Laugh at the humorous joke of "face pain"

Laugh at the humorous joke of "face pain"

1. If a woman is a handful of sand, how can we keep her from slipping through our fingers?

I'm telling you: get her wet? .

2. Before getting married, a man found a woman with a big ass and said that he could have children. Now women find a man with a big ass before they get married, saying that he has strong recoil. Seconds understand the wall!

3. What's the use of women and men together? There is a bird to use. What's the use of women with women? It's no use. What's the use of men being with men? What's the use?

4. If Hillary is elected, she will be the only woman in the world who has served as both the President of the United States.

Clinton is the longest-serving president of the United States.

5. female a:? Men are not attractive until they are 30 years old! ?

Woman b:? Did you say seconds or minutes! ?

6. One of the sisters in the sisterhood said: If only I could sell kisses and earn a lot of money without going to work.

Sisters don't understand: Even if it can be sold, how much can a kiss give you?

She:? How much you pay depends on where you kiss! ?

. . .

7. On the bus, I stood next to a couple. The girl is wearing a short skirt and has a good figure. I heard them chatting in a low voice. The girl said: I went out in a hurry today and forgot to wear underwear. ?

Hearing this, I threw down a dollar and squatted down to pick it up.

An uncle next to me pulled me to his seat and said, let me help you pick it up. ?

Uncle Wocao is really a fucking living Lei Feng! ! !

8.m: If you are ugly, I would like to talk to you about life and ideals.

W: What about now?

Man: I just want to sleep with you!

9. My stupid boyfriend always farts after eating badly these days. I satirized him: if you can't walk, jump and talk, I almost thought my inflatable doll was missing. ?

These idiots told me with common sense: there is no male version of inflatable dolls! ! !

10, ordered a stir-fried green beans at noon. Halfway through the meal, I found a big carnivore next to a bean. I subconsciously picked it up and watched it. My girlfriend thinks I'm feeding her, so catch it with her mouth. It's delicious.

? Honey, that's very kind of you! ? She said.

1 1, female: Honey, what would you do if we broke up?

M: Mm-hmm. . . Baby, I will find my ex-girlfriend.

Woman (half angry): You have an ex-girlfriend?

Man: Baby, let me explain. . .

Woman (double anger): Explain to your ex-girlfriend!

M: I broke up. Aren't you my ex-girlfriend

12, on the phone, the male ticket asked: What are you doing?

Me: Eat.

These idiots actually said: pay attention to safety.

Me: Annie, are you saying that I will choke to death when I eat? !

13, I heard that soaking feet with salt water can strengthen the body. I came home at night and put two spoonfuls of salt in my foot bath. I don't know if it's suitable. I took two breaths through my mouth and felt weak. I added a few spoonfuls of salt to my mouth and tasted it. Well, it tastes ok this time.

14, eating in a restaurant, I saw a beautiful woman not far from the other side, my favorite type, and I was thinking about how to strike up a conversation. By this time, the beauty had finished eating, got up and walked out. I haven't thought about it yet and I am at a loss. Just when the beautiful woman came to me, I couldn't help but stretch out my leg and trip her up. . .

15, I dreamed of losing 50 yuan last night, but fortunately I picked it up again during my nap today. I dare not sleep tonight. If you lose it again, you may not be so lucky to find it again.

16, when your girlfriend quarreled, she said to you: Do whatever you want. ? Be careful at this time. Nine times out of ten, she is going to break up with you, so don't laugh.

17, watching a person spit, you will feel sick, watching a mountain spit, you will be happy:? Wow, what a beautiful waterfall! ?

18, it's raining now. Grab an umbrella from the office, it will have a strong professional imprint. However, compared with the resident era, it is much lower-key. Before, I supported you, okay? Hemorrhoid cream? Change an umbrella occasionally? Jieeryin? Hold on. In the storm, it's called a cool, and the rate of turning around is very high.

19, my friends call me diaosi, hehe. They stopped calling me diaosi after I said my salary. Human nature! Now they call me poor diaosi. . .

20. A modern poem "The Wind": It's so big/it blows away my hair/the gold chain is also hitting my double chin.

2 1. Yesterday, I dreamed that the female leader called me to her office, and then she kept me in the dark. She really called me to the office this morning, just like the beginning of the dream, and then I was expelled from the fucking school. . .

I found myself paralyzed. I tried to tell myself that I had to go to work today, but my body just didn't respond.

23, I am not good! ? Hawking

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