Recommended jokes

1. A gecko got lost in front of a securities company. At this time, a crocodile crawled over and planned to eat it. In desperation, the little gecko stepped forward and hugged the crocodile's leg, shouting loudly: "Mom!" The crocodile was stunned and immediately burst into tears: "Son, you have become so thin after just half a month of stock trading. ? ”

2. A lumberjack applied for a job

Foreman: Go try it in the woods ahead... See how many trees you can cut in one minute... .

A minute later....

Foreman: Wow....20 trees in one minute....That’s amazing....Where were you before? Working?

Worker: Sahara Forest...

Foreman: Never heard of it...I only heard of Sahara Desert...

Worker: Yes...I changed my name later

3. A certain man was so scared that he took a plane for the first time and did not dare to open his eyes. After 15 minutes, he opened his eyes and looked out the window. , shouted: "Oh, it's flying so high, people are like ants!" The neighbor said: "That's an ant, the plane hasn't taken off yet."

4. Xiao Ming: "Wow, you Why is your face so swollen?"

Xiao Le: "Oh, I was bitten by a mosquito when I was rowing with my father yesterday."

Xiao Ming: "It's swollen." It was so severe, you must have been stung by it for a long time, right?”

Xiao Le: “As soon as it landed on my face, my father beat me to death with a paddle.”

Xiao Ming: "..."

4. ...After doing homework for a long time, he turned on the radio and a gentle voice came out: "...if the skin color Pink, and the hair on the face is fine and soft, it means you are very healthy..."

Hearing this, I couldn't help but touch my face, look in the mirror, and smile again, I looked healthy and cute.

At this time, the announcer said again: "Okay, listeners, this is the end of our "Pig Raising Knowledge Lecture"..."

5. There is a The prince was cursed and could only speak one word in a year, but he liked a princess very much, so he endured five years without speaking. After saving five words, he came to the princess and said: "Please marry me!" The princess was stunned. Said: "What? Didn't hear clearly..."

6. After the company got off work, several computers gathered together to play Landlord, and they also played at the water fountain. He loses every time but still insists on participating every day. Sofa didn't understand very well and asked the chair: Why are you still fighting so hard when the water dispenser loses every day? The chair said, "Asking this kind of question, do you have water in your head?

7. A man was about to starve to death in the desert, when he picked up the magic lamp. Magic lamp: "I can only To fulfill your wish, tell me quickly! I'm in a hurry." Person: "I want a wife..." The magic lamp immediately transformed into a beautiful woman, and then said disdainfully: "I'm almost starving to death and I'm still greedy for beauty! sad! "After saying that, he disappeared. Person: "...cake. ”

8 A little tiger came over slowly and asked the little squirrel with a red face: “Excuse me, can I eat you?” "

The little squirrel thought this question was quite funny and said: "Is this your first time eating animals? "

The little tiger was even more embarrassed and said, "Yes, mother is not at home." ”

The little squirrel asked curiously: “Then what did you eat before?” "

"..."

"What? Speak louder, I can't hear you. ”

“Eating milk! "After saying that, the little tiger's face turned even redder.

9..A, B, and C went on a trip together, and A caught a cold...

At night, everyone slept in the same bed. In the middle of the night...A snorted heavily, and B and B's face was covered with A's snot crystals. B and C: Let us know next time...

After half an hour, A : Attention...

Hearing this, B and B quickly got into the quilt and made sure there was no connection with the outside world... Then A farted.

10. A little girl called. I went to the radio station to ask for a song for my mother.

Host: Why do I want to ask for a song for my mother?

The little girl: My mother works very hard every day and can’t have a good rest on Sundays. She wanted to find various exercise books for me.

The host was very moved and said that she was very sensible and a good mother's child.

So she asked what song she wanted.

< p>Little girl: Why do women embarrass women