Want some funny internet words

1. When mice show their power, everyone becomes a sick cat. 2. I was arguing with a girl about whether whales are fish. In the end, I said, "Japanese people also have personal characters", and she finally agreed that whales are not fish. 3. There was gold under the man's knee. I cut off the entire leg and couldn't even find a piece of copper! 4. I bury corn in the soil in spring, and I will harvest a lot of corn in autumn. In the spring I bury my wife in the soil, and in the fall I will... be shot! 5. If you see a shadow in front of you, don’t be afraid, it’s because there is sunshine behind you! 6. If you are still young after visiting brothels, please use Huiren Shenbao. 7. Listen to your words and save me ten books! 8. Make your debut at the age of 0, and make progress every day at the age of 10. At the age of 20, you have lofty ideals, and at the age of 30, you work hard to become stronger. The 40-year-old is basically oriented, the 50-year-old is popular everywhere. Play mahjong when you are 60 years old, and wander around when you are 70 years old. The 80-year-old Lala lives at home, and the 90-year-old hangs it on the wall! 9. When I take off my clothes, I am a beast, but when I put on clothes, I am a beast! 10. Master, just follow me! ...A long, long time later... Master, please spare me! 11. "Dear, I...I'm pregnant...for three months, but don't worry, it's not yours, and you're not responsible..." 12. We had a little disagreement: She wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to Treat gold like dung. 13. Studying Chinese for 10 years is worse than chatting on QQ for half a year. 14. I was lazy in bed in the morning, so I took out 6 coins from my pocket: If all six coins come out heads, I will go to class! After thinking for a long time, I decided not to take the risk... 15. I bought a Western Zhou clay pot for 80,000 yuan. Yesterday I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said seriously: "This is not from the Western Zhou Dynasty. ? This is from last week! ” 16. I can tolerate fake figures, fake faces, fake breasts, and fake butts! ! ! But I just don’t tolerate fake money! ! ! ! 17. A gentleman pretends to be dead to be a confidant, and a woman undergoes plastic surgery to please someone. 18. When you grow up, you will marry Tang Seng. If you can play with him, play with him; if you can’t, eat him up. 19. One mountain cannot accommodate two tigers, except one male and one female. 20. Don’t wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly. 21. If my friends can sell them for five yuan each, I can make a small fortune. 22. Marriage notice: The requirements are as follows, A is alive and B is female. 23. Give me some sunshine and I will rot. 24. You must eat appropriately to lose weight effectively. 25. Shake and shake until you reach Naihe Bridge. 26. Destiny is responsible for shuffling the cards, but it is ourselves who play the cards! 27. Question: What do you like about me? Answer: I like you to stay away from me! 28. Come back quickly, I can’t fool you alone! 29. Life is like Song Zude’s mouth, you never know who will be unlucky next~~~ 30. If you fall, get up and cry again~~~ 31. In addition to teeth, there is love that is difficult to extricate yourself from in the world. . 32. A dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi'an Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed: "555, I finally don't have to worry about getting married in this life..." 33. Life is easy. Life is easy. Life is not easy. 34. My cousin is over forty years old. He started studying literature and failed the exam for three consecutive years. Then he practiced martial arts and fired an arrow in the martial arts field, which hit the drummer and drove him out. He changed his studies to medicine, wrote a good prescription, took it, and died. 35. Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel... 36. My life has a limit, and my food has no limit~~~ 37. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage, or money! 38. When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even. 39. Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw a stone at my head! 040. If something goes wrong, first look for the cause within yourself. Don’t blame the earth’s lack of gravity for constipation. 41. Make decisions with a pat on your head, make promises with a pat on your chest, and leave with a pat on your back.

42. We move so fast that our souls can’t keep up... 43. Don’t be like the people on earth~~~ 44. A girl can transform from a virgin to a woman only once and successfully, but a boy needs repeated training to transform from a virgin to a man! 45. If you go out to hang out, your wife will have to change sooner or later! 46. ??When I was young, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. But when I grew up, I realized that the whole world couldn’t save me... 47. All the rich people are uncles! But it’s even worse if you don’t pay back the money you owe! 48. Even if I were a leper, I would never marry a leper. 49. Why sleep for a long time when you are alive? You will sleep forever after death... 50. A tailor who does not want to be a cook is not a good driver. 51. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately - in the end he killed all his students. 52. On the way to Xi'an for a business trip, a Dalian man boasted about how wonderful Dalian was. Then he said that Dalian held a grand celebration on the 100th anniversary of the founding of the city. Then he asked the person next to him: "The first anniversary of the founding of Xi'an." Are there any celebrations for the 100th anniversary?" Several Xi'an buddies nearby were stunned, and after a while, they forced out a sentence: "I remember that when Xi'an was founded 600 years ago, there was a 'Fenghuo Opera Princes'..." 53. Diamonds are forever, but one will go bankrupt! 54. On the ** campus, the person riding the bicycle may be a doctoral supervisor, while the person driving the Mercedes-Benz may be a logistician... 55. It is gold, which will always be spent; it is a mirror, which will always reflect light... 56. My girlfriend is inappropriate The reason why she is a nun is that she has not passed Level 4, so the nunnery will not accept her. 57. Celebrities can become more famous if they take off a little more, but I was arrested even though I took all my clothes off! 58. I saw a pretty girl, but I had no idea how to strike up a conversation. I picked up a brick on the side of the road and walked up to him, "Classmate, did you drop this?" 59. When I was a child, my dream was not to be a scientist, but to be a landlord. The young master of my family has thousands of hectares of fertile land. He is ignorant and has no skills all day long. He leads a group of dog slaves to the streets to molest a girl from a good family... 60. Don't talk about your ideals with me, quit it! 61. Roses are yours, chocolates are yours, and diamonds are yours. You are mine! 62. The so-called surprise is when the rabbit you have been waiting for comes, followed by the wolf! 63. What is blessing? Happiness is when cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Ultraman fights little monsters! 64. Two farmers boasted: "The chickens on our farm eat only tea leaves and lay tea eggs." "Well, on our farm, we give the chickens wallets to eat and let them lay poached eggs." 65. Cockroaches are not afraid of cockroaches. The medicine is gone, but we can’t even get vitamins! 66. Don’t blame the dog for following you if you look like a bun! 67. A man’s IQ when having sex is second only to Einstein! 68. Study hard for China! A bag of Chinese money is a lot of money... 69. If you can't put your woman into a wedding dress, then don't stop unbuttoning her clothes! 70. Don’t think that you can be a stain witness just by wearing dirty clothes; don’t think that you can be a clogs witness by wearing wooden slippers... 71. Your career belongs to the country, your honor belongs to your unit, your achievements belong to your leader, your salary belongs to your wife, and your property belongs to you. The child's mistakes are his own. 72. The rebirth of a phoenix is ??Nirvana, and the rebirth of a pheasant is the transformation of a corpse. 73. If one day I become a gangster, please tell others that I was innocent... 74. The old man not only has a car, but also drives his own... 75. Women have countless QQ accounts just to tease a man, and men often use one QQ account. The account is filled with all kinds of women... 76. I accidentally saw the so-called criteria for choosing a mate for contemporary women in a book: "Have a car, a house, and both parents are dead." I was depressed. Then he wrote down the criteria for choosing a wife in his fantasy: "The family has a fortune of over 100 million, the most beautiful in the world, virtuous, gentle and sexy, and the father-in-law has terminal cancer..." 77. Most people only do three things in their lives: deceiving themselves, deceiving others, and being cheated. Bullying.

78. Sleep is an art - no one can stop me from pursuing art! 79. In order to avoid domestic violence, I decided not to get married! 80. You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig! 81. A thunderbolt is not as fast as it can cover an ear and steal a bell. It should remain unchanged despite all changes and never deviate from its origin. Success is not worth mentioning. This thing is the most missed thing. In the wind and rain, how can we sweep away the invincible world without sweeping a house? The sun rises in the east and the rain keeps falling in the west. Look up to see when the bright moon will come. , as dumb as a tree, chicken feathers serve as arrows, how can I use a knife to kill a chicken, and show my sharpness in spring, surround Wei and save Zhao Baokui, very good bye, eight-square tooth Lu Binghua, a thousand miles away *** Chanjuan... 82. A blog diary of a certain woman: A certain month One day, I came home drunk, reached out and touched it - my phone and chastity were both there, sleeping! 83. The beautiful, pure, gentle, sexy and lovely virgin is like a ghost. Men are talking about it, but no one has ever seen it with their own eyes... 84. I remember the primary school teacher scolded me: "I Kick you out with a slap!" I wanted to laugh but didn't dare. Now, I dare to laugh but I can’t laugh... 85. If happiness is like clouds, if pain is like stars. Then my life is really cloudless and the sky is filled with stars... 86. The effect of contraception: If it fails, you will become a "human". 87. Loneliness is the carnival of one person, and carnival is the loneliness of a group of people. 88. The most tiring thing in the world is watching your heart break and having to glue it back together. 89. The tragedy of life is that after a night of hard work and beautiful dreams, you wake up the next morning and can’t remember them all! 90. My father asked me what I want to pursue in life? I answered money and beauty, and my father slapped me in the face fiercely; I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively. 91. Men are all lustful. A slightly stronger lust is called a pervert, a little stronger is called a pervert, and an even stronger one is called a pervert. If it is particularly strong, it is called a pervert. If one is extremely lustful, he is called a body aesthetics artist. 92. I remember one day shortly after graduation, my girlfriend sent me a text message: "Let's break up!" Before I had time to feel sad, my girlfriend sent another text: "I'm sorry, I sent it to the wrong one." Now I was completely sad. 93. Urination and defecation are prohibited here. Violators will have their tools confiscated. 94. When looking at beautiful women on the street, if you look high, you are appreciative; if you look low, you are a gangster. 95. My dear, we still have a lot to do in this life. Don’t waste your time playing hide and seek with me. Come out quickly~~~ 96. Women like two flowers in their life: one is money to spend, and the other is money. Spend as much as you can! 97. Become famous instantly - is used to describe female artists... 98. The unfairness of this world is that God said: "I want light!" So there was daytime. The beauty said: "I want a diamond ring!" So she got a diamond ring. The rich man said: "I want a woman!" So he got a woman. I said, "I want to take a shower!" The water stopped! 99. I really don’t understand that girls buy a lot of beautiful clothes just to attract boys’ attention, but what boys want to see is girls without clothes. 100. Occasionally, you will feel happy if you are silent for a while, but if you are silent for a while, life will be miserable... 101. Superman is on a mission today, who will wash his pants? 102. Give me 12 beautiful daughters, and I will praise the Lord every day. In 20 years, these angels will bring me endless wealth. 103. The reason my girlfriend doesn't want to be a nun is because she didn't pass Level 4 and the nunnery won't accept her. 104. My buddy has fallen in love with a 39-year-old girl and is currently proposing. 105. To avoid future troubles, dig deeper! 106. Hand over your basin! Sir, I have to wash my pants. 107. I gently take off your breasts, and then...then...take off mine. 108. I have never eaten pork, and I have never heard of a price increase in pork! 109. You can watch advertisements, but you absolutely cannot buy the things advertised. 110. All the rich ones are uncles! But it’s even worse if you don’t pay back the money you owe! 111. I don't care if you brush your teeth, but tell me where my facial cleanser is! 112. Celebrities can become more famous if they take off a little more, but I was arrested even though I took all my clothes off! 113. You must look carefully when looking for a partner now, because there are too many people who are neither men nor women! 114.

You will be really angry when a mosquito bites you, but what is even more annoying is that you can’t find it when it bites you! 115. What does cock mean? Answer: Two chickens! 116. What do you miss most when you stand at the bungee jumping place? Anyway, I wanted to pee the most at that time!