Idiot's humorous jokes

A collection of idiots' humorous jokes

One day, a woman told her boyfriend that I was pregnant.

Her boyfriend said excitedly, really? Is it mine?

The woman slapped her face and roared, It's not yours, it's mine.

2. male:? Japanese people nowadays are really shameless. If I have the chance to see a Japanese woman, I will definitely stay in bed for one night! ?

Girlfriend: Baga! You're dead, dead, dead! My conscience is broken.

3. My girlfriend said that I have aesthetic problems. I said that if I have aesthetic problems, I can find you so beautiful.

She: She also said that there is no problem with aesthetics. Just beautiful? It is very beautiful.

God, I won't say anything. . .

4. My girlfriend asked me: Your mother and I fell into the water. Do you start with Weibo or make friends first?

I cann't believe I'm speechless .

My girl ticket holds my salary and always asks her for it when she has no money. . .

Every time I say thank you to my boss, she always replies faintly: Nothing, you're welcome, just try harder at night. . .

6.m: Do you have an appointment?

Woman: No reservation!

M: After all, do you want to make an appointment?

Woman: I told you, about!

7, Sao Nian: Baby, in the vast sea of people, I gave up choosing so many beautiful women and chose you who looks not outstanding. Do you know why?

Sister paper: What do you mean? Am I that ugly?

Sao nian: why can't you women hear the point? I mean, I chose you, which shows how much I care about you and love you.

Sister paper: Hum, your penis is so short, but I chose you. Will you be happy to hear that?

Sao nian .

8. Boyfriend is embarrassed. I want to send him a breakup message: let's break up! I waited for several days and didn't reply to me!

The end of the month passed, and suddenly I received a message: Dear, there was no SMS package last month. Why did you break up with me? I can do anything for you!

9. Diaosi: Goddess, are you asleep?

Goddess: Sleep!

Diaosi: Hehe, Goddess, are you kidding? Can you return my message when you sleep?

Goddess: I am her boyfriend.

Diaosi! @#￥@#%

10, diaosifa said: It seems to find someone to grab breakfast together, grab the computer together, and grab the quilt together!

Tease God B to reply: We can grab razors together in the morning!

1 1. A man was arrested for opening a room outside on a business trip. Pol.ice requires that the process be written down in the simplest language and deeply reviewed.

This man summed it up in one sentence:? Make a big mistake in a big fart place. ?

12, stupid colleague was drunk and shouted. I set myself a goal this year: to play with my lover on Valentine's Day, to play with my teacher on Teacher's Day and to play with my nurse on Nurse's Day.

Then another colleague replied, what to play on Mother's Day?

Idiot colleague shouted: I play with your mother!

Stop it, fight, stop it. . .

13, I asked my sister to check in. By the time I took a shower, she was gone, and the money I brought from Nokia and 800 yuan were gone. . .

Damn it, I don't understand. What do you mean, take it and leave your iPhone6 behind? Do I define you as a liar or a home appliance to the countryside?

14, April Fool's Day can be played with a little technical content, such as giving me a hundred yuan phone bill to guess who charged it, giving me a box of delicious food to guess who sent it, putting Apple Six Plath in your pocket to guess who did it, and throwing me a bunch of big bills to guess who smashed it.

15, restaurant. A couple at the next table, the girl asked: Do you think I am beautiful today?

The boy bowed his head to play with his mobile phone, looked up at her and said, it's not pretty. ?

Then continue to play with your mobile phone. The girl frowned and threw chopsticks and said, Today is April Fool's Day. If you lie to me, you will die. ?

The boy put down his cell phone, grinned and said, but I have cheated you. I am not dead ~?

16. Today is April Fool's Day. I specially cut a turtle out of paper and stuck it on my back. Then I turned my back on a colleague and asked him what was behind me. Colleague said: Haha, there is a turtle behind you. Haha, there really is a turtle behind you. The goods have been laughing for a long time and haven't reacted yet. I wonder if they will be beaten in the future!

17, it rained heavily, just before I left my umbrella in the office.

When I went downstairs, I saw a group of people waiting for someone to send rain gear. One of them is a beautiful woman standing alone. I gave her an umbrella without hesitation, ready to go back in the rain. She said, hey, your umbrella. . .

Me: It's your umbrella!

Then he ran into the rain and left her with a back.

I felt so handsome at that time. . .

Looking back after running, she got on a BMW and threw away her umbrella. . .

18, my cousin invited her favorite boy to dinner, so I gave her advice in advance. Boys like delicate girls. Pretend to have a cockroach while eating, and then jump into his arms. That's basically it. ?

So when she was eating, she pretended to see a cockroach, threw herself into the boy's arms and said, I'll go to Mahler Gobi, such a big cockroach scared me to death! ?

19, coming back from dinner with friends at night, I saw someone burning paper at a crossroads. A friend asked, isn't today April Fool's Day? Why do people still burn paper?

Maybe the voice was a little high, and the burnt paper heard it, he replied, just kidding. . .

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