New Sharing of Ren Lei's Classic Funny Quotations in September

1, rich second generation, is the second generation with heavy debts.

2, people are iron, fans are steel, don't panic for a day!

It is forbidden to urinate here, and tools will be confiscated.

It is said that you look like Sister Rong. In fact, your heart is Princess Zhu Huan.

What matters these days is speed, otherwise you can't catch up with the heat when eating shit.

6, don't worry about eating, don't worry about wearing, sleep and perm.

7, listening to constipation, listening to the top three times, listening to high-calcium fruits, but also want to listen.

8. Punk is only my superficial work, and my real identity is hooligan.

9. If there are ghosts in the world, marry me.

10, friendly, I admire your cheekiness. I have never seen such a terrible woman as you in my life.

1 1. If you want to cry, I can hold you and make you cry loudly. You can also wipe your tears and nose with my clothes.

12, if you knew me before, you may forgive me now!

13, don't kill me, I still have my acceptance speech.

15, foxes are neither sexy nor coquettish.

16, since ancient times, no one has died, and whoever dies early will die late.

17. A tailor who doesn't want to be a chef is not a good blacksmith.

18, the highest level of eating fried rice with eggs is: return it to your wife after eating.

19, I like many people, but there is only one love. No matter how many people you like and how many times you have been in love, there is only one person in the end.

20. I'm not fragrant, I'm just dichlorvos. Do you want to hold me in your hand?

2 1, you take your sunny road, and I'll take my underground road.

22. The subscriber you dialed is playing with a monster.

23. If I can't buy a mobile phone, I will run to you with my mobile phone …

24, good fire waste charcoal, good women waste sweat,

25. The first kiss was given to the earth, and so was the youth.

I remember you singing with fear.

27, ask what is in the world, everything has its vanquisher! ! !

Yesterday, a rogue woman stared at me, and I blushed for the first time since I became a rogue.

29. Gong Linna's heartbreaking voice. I wonder if she killed a pig in her last life?

30. Women like to hear men say that another woman is ugly, and men like to hear women say that another man has failed.

Inspirational quotations in September

1. Running for the goal is a state, trying to challenge the limit is a kind of happiness, and smiling beyond suffering is a kind of happiness.

For climbers, it is not a pity to lose the footprints of the past, but it is dangerous to lose the direction of the past.

Strugglers have driven their careers to the other side of the ideal in the river where sweat gathers.

4. Those who sow with tears will surely reap with a smile.

A good life never fears trouble. Only those who are not afraid of trouble can finally overcome the triviality of life and become the masters of life.

6. Many failures are not because of limited ability, but because of not sticking to the end.

7. Opportunities won't come to you on your own initiative, so you must show them yourself.

8. The rudder of fate is struggle. Don't have any illusions, don't give up an opportunity, and don't stop working hard for a day.

9. Today will be cruel, tomorrow will be more cruel, and the day after tomorrow will be beautiful, but most people will die tomorrow night.

10. Difficulties and setbacks are not terrible. What is terrible is the loss of ambition and courage.

1 1. Busy bees have no time to talk in front of people.

12. You chase after me, strive for the first place, and shed blood and sweat without regret.

13. Diligence is the password of your life, and you can translate a magnificent epic.

14. Please treat hard work as a habit, not a three-minute fever. Persistence is the way to success, and every harvest you admire is hard work!

15. Let's turn our worries into thinking and planning in advance!

16. The more setbacks in life, the more insights in life; One more fall and one more struggle in life.

17. Any restriction starts from your heart.

18. If you are afraid of the ups and downs of the rocks ahead, life will always be a stagnant pool.

19. Life is not an arrangement, but a pursuit. The meaning of life may never have an answer, but we should enjoy this life without an answer.

20. There is only one life, either you create it or you create it. If you don't want to do it, try to achieve it.

2 1. A person is not afraid to regret what he has done in the future, but is afraid to regret what he has not done.

22. As long as you set a goal and move forward step by step, life may turn over at any time. It's never too late to change.

Other interesting quotations from Ren Lei.

Know you well? Just play a video if it's okay. Think of it as your TV, and it will pop up when you press it.

Work, take a step back and broaden the horizon; Love, take a step back and broaden the horizon.

The difficulty of marriage is that we fall in love with each other's advantages, but live with her shortcomings.

Tonight, let's use the cold war to keep warm!

If you have a doormat face, don't step on it.

Mom said that it is best not to miss two things in life: the last bus home and the person who loves you deeply.

Don't say that women are too realistic if men don't have skills, and don't say that men are too playboy if women don't have strength.

Try not to make any noise if you can.

Did you get vomited three times after you were born, but only got caught twice?

Handsome is useless! Finally, I was eaten by a chess piece!

Who can be as loyal to love as to RMB?

No tiger died in Pingyang, until I make a comeback.

Be gentle with people and things. Don't lose your temper at will. Nobody owes you anything.

The person I love is taken. People who love me are terrible.

Have what you like, don't be afraid of the result.

It's very painful now, but when you look back later, you will find that it's actually nothing.

Choosing a good man needs methods, just learn to say no, and then you can master it!

Some people are easily erased by time. Like dust.

It is not so much that others make you suffer, but that you are not cultivated enough.

There is an abyss lurking in her heart, and she can't make a sound when dropping a boulder.

The biggest difference between doing and not doing is that the latter has the right to comment on the former!

We are a little different: she wants me to turn dirt into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dirt.

I am small-minded, but I don't lack it. I have a good temper, but not without it!

Some people, when making masks, look much better than real people.

Cherish life-if God keeps you alive, you must have a plan.

There are two tragedies in life: despair and complacency.

Classic shocking jokes of funny quotations

The centipede was bitten by a snake, so it must be amputated to prevent the spread of virus liquid! The centipede thought: fortunately, I have many legs ~! ! The doctor consoled, relax, brother, and you will be an earthworm in the future. ...

A farmer will kill the chicken tomorrow, and feed it at night, saying, eat quickly, this is your last meal! The next day, I saw the chicken lying down, leaving a suicide note: I have taken rat poison, you don't want to eat me. I'm not fucking easy to mess with ~

A group of ants climbed up the elephant's back, but were knocked down by the earthquake. Only one ant sticks to the elephant's neck. The ant below shouted: strangle him, strangle him, demo, it's backwards!

Many cocks chased a hen, and the hen was moved when she saw that one of the cocks bowed his head and said nothing. Wedding night, hen: You are so cool. Why didn't you scream? Rooster: I drank too much that day ... I was afraid of vomiting.

Xiao Lv asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day? The old donkey sighed: We can't compete with others. We eat by running errands, while others eat by their breasts!

A shop keeps a parrot. When the customer came in, he said welcome. A girl didn't believe it. She left six times. The parrot said it six times in a row. The seventh time, the parrot said angrily, Boss, someone is playing with your bird!

The child stole the parrot kept in the brothel. As soon as he entered the door, the parrot called, Move! Seeing his mother, he shouted: The boss has changed, too! Seeing his sister, he shouted, Miss has changed! Seeing his father, he shouted, I'm still an old customer!

A little dog climbed onto your dining table and crawled towards a roast chicken. You said angrily, if you dare to do anything to that roast chicken, I will dare to do anything to you. The dog licked the chicken's ass and you fainted. The dog said happily, let's see who is tough.

When you were walking on the road, a bitch jumped on you, bit off a piece of meat from your foot and swallowed it quickly. When you put out your foot to kick it, the dog said with tears: You fight, anyway, I already have your flesh and blood in my stomach!

Mike: Sorry, teacher, I'm late. I dreamed of a football match. Teacher: Then why did it make you late? Mike: Because the two teams were tied, they played overtime.

The son takes his girlfriend home: Mom, she is a very good girl. She can wash clothes, cook, cook and do housework. Mother: Well, I agree to hire her and let her come every Tuesday and Thursday.

Secretary: Are you busy during my vacation? Colleague: Nothing. Everyone shared your work. I read the newspaper, Xiao Zhang chatted on the phone, and Xiao Liu flirted with the boss.

One day, the wife of a gentleman gave birth to a baby. He hurried to visit the hospital. After waiting for n hours, there was crying in the delivery room. He shouted happily, I'm dad! At this time, the doctor came out with a sad face and told him that the child was born deformed. A gentleman stayed there and didn't understand why. Suddenly, his wife's crying came from the delivery room: it was all because of the murder that day. If you don't reply, you will get what you deserve.

Father: "Did I put the letter I asked you to bring in the report box this morning?" Son: "Report? Oh, yes, you forgot to write your name, or I added it! "

At the military meeting of a small country, one person: Iraq is at war, and we should send them a tank. Second person: We should send them two tanks. Third person: Why not give them all three cars?

A group of people went camping at the seaside. A person has been eating fried soybeans on the road. Everyone was afraid that his fart would "kill him all his life" and advised him not to eat any more. He said, "You will camp later, and I will fry fish in the sea!" " Honey, I miss you again. My love for you is increasing sharply every day, because someone told me that "pork has gone up in price and can be sold at a good price!" " "

The headmaster recognized one of his former students: Are you John? "Yes, headmaster." "You see, I never forget the students' names. What are you doing now? " "Teaching under you"

When the family goes to the theatre, they all buy tickets upstairs, but the son always looks down on the railing. Father said to mother, don't let him fall, the first-class ticket is downstairs, and it will be troublesome to make up the ticket if it falls.

The girl in the church said to an old man, please donate some money for God. The old man waved his hand: Don't bother you. I believe I will meet God before you, and then I will give him the money directly.

Patient: Doctor, are you sure I have pneumonia? Sometimes, doctors are treating pneumonia, but patients die of other diseases. The doctor smiled: When I was treating pneumonia, the patient died of pneumonia.

The shop sells plaid pajamas with numbers. Clinton was very surprised. The salesman explained: If a flea bites you at night, you can say to your lover, "Levin, please scratch in the box 17."

Morrison bought a new pair of shoes, but she didn't wear them. A week later, the wife asked, "Why don't you wear those shoes?" "You can wear it tomorrow. When I bought it, the salesman said that the shoes would pinch a little in the first week. "