What are some funny campus novels?

The first one

Name

When the school started to roll call, a class teacher came up with an original idea and said to the students: "I will read the student number, you can tell me your name. This way we all know each other, okay?"

"No. 001!"

"Teacher, my surname is Jiao," the teacher said a little confused. "Who got this for you?"

"My dad." "What does your dad do?"

"Open a breeding pig factory!"

"No. 002!"

A girl stood up: "Teacher, my surname is Zhang, and my name is Zhang Dekai."

"No. 003!"

"Teacher, I am Zhang Dekai's twin brother. My name is Zhang Bukai." "Who gave you this name?"

"It's my dad. He sells pliers." The teacher hurried Take a drink of water.

"No. 004!"

"Report to the teacher, my surname is Ou (the character is pronounced "Ou") and my name is Ou Ye (oh yeah). This is the name given to me by my mother. She said that she had just played a computer game when she gave birth to me. "The teacher felt a little uncomfortable.

"No. 005!"

"Report to teacher, Ganniang!" "Why are you swearing?!"

"No! Teacher, I My surname is Gan, my name is Ganniang, and my father is a wine maker." The teacher took a pill.

No. 006! ”

“Teacher, my surname is Gou, and my name is Goubuli. ”

“Your father runs a bun shop, right? ! ”

“Teacher, you are so smart! "The teacher is already a little unsteady.

"No. 007! ”

“My surname is Kuai (pronounce it quickly and pronounce it in the third tone.) My name is Kuai Huo. ”

“Don’t tell me that your dad runs a warehouse. "

"Teacher, you are so old-fashioned, my dad is a pimp. " Blood oozed from the corners of the teacher's mouth.

"No. 008! ”

“Teacher, go to hell!” " "What? What did you say? ! "

"I mean my surname is Ni, and my name is Ni going to the temple. My mother is a Buddhist. My name is interesting, right? ”

“Interesting, interesting. "The teacher was about to cry.

"No. 009! ”

“Teacher, I’ll talk about it next time. "Why do you have to say it next time? You say it now!" "

"No! Teacher, my surname is Xia, and my name is Xia Huishuo. My father is a storyteller. "The teacher is already feeling dizzy.

"No. 010! ”

“Teacher, my surname is Gao, and my name is Gao Wan. "

"My surname is Mei, and my name is Mei Liangliang. ”

“My surname is Wu, and my name is Wu Qing. "

"My surname is Mao, and my name is Mao Rongrong. ".........

The teacher looked up to the sky and roared: "Oh my god, what kind of students did I meet! "The teacher spurted blood from his mouth and fell to the ground.

Second:

In high school, the whole school must wear uniforms, and there is a repeat student who never wears them. What teachers care about this? Squatting at the door every day to check. One day, the teacher saw this classmate not wearing a school uniform and asked him why he was not wearing one. The classmate was furious and said: My mother is not dead, why do I need to wear a mourning uniform? Three:

An art teacher is somewhat famous. There was a large report in a newspaper with photos, so he boasted in class: "Recently, my classmates always tell me, Teacher, you are really good. It was published in the newspaper and the photo was published..." A student said: "Is there a missing person notice? "From then on, the art teacher refused to let the student take art class.

Fourth:

In the Chinese class, the teacher called a sleeping classmate to answer a question, but the classmate said nothing in a daze. No. The teacher said helplessly: "Can you do it?" Even if you don’t make a sound! The classmate said: "Squeak -." "The teacher sweated.

Fifth:

When I was in high school, it was almost time to take the exam. One day in geography class, the teacher reported a place name on the top and asked us to answer the local name below. Minerals produced.

After talking about many places, the teacher suddenly asked: "What is produced in Jiangnan?" All the boys in the class answered in unison: "Beauties are produced in Jiangnan!"

Sixth:

Junior high school At that time, once the biology teacher was talking about the ecological environment on the African grasslands. No one in the class listened, so he got angry and said: "You all look at me! If you don't look at me, how do you know what an African wild cat looks like!"

Seventh:

Once in a high-level mathematics class, the teacher asked one of my brothers: "Calculus is a very useful subject. What is our goal in learning calculus?" That brother was deserting at the time. , and without thinking loudly said: "There are no cavities!" The whole class burst into laughter.

Eighth:

In the biology class, the teacher said: "Actually, weasels do not eat chickens. Scientists have done an experiment and once locked up a chicken and a weasel. Together, guess what happened the next day?" The classmate interrupted: "The chicken is pregnant?"

Ninth: In the third year of high school, the geometry teacher is an old lady. Bragging is very annoying. One day in class, I said: "I am very valued in the Municipal Education Bureau. They always invite me to study problems together, and every time I am picked up and dropped off by car." I accidentally asked: "Three-wheelers?" "As a result, he was banned from geometry class for a week.

Tenth:

When I was in high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her fifties) thought some of us boys were disobedient, so she yelled: "What are you thinking? ?" I was confused at the time, and somehow I said, "I miss you!" There was silence in the classroom for a while, but a pair of frightened eyes were looking at me. The teacher stayed for a while, then pointed at me and yelled: "You are just a stinky hooligan!" What an injustice!

Eleventh:

When I was in high school, I took a labor class for the first time. The teacher was an old man. He introduced himself: "My name is Wu Shushan." I suddenly had an inspiration. He immediately continued: "Looking northwest to Chang'an, there are countless mountains." The whole class burst into laughter, and the teacher's face turned pale. Then I was punished to do heavy work.

How about it? Remember to give me extra points!