What are the top ten jokes in the world?

1, the old leader lamented, how happy you are, there are ladies everywhere. I was not only on a business trip, but when I came back, my family of seven were all crowded together. If I want to make out, I have to sprinkle sugar outside the door and shout: ... "Little friend, I'll hold your mother down and grab the candy!" " ! ! "

2. The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two and played badminton. Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four sections and plays mahjong. Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother earthworm cried and said, "Why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! Father earthworm said weakly. ... I suddenly want to play football. "

4. Race between the tortoise and the hare ... The hare quickly ran to the front ... The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him: Come on, I'll carry you ... Then ... the snail climbed up ... Soon ... The tortoise saw an ant again ... and said to him: Come up, too ... So the ant came up. When the ant appeared ... he saw the snail on it ... and said to him, Hello! Do you know what the snail said? Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast. ...

5. A man and a woman are eating. Girls keep asking boys: Do you love me? The boy glanced at the girl and went on eating dinner. The girl was very angry and asked, Do you love me or not? The boy finally said: love! The girl asked again, then how do you prove it? Suddenly, the boy took out thirty dollars from his pocket and asked the girl, do you have ten dollars? The girl gave ten yuan to the boy ... The boy put forty yuan on the table. After a while ... The girl was very angry and asked the boy: Do you want to prove that you love me? The boy said: I have been proved! Forty is just around the corner!

6. One night, when a young woman passed a mental hospital, there was a sudden "wow" behind her. The woman turned her head and saw a naked man chasing her. The woman began to run in fear, and the man behind her followed. No, there's a dead end ahead. Desperate, the woman knelt on the ground and cried and begged, "Whatever, just don't kill me." The man smiled cunningly and said, "Really? Then you start chasing me now. "

7. A man went fishing by the river, first wearing a leaf ~ no fish took the bait for a long time, then he changed a piece of bread ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ no choice but to change earthworms ~ no fish took the bait for a long time ~ ~ In a rage, he took out a 100-yuan stir-fry and threw it into the water and cursed, "Shit, what do you want to eat! Buy it yourself! "

8. "I can't see things too far away," the patient said to the ophthalmologist. "Please follow me," the doctor took the patient outside and pointed to the sun in the sky. "What do you think that is?" "the sun." The patient replied. "Then how far do you want to see!"

9. One day, a person met God, and God suddenly showed mercy and planned to give that person a wish ... God asked, do you have any wishes? The man thought about it and heard that cats have nine lives. Please give me nine lives. God said: well, your wish has come true. One day, men are idle and bored, for example, let's die. In short, there were nine lives, and he was lying on the tracks ... As a result, a train passed by ... and the man was still dead. Why? -Because the car of that train has 10 knots.

10, today, my little cousin leisurely chased and played with his classmates in the classroom after class ... and then he played with them ... Suddenly, this classmate played a prank and secretly touched his bird ... He was very angry ... humiliated by being touched ... so he cried and went to the teacher (female) at the level ... "Teacher XXX touched my bird" Cousin was angry. I want to give you a lecture face to face ... "Did Mr. XXX ever teach you not to touch other people's things casually ..." The teacher said in a stern tone ... "Don't do this next time, you know?" "My little cousin was very happy before touching ... I didn't expect this teacher to turn around and say" and you "."Did the teacher say it before? You don't care at all. " "Didn't the teacher say that animals or pets can't be brought to school?" "Who told you to bring the bird to school? ""Hand over the bird and the teacher will return it to you after school. "-life is actually very monotonous, so smile more when you have time. Whether you reply or not, I wish the friends who read the post a happy life! ! !