82 funny classic sentences

1, since ancient times, no one has died, and those who die early or late have to die.

2, you didn't spoil the word youth, you are in beginning of autumn.

3, counting sheep to mouth cramps, nightmares naturally wake up.

I seem to be allergic to paper, and I feel uncomfortable every time I do my homework.

5. If I had known being so tired, I wouldn't have been paranoid.

6. Your complex facial features can't hide your simple IQ.

7. You smell her perfume, which is not as expensive as mine.

8. I am a civilized person, and all the dirty words have been disinfected with saliva.

9. The weather is as cold as a joke, and life is like nonsense.

10, if I pretend to have amnesia, how many people will abandon me.

1 1. Flowers often belong to cow dung, not to people who enjoy them.

12, boys may not be handsome, but it is necessary to be nice to their wives!

13, loneliness is a carnival of one person, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people!

14, mathematics is actually very simple, but the remaining 90 points are difficult.

15, and finally I said I hate you. But I hate you because I love you.

16, do you belong to me? You can have it alive and take it with you when you die.

17, I didn't give it to the woman at first, but I was in a hurry to get it!

18, it is your duty to educate us, and it is our right not to be educated!

19, wear other people's shoes, go your own way, and let them take a taxi to find it.

20. If I die, my first sentence is: I don't have to be afraid of ghosts at last.

2 1, if I have no power, a beautiful woman like you can still follow me.

22. The woman who never forgets is the most guilty, and the man who never forgets the old love is the most disgusting.

23. I am possessive. Don't touch my things, or I'll beat you up.

24. Who are you making that face with? I owe you an overdue loan or something.

Just because I looked at you again in the crowd, you asked me to answer questions on the blackboard.

26. When people start to say that you are crazy, you are not far from success.

27. Take your hand and drag the child away. If the child doesn't leave, dizziness will continue to be dragged away.

28. The happiest thing in the world is that the person you love just loves you.

29. Brother, brother, brother, I believe Brother Chun in the senior high school entrance examination. I don't have to do my homework, so I won't fail.

30, a good life: a bowl of mala Tang, a bottle of tadpoles, plus a small accommodation.

3 1, the highest level of work is to watch others go to work and get their wages.

32. I don't have puppy love, because I tell myself that puppy love is to raise a wife for others.

At this age, the only thing I can put down is chopsticks.

34. The so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in eight words: spring sleep, summer fatigue, autumn sleep and hibernation.

35. I wake up every morning with a handsome hairstyle, either Saiyan or Altman.

A person had better not have a good memory, because the more memories, the less happiness.

37. You are the Eastern Hemisphere and I am the Western Hemisphere. Together, we are the whole earth.

38. It turns out that Superman died like this. It was so cold that he flew and froze to death.

39. It's not your fault that you want to be a * *, it's your fault that you came to the university to study!

I want to hold an umbrella with you. I have experienced every hot summer and rainy day!

4 1. If you want to say something, you will say it naturally. If you don't want to tell, all you hear is lies.

42. There is a song that goes like this: As long as you live better than me, I can't stand it.

43. Eating food is kind, because I just want to eat every day and have no time to calculate others.

She's mine. Don't touch her! If it is damaged, you can't pay. If you feel cute, forward it!

45. I kept all our memories, but now you have disappeared from my memory.

46. Do a good job and live a wonderful life.

47. I want to delete my records after entering your space, but who thought I didn't have access?

48. When I woke up this morning, I thought I had grown up. I took a closer look and found that the quilt cover was horizontal!

49. Actually, I used to be quite tall, but later I often took a shower and it shrank.

50. When I was a child, I thought bleeding was a serious matter. Whether it hurts or not, cry first.

5 1, the eyes are astringent, because the tears are turbid, and love is astringent, because of the persistence of deception.

52, the tide of wearing, the non-mainstream of fashion, wearing sexy, sexy is sitting on the stage.

53. Although the school is poor, I am never stingy with printing papers, which makes me deeply moved.

54. Next time a boy laughs at your thick legs. Just answer him: your legs are thin, and all three legs are thin.

55. Don't think that I am out of reach because I am handsome. Actually, I am a sea of rivers.

56.why should I listen to you? Who are you? Is it my man, my parents? Who are you?

57. I want a stable score, can resist the cruelty of exams, and have a home among the piles of schoolmasters.

58. After class, the teacher said, What else do you not understand? I stretched myself and said, what class does the teacher have?

59. What is happiness? Happiness is to look at your watch when you wake up every morning and sleep for half an hour.

60. It was not until the smell of love quietly left that I suddenly realized. It turns out that it has reached my heart.

The advantage of 6 1. news simulcast is that even if you have been changing channels, you can watch a piece of news completely.

62. What should I do if I meet a snake in the wild? Don't panic, hold up an umbrella with a warm smile and pretend to be Xu Xian.

63. The most domineering sentence when I was a child: "You wait and see after school".

64. I feel bad today. I only have four sentences to say, including this one and the first two. I quit.

65. I just learned today that so many people wanted me for life, but they gave it to him and he didn't want it.

If you meet me in heaven, please pretend you don't know me, because I will propose to you next time.

67. I said: Have a life outside of work! So, my wife told me that I could have this. So: I work overtime!

68. Some people give birth in the car, while others get pregnant in the subway. Beijing is really a vibrant city …

69. A young man went to lose weight. The doctor said that he could only eat two pieces of bread every meal. The young man actually said, before or after meals?

People say that making more friends with beautiful people will make you look better. No wonder you find that your friends are getting better and better.

7 1, female secretary: "boss, your wife called, and she said on the phone that she would kiss you."

72. I only drink pure water when drinking water and pure milk when drinking milk, so I am very simple. ...

73, the right shoes, only the feet know, the right person, only the heart knows, take a thousand roads, only one is suitable, meet a thousand people, one person is enough.

74. Between waking and dreaming, your figure appeared and snuggled in your arms, which I can't tell you. I wonder if I can feel your temperature again!

75. There is really no coat that can match the school uniform. You can hide your mobile phone in your sleeve, put your book in your pocket, roll a pillow, spread it out as a blanket, and dare to rub it anywhere.

76. Once in class, I played cards with my classmates in the back. The teacher handed out exercise papers and sent them to me. I stood up and said to the teacher, teacher, I am short of cards.

77. My name in my girlfriend's mobile phone is "He". After breaking up, I became "it".

78. If I can have 999 times of good luck in my life, I would like to share all 997 times with you and keep only two times for myself: once to meet you and once to accompany you forever.

79. In the Southern Song Dynasty, there was a patriotic poet named Lu You. At that time, nomads from the invasion, in the face of broken mountains and rivers, the people were miserable, and Lu You was furious. Lu You was so angry that we couldn't surf the Internet.

80. I feel like a foreigner when I see my Chinese homework; When I saw my English homework, I felt that I was from China again. I didn't know I was an alien until I saw my math homework.

8 1, there is a paradise above and a casino below; If you don't eat vegetables, go online; Have money to pick up girls, but no money to grab them; Let's practice boxing and sing; Unique wine rack, healthy smoking; At this rate, it would have collapsed.

82. Today, my colleague received a message from my predecessor, which read as follows: "Dear, I got my driver's license. Be careful when crossing the street ... "