Give me some jokes to play tricks on others.

1, the second child and the third child quarreled just after playing a game of chess. As soon as I saw the quarrel, I flew over and asked, "Who won?" The second said he won, and the third said he won. The second can speak better. In less than three seconds, I thought the second child won. The old three were furious and shouted for a long time: "Your second child, the tortoise won the tortoise!" " "

During the summer vacation, our college held a friendship competition with French students. I was running with the ball when a French brother put me there without saying anything. Gorman of France immediately ran over and pulled me up and said, "I'm sorry!" " On impulse, I said, "Nothing, nothing." Shit, I forgot. It's okay!

One of my classmates is waiting for someone at the railway station. A beggar saw my classmate carrying a bag of apples and asked him for apples. My classmate gave him one. After a while, the little beggar brought another little beggar, and my classmate reluctantly gave them one each. This is a great event. After a while, the little beggar brought a large group of little beggars. My classmate was furious and said to the little beggar, "You are really a man. I will give you one and bring a group of people. "

I found a substitute for CET-4. The main invigilator wants to take him away. On striking the table, the brother pointed to the nose of the main invigilator and shouted, "Do you know who I am?" The chief invigilator was puzzled at that time (I must be thinking, is this the headmaster's son? ), looked at it and shook his head. This door elder brother looked at the invigilator and didn't know him. Without saying anything, he took the admission ticket and jumped out of the window with a whoosh.

5, now in class, as long as someone helps you answer, it's okay. Our dormitory has a rotation system, so it's my turn to take math classes today. The teacher asked the old four to stand up and answer the question. I immediately stood up and said, "I don't know." This is our unified way of answering questions, and we can answer what we know truthfully. Everything happens when you are unlucky. The teacher asked me to sit down and called my name at once. I had to stand up and say, "Teacher, he didn't come. He is sleeping in the dormitory. "

6. After graduating from art education, I went to a private middle school as a teacher and served as a trainee head teacher of a class. The school stipulates that the head teacher should make rounds at night. As a female teacher, she has to abide by the school rules. One day in summer, when the lights were about to go out, I saw a boy's dormitory still ringing loudly. I rushed over in anger. Just entering the door, several little monkeys were wearing colorful trouser forks. When they saw me, they quickly hid. I saw it, waved and said, "Never mind, Teacher V has never seen anything!" " Hearing this, the little monkeys nodded and said, "So Mr. V has seen everything?" I blushed and fell down!

7. Bought a puppy from the lower berth, lively and lovely, named Abu. For a time, the lower berth was so bad that Abu had to starve. Seeing the dog Abu getting thinner, the lower berth came up with a clever plan. The dog hung a sign around his neck and put it at the door of the boys' dormitory, which read: Because I am short of money, Abu will stay here for one night, and the requirements are not high, and leftovers can be used. The next day, Abu really came back from a full meal, and the sign was changed to: This dormitory can only stay for one night. I hope that the beautiful women will take into account Abu's feelings when buying lipstick again. Soon after, the lower berth took Abu out to bask in the sun. When Abu saw the boys, he immediately ran to join them and left his master there alone! When I came back from the lower berth, my heart was broken. I beat the dog and sighed, "You are really nothing. You've only eaten one meal and you've already gone bad! " [Cold death: the bad habit of watching the teacher unknown]

Wang and Sun in our dormitory are so lazy that they don't even bother to wash their feet. Every night, they wait for others to wash their faces and bring their used face wash water to wash their feet.

One night, when Wang came back from self-study next night, he found that the water in a brother's basin was still hot, thinking it was the face washing water that others had just used. So Wang immediately took off his shoes, put his feet in and washed them beautifully. After a while, Sun came back and saw Wang washing his feet. He said, "Shit, this is hot water for fat people. I just washed my feet with it and you washed your feet again. It' s really worse than a beast! " ! "As soon as the voice fell, the fat man who ran back from the outside shouted," TMD, which one took all the hot water for washing my underwear? " Sun Luo and Wang turned over.

9. I don't know when a beautiful girl moved upstairs from our dormitory. This beautiful girl speaks Shaanxi dialect, which is very provocative. She dared to strike up a conversation with us and made the boys in the whole building very happy. Every night after the evening self-study, groups of "hungry wolves" rushed back, then opened the window and shouted, "Baby! Sister! A-mei! " When we shout like this, pretty girls often respond a few times from time to time, which makes everyone very interested. One night, someone downstairs shouted, "An Hong, An Hong, I miss you!" " The beautiful girl was awakened. I thought she would be spoiled for a while, but I didn't expect her to scold angrily in Shaanxi dialect: "I miss your mother's head so much, I can't sleep!" " "

10 One day, my roommate Qi was drunk and sober, because he climbed to the upper berth alone at least. I was lying on the upper bunk at seven o'clock, squinting, suddenly standing up, pulling the light bulb and shouting, "I picked the moon!" " When a classmate saw this, he pointed to the ceiling and asked solemnly, "What is this?" Seven o replied, "what a fucking fool! I don't even know the stars. Can't you see there are so many stars? ""Everyone is looking for the stars all over the world with wide eyes. They didn't find them, but they found a group of flies crawling on the ceiling and sleeping soundly.