Red Cliff Classic Lines (Funny Classic)

Zhuge Liang: "Tomorrow I will go to Jiangdong to lobby Sun Quan and unite with us against Cao Cao."

Liu Bei kindly handed Zhuge Aliang a bowl of white rice and said:

"It's a long way to Wu Dong. You need physical strength. Come, eat more ... "

2

Zhou Yu first met Zhuge Liang:

Zhou Yu: "Why is Fan in such a cold day?"

Zhuge Liang: "I need to keep calm all the time ..."

three

Zhou Yu: Do you know the array method?

Zhuge said modestly, a little ~

Zhou Yu: You said my array was out of date?

Zhuge: Aha, it's really the commander-in-chief. You can hear it so far away ~

four

Zhou Yu and others asked Liu Bei why he returned to weaving "straw sandals".

Liu Bei: "After so many years, I am used to it."

Guan Yu gently added: "The sandals we wore when marching were all made up by our eldest brother ..."

five

Yu: "Since you know music, why don't you play a song with me?"

Liang: "I know a little."

Yu: "(ambiguous) you know. . . . . . You are just covering it up. "

Then ambiguous eyes meet.

six

After Zhou Yu and Zhuge Liang played a song.

Xiao Qiao said to Zhuge, "Zhou Lang hasn't played the piano for a long time."

Zhuge: "I haven't felt so bad for a long time."

Xiao Qiao: "We must hit it off."

seven

Zhuge Liang is fanning pigeons,

Zhou Yu approached and asked him what he was doing. ...

Liang: "I just bathed the pigeons ... and dried them ..." (very gentle and sweet)

Yu: "Aren't you afraid of them catching cold?" (gentler and more intimate)

They looked at each other affectionately for 3 seconds ~ ~ ~

Liang: "I need to calm down. What about you? "

Yu: "I also need to be calm."

eight

The pony showed a leg and got stuck. Little Joe pulled hard.

Zhuge Liang: "force can't be pulled out ... I'll do it!" "

Zhou Yu said in surprise, "Do you know this?"

Zhuge Liang's eyes were wandering and he smiled: "A little (sweat -_-b),

I once gave birth to cows ... I think the reason is the same ... "

nine

The pony was born.

Xiao Qiao asked Zhou Yu, "The little guy hasn't been named yet!"

Zhou Yu: "Born in Jingchu, it should be named Jingchu. Well, shall we call it "MengMeng"? "

(Laughing at the audience)

10

Cao Cao was in a daze at the portrait of Xiao Qiao.

Hua Tuo came forward and said, "Prime Minister, if you think too much and dream too much, it will also lead to a head wind ..."

Fuck: "Haven't you heard that desire makes people young?"

(Full-court collapse)

1 1

Cao Cao stood at the bow and praised the ships used for water attacks. To all soldiers:

"These water boats really make our military power' even more powerful' ..."

12

Cao Cao satirized Liu Bei's alliance with Sun Quan;

"What can a loser do with a frustrated person?"

13

Zhou Yu is training,

Zhuge Liang saw it from a distance, made two strokes at Fan, and said in a serious way:

"Goose shape, um ... ok. ...

(Then turning to Lu Su in a low voice) Unfortunately, it is out of date. "

14

Guan Yu said to the children in Shu:

"study now, and you will have food later." |||

15

Xiao Qiao asked Zhou Yu, "How is my skill in dressing wounds?"

Zhou Yu: "You wrapped me like a zongzi ~ ~"