Do you have any funny jokes?

One sentence humor` 29 items

1. The cat greets the cow. But the cow made fun of the cat and said, "You have grown a beard at such a young age!" The cat was very angry and said, "Why don't you wear a bra even when you are so old?"

2. Why are you so ignorant? Your uncle is here, why would you think of going to the zoo to see bears? !

3. When looking at beautiful women on the street, if you look high, you are appreciative; if you look low, you are a gangster.

4. I remember one day shortly after graduation, my girlfriend sent me a text message: "Let's break up!" Before I had time to feel sad, my girlfriend sent me another text: "Sorry, I sent it to the wrong person." "You can be completely sad now...

5. Lie on your back tonight, sit up tomorrow morning, lie down tomorrow night, and hold up the day after tomorrow...exercise, sometimes it's that simple.

6. I know I am not a handsome guy, but someone once looked at my full-moon photo and said that my left nostril is very idol-like.

7. Before a monkey eats peanuts, he has to stuff them into his butt and then take them out to eat. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it a peach, but the peach core could not be pulled out. The monkey was frightened. Now it must be measured before eating.

8. I am in a bad mood today. I only have four things to say. Including this sentence and the previous two sentences. I'm done...

9. Don't call your children little bastards, because from a genetic point of view, this is not good for parents.

10. Steamed buns are versatile and can be eaten when you are hungry. If you want to eat pancakes, flatten the buns; if you want to eat noodles, comb the buns with a comb; if you want to eat hamburgers, cut the buns into pieces and eat them with vegetables...

11. What men call inner beauty , refers to the inside of the bra, not the inside.

12. Then I saw the so-called criteria for choosing a mate for contemporary women in the book: a car, a house, and both parents are dead. depressed. Then I wrote down the criteria for choosing a wife in my fantasy: family wealth of over 100 million, the best beauty in the world, virtuous, gentle and sexy, father-in-law has terminal cancer...

13. My father asked me what I want to pursue in life? I answered money and beauty, and my father slapped me in the face fiercely; I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively.

14. Except for one item, the other columns were filled in quite well. The "relationship" column should be filled with "mother-in-law" instead of "tension".

15. I discovered that the way to attract a man is to keep him wanting; the way to attract a woman is just the opposite, to keep her satisfied.

16. My father hit me twice today. The first time was because he saw the two-point report card in my hand, and the second time was because the report card was from his childhood.

17. My principle is: I will not offend others unless they offend me; if they offend me, I will get angry!

18. Brother, let’s be honest, we should never drink while driving, hiccup... Think about it, if you hit a telephone pole and the wine spills, hiccup... …What a pity!

19. A young lady was walking at night and met a robber on the road: "Hand over the money!" The young lady replied: "No, even if you rape me, I won't give it to you!" The robber looked at the young lady carefully. Said: "What you think is beautiful!"

20. If happiness is like a floating cloud, if pain is like stars. Then my life is really cloudless and the sky is filled with stars...

21. For men, the upper body is cultivation and the lower body is essence; for women, the upper body is bait and the lower body is trap.

22. On Valentine’s Day, I found the phone number of a girl I had a crush on in middle school, and sent her a text message: If there is only one bowl of porridge, drink half the bowl first, and I’ll take the remaining half. Put it in your arms to keep you warm... A few minutes later, she responded with a text message: Who introduced you? Four hundred at a time, seven hundred for the night.

23. I have been in a bad mood today. Last night’s text message let me know that the girl I had a crush on before was depraved and even told me four hundred dollars at a time... I was very sad at the time, and I was sad and turned over I checked my wallet: So I was even more sad. I didn’t even have the capital to accompany her to fall for once...

24. Being single is painful, and being single for a long time is even more painful. I saw a sow a few days ago, Everyone thinks it is pretty...

25. I really don’t understand that girls buy a lot of beautiful clothes just to attract boys’ attention, but what boys want to see is girls without clothes.

26. Two drunk men drove wildly in a car. A: "Be careful! There is a sharp turn ahead." B: "What? Aren't you driving?"

27. After dinner, I was smoking and enjoying on the balcony, and suddenly I saw a light spot in the night sky. As the passing stars passed by, I felt excited: Meteor! So I immediately made a wish... After making six or seven wishes, I opened my eyes, I had finished smoking, and threw it out of the balcony. Suddenly I heard the voice of a girl downstairs: "Wow! Shooting star! Make a wish quickly..."

28. A foreigner who has learned some Mandarin. In the morning, he greeted the female secretary, "How are you?" The lady glared at him. He was stunned, and immediately said to her: "Mom, hello!"

29. A farmer's daughter is too ugly So he had to let her go to the cornfield to be a scarecrow to scare the crows. Not only did she scare away the crows, but three crows were so frightened that they sent some corn back.