Humorous stories and ancient and modern jokes about language

"What's the feeling of loving someone? It's like you suddenly have a weakness and armor." Do you know the best English translation of this sentence - What's the feeling of loving someone? Like a dog, like a god.

The so-called mathematics: class content: 1 apple plus 1 apple is equal to two apples; homework content: Xiao Ming has four apples. He ate one himself and gave one to his friend. How many more are there? ;Exam content: You have an apple, and if you are given another apple, please calculate the mass of the sun.

A netizen and a friend found that their cat was missing after a party at home. It turned out that he was stuck in the wall because his face was too big hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

The young man wanted to marry the girl, but the girl's father blocked it in every possible way, "Why don't you let your daughter marry me?" "Because no one else can get what I can't get." The daughter next to her was so frightened that she covered her heart: "It turns out Dad has always been mean to me..." Before he could finish his words, his father interrupted angrily: "Shut up, you bitch! You are thinking too much!"

The child asked her mother to tell her a story again. sleep. The mother began to tell: "Once upon a time there was a mountain, there was a temple at the foot of the mountain, and there was an old monk in the temple..." The child yelled: "No, no, no! I want to hear the story of Ultraman and the monsters!" The mother gritted her teeth and calmed down. : "Once upon a time, there was Ultraman, and there was a monster under Ultraman, and among the monsters was their child..." The child listened to his favorite story and began to fall asleep with a smile.

“I seem to have lost weight” is the biggest hallucination in life, and the second biggest hallucination is “the remaining money should be able to be used until the end of the month”...

The shy boy looked at the girl silently almost every day. The attentive girl noticed the boy who was looking at her silently, so she encouraged the boy with her eyes. The encouraged boy finally plucked up the courage: "Well, can I ask you something? "Is it something?" "You ask?" the girl continued to encourage the boy. "Do you have a boyfriend?" the boy said shyly. "No!" "Hahahahahahahahahaha I do!"

I finally understand why I used to be able to take more than a dozen classes a day for granted, but now I am exhausted after just a few classes a day. Because the classroom used to be like half a home, we always said that my water bottle is in the classroom, my clothes are in the classroom, my notebook is in the classroom, and my mobile phone is in the classroom. Now, the word "go back to class" is almost never used anymore, but has become "go to class". What is lost is probably not the motivation to study, but the sense of belonging to half of the family.

A teacher said: This sentence from the era of naked marriage: I have no car, no money, no house, no diamond ring, but I have a heart to accompany you until you grow old. The degree of unreliability is similar to: Although I didn't read, didn't go to class, didn't review, and didn't do the questions, I had the determination not to fail the exam. The biggest misunderstanding about love is that it is omnipotent. ! !

Don’t think I am just a sheep, the green grass becomes more fragrant because of me, the sky becomes bluer because of me, and the white clouds become softer because of me.