On the roadside, a young couple are quarreling. The woman said: You didn't get paid this month. Are you raising a mistress?

Man: I'll give it to you. Don't say you don't want it.

Then the daughter-in-law got angry and shouted, I said no before going to bed. How did you know to climb up? .......

I went home tonight and changed clothes with my husband. I took off my pants and prepared to change into my pajamas. My husband suddenly said, wife, your underwear is on backwards. I said it doesn't matter if no one looks at the old lady when she is married.

My husband looked at me for a long time and said, I remember you were dressed straight when you went out in the morning.

When friends get married, mother-in-law doesn't like daughter-in-law. My husband was embarrassed. His wife asked him to perform in front of her mother-in-law, so he ran to tell his mother that I only loved men before I met her, and she changed me.

So the mother-in-law loved her daughter-in-law infinitely from now on.

4, there is a second-rate wife at home, recently determined to lose weight, resolutely do not eat sweet things.

Yesterday, I saw the unfinished chocolate in the refrigerator, all kinds of saliva, tangled, and finally I had to eat a piece.

As soon as I put it in my mouth, I saw her squatting next to me and said pitifully, Is it delicious? Let me smell your breath!

Today, my wife and I went to the park and saw some peach trees. I said jokingly, I'll go around the peach trees and see if there will be another peach blossom this year.

The wife said: then you are busy first, and I will go there to find an apricot.

6. Pretend you don't know your wife every time you go shopping with her.

Otherwise, I'm afraid others will think: if this young man is not for money, what else can he do?

7. There is a bug flying all the time on the screen. I haven't pressed it for a long time At this time, my wife said, what are you playing? Give me the next one.

I took her mobile phone and turned off my screen, and the bug was successfully attracted to her mobile phone screen.

I handed it to her and said, just one life. Save it for fun.

8. My wife asked me: Why did girls have to bind their feet in the past?

I replied without thinking: I must be afraid that they will go shopping.

That night, I was sent to stay on the sofa.

9. The wife cursed her husband: You are so cowardly! Why didn't you call for help when the gangster robbed your wallet?

The husband said angrily, you idiot, have you forgotten that I still have a big gold tooth in my mouth?

10, a man saw his colleague change his lover's phone message to 10086, and he escaped many times in an emergency, so he followed suit. One night, the man received a phone call from his lover in front of his wife for the first time, deliberately letting her see the caller ID: 10086.

After reading it, the wife immediately grabbed the mobile phone, scolded the spoiled woman on the phone, and then yelled at her husband: You are still stupid when you are old! The Unicom card you used, I called 10086 to visit your relatives.

Very happy singles day. Talk about funny personality.

1. Recruitment: In order to solve the pain of being single on Singles Day, I specially invited a number of girlfriends. Those who perform well can be hired for a long time!

2. It is said that165438+1October 1 1 is to commemorate the great men who contributed to family planning.

It's good to be a bachelor. There is also a festival that most people can't celebrate yet.

There are trees like a row of grass on the horizon and islands like the moon by the river. I hope you will come to see me with a basket of wine? * * * Drunk Singles Day.

5,11.11is my holiday, and Valentine's Day is just the past in my memory.

6. Wear bachelor clothes, drink bachelor water, eat bachelor rice, watch bachelor TV, say bachelor words, take a bachelor bath, and finally fart and sleep bachelor sleep. If you love me, you won't be a bachelor.

7, Singles Day is coming, I wish you a happy holiday, you can cherish this holiday, because this is your last Singles Day, and then Valentine's Day will replace this holiday!

8. Who doesn't want to be an aristocrat shining with the romantic light of medieval Europe? This is an unreachable dream? Don't! If you are still single today, you can indulge in aristocratic addiction generously.

9. It is convenient for a bachelor to come and go when he is alone. Save money and space. Married people are extremely envious, and people with families are not idle. Single people, don't complain, take this opportunity to be happy every day.

10, the flowers are similar every year ... People are the same-still one person. ...

1 1, wife, always fucking cheating; The plane, the old tmd crashed; Life, damn it; It's fucking beautiful to be a handsome bachelor! Happy Singles Day!

12, another text message: come to me silently and marry me, so that neither of us is single and both are happy.

13, you are all to me, don't you know? You are my favorite, you know? You are the pillar of my life, you know? You are my reason to live, you know? I sent it wrong, you know?

14 and 1 single for many years. Do you want a sister Lin to fall from the sky? As long as you call "Sister, Sister, Sister" three times in a row tonight, you will find what you like, very clever!

15. Once upon a time, a naked bachelor wanted to become a nunchaku, so he tried to find another stick and connect it to form a nunchaku. Double-stick double-stick again, nunchakus become three-stick Hehe, I hope all bachelors will become three-section sticks.

16, 1 65438+1 October 1, there are1bachelors, facing1computers, they spent1day.

17, how happy our bachelor is, floating in the flowers, silent but fragrant!

18, bachelor, scientific name single aristocrat, alias bachelor, political outlook is a law-abiding citizen.

19, bachelor is a state, no one can live up to today!

20,165438+1October1,1 1, I am bored when I think about this moment. I'm still not married because I'm not handsome. I really want to have a partner.

2 1. Blame me me for being stupid. Blame me. I was meant to be. After several blind dates, I am still single. I look forward to marrying my relatives and friends as soon as possible, ending my single career and welcoming them to work in Kun.

22, summer or winter, just care about yourself; Singles' Day or Tanabata, just have a good holiday; Have fun, be safe and healthy, and find true love as soon as possible!

23, send blessings on Singles Day, please remember friends. Be sure to eat sweet, sleep sweet, be happy, be safe and healthy. Wish you a happy holiday in advance!

24. Well, that's a good idea-then come to me and I'll marry you. Well, I can't be cheated. I'll come to you? If you don't like me, leave me in a strange place, I have no place to cry! I am not stupid.

25, bachelor music, bachelor music, one person is full, the whole family is not hungry. Bachelor is bitter, bachelor is bitter, it's twenty-five, and no one can mend clothes.

26. Today is Singles Day, and the whole world is celebrating. You're out of organization. You're in tender and hot water. Do you remember being a single friend?

27. 1 1= Naked, the first one 1 1 is naked for men, and the second one 1 1 is naked for women, so if you want to be naked as soon as possible, you need1/kloc-0.

28. I almost forgot what day it is today. If I hadn't thought of you, I wouldn't have noticed. Day by day, today is your good day. You must not forget that today is your holiday. I wish you a happy Singles Day!

29, sample! Walking with Langjiu, singing folk songs and walking by the water; Comb the head shape of the lovelorn and walk with affectionate steps; Open your broken eyes and look for the rain and dew of love everywhere. You are so cool!

30. Singles Day is here. Birds fall in love, ants live together, flies get pregnant, mosquitoes miscarry, butterflies divorce, caterpillars remarry and frogs have children. What are you waiting for?

3 1, I thought this year was over, but I didn't expect to be alone.

32. When will there be a bachelor? Ask heaven for wine. I wonder if there are any immortals in the sky. How many people are single? I want to ride home in the wind, afraid that I am still single, and the sky is lonely. Why should I become an immortal?

33. Appreciate the fish swimming in pairs, watch butterflies and butterflies love flowers flying, and feel sorry for themselves alone. Friends are laughing and laughing, and relatives are warm-hearted. Love won't make you lonely. Happy Singles Day!

34. Winter is terrible, not as bleak and terrible as loneliness; Loneliness is terrible, not as terrible as being single for decades; Being single for decades is terrible. It will be even worse to receive this news next year. Happy Singles Day!

35. Singles Day is another year. Every time I miss spring, my friends comfort me and fight for beer, and my parents and relatives are busy matchmaking. Don't be afraid to leave my room empty this year. I will support you in the future!

36. Wear bachelor clothes, drink bachelor water, eat bachelor rice, watch bachelor TV, talk bachelor talk, take a bachelor bath, and finally fart and sleep bachelor sleep. If you love me, you won't be a bachelor.

37. Everyone is single, and no one wants the beauty in the world! Hold on! Victory belongs to us!

Post a happy saying _ Ouch, it's very deep.

1, come in a hurry, go in a hurry, it is best not to hurry, but to relax.

You won't know why the flowers are so red unless you make a peach blossom all over your face.

3. It's a flash in the pan. What can I do for you?

There is no room for a grain of sand in the eye, but it can accommodate the eyes of contact.

5, the goods have a shelf life, and people are tired of watching them. How long can you be awesome in my heart?

6. This year, no matter Sohu or sogou, the cats said they didn't understand.

7. One night, you said I was your sun, but when you said that, the sun didn't exist.

8. When I have money, I'll take a hundred dollars to the bank and change them into coins, and I'll see who hits whom.

9. I must appear in your household registration book. I can't be your wife or your little mother.

10, money is nothing but paper. Spending is money. If you burn it, it is paper money.

1 1, I suffer from two things every day: I don't want to sleep at night and I don't want to think in the morning.

12, time is the best teacher, but unfortunately-in the end, he killed all the students.

13, it rained twice this week, the first time for three days and the second time for four days.

14, mom doesn't have to worry about my study anymore. Take a lighter, where she won't light it.

15, on the road of love, I always stop and go, and my mother says I can't walk.

16, three bottles of women: one in youth, one in middle age and one in old age.

17, I have been imitating others, but looking back, I found that I have surpassed everyone.

18, if having money is a mistake, I hope I can keep making mistakes.

19, I stood in your city hall and shouted: Oh, it's so deep!

20. When I die, Tencent can stop camp for me for one day.

2 1, there is always a virus in my head. If I have nothing to do, I will treat it as antivirus.

22. Mona Lisa smiled because she saw Da Vinci cry.

I didn't leave you because I didn't love you. Because, I feel that you don't care about me.

24, you said that walking together is fate. Going together is happiness.

25. You can't get everything unless you give up.

If I die, don't forget to install an air conditioner for my coffin, Gree's.

27. I want to spread soy sauce all over the world and make others jealous.

28. Life is like making a phone call. Either you hang up first, or I hang up first.

29. If you gain weight, you will be unhappy. Eat snacks if you are unhappy. If you eat snacks, you will gain weight.

30. Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is getting married. Please broadcast later.

3 1, a buddy told me that he gives out bottles every day. It's all "one more bottle"

32. If only the apple tree could really produce an iphone!

33. It is said that women are fickle. It turns out that men are chameleons.