How funny! Zhu Bajie’s Internet Funny Love Letter

Speaking of the mighty Tianpeng Marshal Zhu Bajie, everyone must be familiar with it! Recently, news came out: Taibaijinxing has built a website in the heaven, which seems to be called Love Letter Internet Cafe! As the famous Tianpeng Marshal, he often went in and walked around. Over time, he became familiar with the network and the Internet.

One day, Bajie was chatting on a chat software and suddenly found a beautiful woman named Fairy Chang'e. After investigation, it was found that this person was the beauty Chang'e in Lengyue Palace. Bajie felt like a fish in water at this time. Soon they launched an offensive against Chang'e and sent a message to Chang'e. But the good times did not last long. His actions were soon discovered by Bamboo Taibai Jinxing, and he reported it to the Jade Emperor. In anger, the Jade Emperor expelled Bajie from heaven and fell into the mortal world...

< p> But Bajie, who fell into the mortal world, still did not want to repent, and actually fell in love with Magnolia of Gao Laozhuang, and developed into a close relationship with them. Later, after being enlightened by the Bodhisattva, he was forced to join the Tang Monk to respond to the Central Western Revolution development call and contribute to the development of the western region. Because Bajie made mistakes again and again, Tang Seng sent him to the Huoyan Mountain Labor Camp to do farm work and endure hard labor... But Bajie still did not forget his former lover Yulan, and sent a letter to Yulan using Yi Meier. A touching love letter:

How are you in Gaolaozhuang? I am writing to you using EMALL now. I am still a novice and my writing is not good. I hope my Magnolia can give me some advice!

Now I am in the Flame Mountain Prison. well! Thinking back to a month ago, I was a high-ranking provincial and ministerial-level cadre, and you were the mainstay of the charming Gaolaozhuang nightclub. At that time, we were like glue and sang every night; but now, I am behind bars. Thinking of this, I can't help but sigh!

This is the first letter I wrote after being imprisoned. Looking back on the past! :(, those were really sad days. At that time, we held hands and looked at each other with tears in our eyes, and I said to you: I left gently, just as I came gently, I waved my hands gently, and did not take you away. At this moment, a cloud was suddenly interrupted by a loud roar from the escorting guards (the leader was Tang Seng, and the other two were Sun Wukong and Sha Seng). In the midst of a life-and-death decision, I finally left heartbroken

On this special business trip to the west, I suffered a lot on the road. Tang Seng claimed that he was responding to the call for the development of the central and western regions and took the initiative to escort me to the Huoyanshan Labor Camp. Who didn’t know that he was doing this for himself. To gain political capital! I know this kind of people very well! As long as my own personal interests are not involved, I will also say that workers should think about the country. If I don’t get laid off, who will get laid off? , it's like there's a fly buzzing all day long, sorry, not just one, but a bunch of flies buzzing around you, buzzing and flying into your ears, help me! And the stinky monkeys are mistreating me on the road. Needless to mention. What’s even more hateful is that Sha Seng stole my wife Chang’e, but pretended to be loyal and honest and got close to me, and even called me brother and brother. Humph! I've seen through this trick a long time ago - almost the same as Chen Shui-bian and Annette Lu, can you hide it from my pig eyes?

However, as the saying goes, there must be a road before the car reaches the mountain, and there must be a road. Zhu Bajie. I'm living a good life in prison. Why? Everyone knows that Stinky Monkey has an affair with Bull Demon King's wife, Princess Iron Fan, so he and Stinky Monkey are love rivals. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. Of course I am friends with Lao Niu. Lao Niu has said that not only will I be given a private room with a bathroom, air conditioning, color TV and multimedia computer next month, but I will also be given a private room in prison. There was a big birthday party for me. These were things that the stinky monkey never expected. In fact, this was just a superficial reason, so Lao Niu knew about my relationship with Tathagata, so he hinted to me that he also wanted to work for the anti-corruption director. Moreover, Lao Niu patted his chest and said that although I was sentenced to fifteen years this time, I was guaranteed to be released in three to five years.

Yulan, my Gao Laozhuang baby, I am really old pig. I can't bear to let you go, although people are saying now that you should not get married in a trial marriage, you should not live alone if you are single, you should not be indecisive in romance, you should like the new and never get tired of the old, a good woman is single, and a good man gets married, but the lady is too expensive, the lover is too tired, and the wife is boring. A girl from the country is the most economical. One day is a blessing for a hundred days, and we have been a couple for two years. When I think of the days we spent together, I feel so much love.

I know you feel very sad, but what can you do? The ancients said: If love lasts for a long time, how can it be in the morning and at night? Yulan, you must wait for me to come back. And I will definitely make a comeback. Even if I can't be an official, I can still do business with my background. Lan Mei must have confidence in this, because there was once a sincere love in front of me, but I didn't cherish it. I regretted it when I lost it. The most painful thing in the world is this. If God can give me another chance, I will say three words to that girl: I love you. If I have to add a time limit to this love, I hope it will be ten thousand years!

Lan Mei, we will meet in April on earth!

A love letter to Zhu Bajie, wishing that Lanmei would be as graceful as an orchid and establish herself in the modern era

Yulan:

It’s been a few days since I left Gao Laozhuang. You Do you know how much I miss you?

The feeling of being dragged away alive by two bachelors to the West is extremely uncomfortable.

The old guy Tang Seng was born to be a sadist. Not only did he eat vegetarian food all day long, but he also made me suffer with him.

Do you know how many days it has been since I smelled any oily smell?

I really miss the days I spent with you in Gaolaozhuang. Every day you weaved and I plowed the fields. Although it was hard, I was very satisfied to be able to eat the food you cooked. I only eat more than 200 steamed buns every day, and the meat and vegetables combined only amount to one jar. But your father always thinks I eat too much. But I do a lot of work alone! I have been waiting for your father to kick his legs, and then we will give birth to a bunch of piglets, expand our pig pen, and live a happy life!

But all this can only be imagined now.

The master has been fascinated by the Internet since he came out of the spider spirit's silk hole. The master chatted and played games day and night, and finally one day his body couldn't bear it and fell ill. As I used to do, I was very nutritious and had plenty to eat and drink every day, but I was still not qualified for the job my father-in-law gave me. How could he, who was a vegetarian all day long, not be nutritionally deficient? Sooner or later, your life will depend on the Internet. But it would be better for him to risk his life as soon as possible, so that I can meet my beloved wife Yulan as soon as possible.

But things can never develop as I imagined. Sun Wukong and Na Pohou recently joined a food company called the Fourth Meal, saying that creating the fourth meal for humans is called Networm Power. According to Napohou: This is the world's first food targeted at Internet users and mental workers. It refreshes the mind, protects against radiation, protects eyesight, nourishes the eyes, and quickly replenishes energy. I don’t know if it’s that amazing!

That day, when the two bachelors were away, I stole one and tasted it. It tasted pretty good, very sweet. I was afraid that they would find out that I didn't dare to steal more, but the strange thing is that I have been full of energy this half day. I used to help the master carry the luggage and I was almost exhausted after walking only a short distance. This time, I was actually smarter than Brother Monkey. I met those little goblins on the way. I saw through them all. Look how dare they call me a stupid pig this time!

The moment Brother Monkey gave the worm power to his master, he finally changed his mind and decided not to go to the West to learn from the experience, but to use pure natural green foods that produce worm power.

The master said: This networm power is rich in green tea essence, DHA, vitamin B1, spirulina, VC; rich in inositol, glutamine; absolutely does not contain any preservatives and colorings.

Moreover, it is fast-eating and is not restricted by time and place, so I can save the time of eating more than two hundred steamed buns every day, and its rich nutrition and energy can definitely support me throughout the day. consumption.

Your father won’t say that I ate too much this time.

We can also use mechanized control of our fields. After using the power of Internet bugs, my pig brain has become brighter.

Magnolia! Look how bright our future is, you must wait for me.

The ancients said: If love lasts for a long time, how can it last forever?

Hey! While those two bachelors are asleep, I'll steal another net bug power!

Zhu Ge Bajie’s remarks about Zhu Bajie wearing glasses

Zhu Bajie wearing glasses—pretending to be polite

Other remarks about Zhu Bajie:

Zhu Bajie teases Chang'e--without weighing himself

Zhu Bajie carries Sun Wukong---there is a capable man behind the capable man

Zhu Bajie wears glasses--pretends to be a college student

Zhu Bajie's speech - talking big words with a big mouth

Zhu Bajie yawns - such a big breath

Zhu Bajie is a dregs of a bowl - his mouth is full of porcelain (words)

Zhu Bajie Meet the Bull Demon King - no one is better than the other

Zhu Bajie eats ginseng fruit - he doesn't know the taste

Zhu Bajie eats bowl dregs - his mouth is full of words

Zhu Bajie Look in the mirror - you are not human inside and out

Zhu Bajie is defeated - beat him up

Zhu Bajie reads the songbook - pretending to be a literate person

Zhu Bajie wears flowers - the more The uglier

Zhu Bajie dreams of marrying a wife - thinking about good things

Zhu Bajie eats pork - cannibalism

Zhu Bajie rides a donkey - a pair of animals

p>

Zhu Bajie gets married - one is happy and the other is worried

Zhu Bajie wears powder - cannot hide the ugliness

Zhu Bajie grits his teeth - hates monkeys

Zhu Bajie looks Songbook - fake elegance

Zhu Bajie's back - the back of enlightenment (incompetence)

Zhu Bajie eats watermelon - swallows it all

Zhu Bajie gets married Girl - just look at me

Zhu Bajie lost his rake - why should he protect his master?

Zhu Bajie plays chess - loses for sure

Zhu Bajie walks - swings left and right

/p>

Zhu Bajie saw the White-Bone Essence - he was salivating

Zhu Bajie pulled Xishi to worship heaven and earth - not worthy at all

Zhu Bajie asked for a bride - it is difficult to find a heart

Zhu Bajie has entered the land of girls - he doesn’t want to leave

Zhu Bajie sells fried liver - which lung is this?

Zhu Bajie’s mouth - self-appreciation

Zhu Bajie gnaws on ground pears - what kind of fruits do immortals eat

Zhu Bajie eats pig trotters - self-mutilated flesh and bones

Zhu Bajie eats coptis - a big mouthful of bitterness

Zhu Bajie eats ginseng fruit - I don’t know what it’s like

Zhu Bajie is playing tricks - rake backwards

Zhu Bajie crosses the Flame Mountain - rake backwards

Zhu Bajie goes to heaven and worships Buddha - dusts his heart and shakes his mind

p>

Zhu Bajie wants to marry his wife - willing to spend effort (or thankless)

Zhu Bajie wants to marry his wife - willingly

Zhu Bajie wants to marry a wife - wishful thinking

Zhu Bajie's eyes are angry - ugly and evil

Zhu Bajie looks in the mirror - asking for embarrassment

Zhu Bajie's backbone - the incompetent person (the back of enlightenment)

Zhu Bajie goes up to the city wall - beat him up

Zhu Bajie:

Zhu Bajie is a character in Wu Chengen's "Journey to the West". Zhu Bajie wears glasses and makes remarks. Wu Neng, whose name is Tang Seng, was the second disciple of Tang Monk. He was originally the Tianpeng Marshal of the Jade Emperor. He was accused of molesting Fairy Nishang (one of Chang'e. "Chang'e" in "Journey to the West" means the Fairy of the Moon Palace. It is not the fairy in folklore. Hou Yi's wife Chang'e was expelled from heaven, but was reborn as a pig by mistake. Tang Monk and Sun Wukong went west to obtain Buddhist scriptures and passed by Gao Laozhuang. They fought with Sun Wukong in Yunzhan Cave. They heard about Tang Monk's name and went to pay homage. From then on, they became Tang Seng's disciples and together protected Tang Seng on his journey to the West to obtain Buddhist scriptures. In the end, he was named the Messenger of the Pure Altar.

Bajie has a simple and honest personality and is strong, but he is also lazy, loves to take advantage of others, and covets women. A postscript about Zhu Bajie

Speaking of Zhu Bajie, he is a well-known comedy character. He is a classic image contributed to the character gallery of "Journey to the West". Because of his classic temperament, his name has spread into the idioms. Let us learn it together:

1. The idioms about Zhu Bajie

Zhu Bajie’s powder can’t hide his ugliness< /p>

Zhu Bajie brags ----- talks big words

Zhu Bajie carries Sun Wukong ----- there is a capable person behind the capable man

Zhu Bajie sees the swill bucket - Eat and drink fiercely

Zhu Bajie fights grasshoppers------clumsy

Zhu Bajie plays chess--definitely loses

Zhu Bajie is slaughtered--fat

Zhu Bajie eats ginseng fruit - he doesn’t know the taste

Zhu Bajie pretends to be a girl - it doesn’t look like it at all

Zhu Bajie embroiders - hard-wearing and skillful

Zhu Bajie plays with a rake - he knows how to do it

Zhu Bajie eats - unpleasant

Zhu Bajie drives the clouds - shows off his skills

Zhu Bajie eats melon seeds - a fake Thin-mouthed

Zhu Bajie throws a rake - does not serve

Zhu Bajie's rake - knocks him down

Zhu Bajie eats shit - corruption

Zhu Bajie Riding a donkey - a pair of animals

Zhu Bajie singing - pretending to be an artist

Zhu Bajie wearing flowers - stinky and beautiful

Zhu Bajie carrying his wife on his back - thankless effort

p>

Zhu Bajie’s spine - an incompetent person (only carries it on his back)

Zhu Bajie looks in the mirror - he is not a human inside and out

Zhu Bajie plows the ground - all with his mouth

Zhu Bajie has entered the land of girls - he doesn’t want to leave

Zhu Bajie takes out his ears - there is something inside

Zhu Bajie is defeated - beats him up

Zhu Bajie eats Bowl dregs - a mouth full of words (Explanation: It is a metaphor for eating something without having time to taste it carefully. It is also a metaphor for reading and doing things to do more, but actually gaining nothing. Source: Chapter 6 of "The Scholars" by Wu Jingzi of the Qing Dynasty: "You Servant, 'Zhu Bajie eats ginseng fruit and doesn't know the taste.'")

Zhu Bajie carries the plate - thankless effort

Zhu Bajie teases Chang'e - he doesn't even weigh himself

Zhu Bajie played with the golden hoop - pretending to be a monkey

Zhu Bajie clicked his lips - saw his wife

Zhu Bajie held a banquet - pretending to be a rich man

Zhu Bajie gave a speech - Big mouth talks big words

Zhu Bajie walks - swaying from side to side

Zhu Bajie drank the grinding water - psychological show

Zhu Bajie gritted his teeth - hated the monkey

< p> Zhu Bajie gasps - such a big breath

Zhu Bajie wears glasses - pretends to be a college student

2. About Zhu Bajie

(1) Character introduction

He was originally Marshal Tianpeng under the Jade Emperor of Heaven, in charge of Tianhe. Marshal Tianpeng, the predecessor of Bajie in "Journey to the West", was a Tianhe Xianjie, the water god of Tianhe. It is not equivalent to Marshal Tianpeng in Taoism. Because he was drunk and molested Fairy Chang'e, he was banished to the mortal world by the Jade Emperor. He was reincarnated in the human world, but he was mistakenly reincarnated into a pig fetus. His face was similar to that of a pig. He once occupied Yunzhan Cave in Fuling Mountain as a demon. It killed sows and killed a group of pigs, and then married Sister Mao who came to Yunzhan Cave in Fuling Mountain. His sister may be a rabbit demon), but unexpectedly, his second sister died in one year, leaving only a cave for him. So far he lives in Yunzhan Cave and calls himself "Zhu Gang Hye". Tang Monk went west to obtain Buddhist scriptures and passed by Gao Laozhuang. He fought with Sun Wukong in Yunzhan Cave. He heard about Tang Monk's name and went to pay homage. After being accepted as the second disciple by Tang Seng, Tang Seng gave him the nickname "Bajie" in order to continue abstaining from the five meat and three kinds of disgusting foods. From then on, Bajie became Sun Wukong's good helper, and together they protected Tang Monk as he went to the West to obtain Buddhist scriptures. In the novel, Tang Seng and his disciples often get into trouble because of his laziness, gluttony and lust.

After retrieving the scripture, Zhu Bajie was named the envoy of the Pure Altar because he was "stubborn and lustful." He can master the Thirty-six Transformations of Tiangang and can soar into the clouds and ride in the mist. The weapon he uses is a nine-tooth rake. In "Journey to the West", Zhu Bajie is also called Mu Mu or Wood Dragon (Zhu Bajie belongs to Zhenyin, and the Five Elements belongs to wood). It is often seen in catalogs or poems in books.

(2) Image significance

The image of Zhu Bajie has contemporary significance. In "Journey to the West", Zhu Bajie is not used to and does not like the ascetic life of traveling around for a long time. He protects the monks to obtain Buddhist scriptures out of helplessness. When encountering disasters on the way to the west, he is always the first to retreat, break up the gang, sell luggage, The desire to return to Gaolaozhuang to be a son-in-law and live a life of farming. This feeling of returning to the land, missing home, and longing for a settled life is also the typical peasant consciousness and psychology that has been attached to the land for a long time. It can be said that Zhu Bajie is a typical incarnation of the working people from the countryside. He has a stubborn conservative mentality developed by guarding the land. He is in opposition to God, Taoism and Buddha, and expresses the life aspirations of ordinary working people. Zhu Bajie's greed for money, lust, and selfishness also reflects the accumulation of lustful and good-selling thoughts in Ming Dynasty society. It reflects the consciousness characteristics of small producers and citizens at that time, and has the ideological characteristics of that era.

Because, with the development of the commodity economy in the middle of the Ming Dynasty, China's new citizen class further expanded after the Song and Yuan Dynasties, and began to play a role that cannot be underestimated in society. However, because China's declining feudal economy is still very powerful, the entire society is still dominated by the natural economy.

Therefore, there are still two elements, progressive and conservative, among the emerging citizen class in the Ming Dynasty. The image of Zhu Bajie is universal among the citizens of the Ming Dynasty. It is an "artistic image full of human desires" and an image of the lower class people in traditional Chinese social life that represents the peasant class and has the characteristics of citizens.

Zhu Bajie acts spontaneously and expresses his personality. His natural nature comes from the fact that he is a representative ordinary person; an ordinary person who abides by his duties, and an ordinary person who is reluctant and always retreats; As an object that can be easily ridiculed and ridiculed by officials and ordinary people, it is an image that comes from within the people and contains the strengths and weaknesses of all living beings. Therefore, it has contemporary significance to cater to popular culture. For example, some folk sayings: "Zhu Bajie carries his wife on his back - thankless effort"; "Zhu Bajie plays with a rake - he knows how to use it"; "Zhu Bajie picks out his ears - there is something inside." Several movies and TV shows about Zhu Bajie have also emerged in contemporary times. Products such as "Brilliant Spring, Zhu Bajie", "Lucky Stars Shine Zhu Bajie", etc. The reason why Zhu Bajie is so popular in contemporary popular culture circles is mainly related to his affinity and the spiritual needs of today's people. Therefore, in contemporary society, the image of Zhu Bajie has universal significance.

(3) Significance in the work

In the work, this character has unique ideological and aesthetic significance.