It's a bit shocking.

1. Blood needs to be drawn in the morning. The nurse who pricked 1 needle said I was too fat to find blood vessels. The nurse who received the second injection said that my skin was too thick to penetrate. The nurse who received the third injection said that the first two nurses were new here.

2. During the Lantern Festival, someone made such an allegorical saying "Zhang Fei met Li Kui jy-". Several people from different professions went on to say: Historian: Disappearing things! Meteorologist: It's thundering! Screenwriter: heroes cherish heroes! Policeman: Black to black!

When Bian Que saw Cai Huangong, there was a room. Bian Que said: You have a disease in your body. If you don't treat it, you will be afraid. Huan Hou said: I am not sick. Bian Que: Take two steps! Take two steps without illness!

4.a was reading a newspaper when suddenly he said to A Dai nearby, "A Dai, there is news about your hometown in the newspaper!" ! A Dai asked with interest: Really? Where is it? A Dai picked up the newspaper and read: "Astronomers can watch the wonders of Mars rushing to the sun tonight" ... 5. Mom is watching TV, and Dad is asleep on the sofa ... The voice of the TV series: I'm leaving. Dad: What are you going to do? Sit down for a while. Mom: ....

6. In ancient times, there was a small country. Due to frequent wars, the national treasury was exhausted. The emperor hurriedly summoned the minister of the DPRK and ordered the confiscation of his property for military expenditure. The minister is unwilling but afraid to disobey. He just timidly asked, "There are so many ministers in the DPRK, why me?" The emperor walked up to him, patted him on the shoulder and said, "Because I love Qing, I won't be sad easily ..."

7. One day, a boiled egg touched an fried egg. The fried egg said, "Brother Egg, don't make the egg too slippery." Then boiled the egg and said, "Brother Egg, you can't make the egg too oily." Fried eggs ... eight. Once, when a girl was on a business trip and suddenly had something urgent, she went to a toilet and asked a man at the door of the toilet, "Sir, is this a women's toilet?" The man replied, "I don't know. I've never been there. I want to go in and have a look." ..."

9. The old man said: Huashan talked about swords that day. First, he raised his ecstatic palm and broke my 72-way empty fist. Then I hit the dragon with eighteen palms instead, but it didn't prevent him from reaching out the index finger and middle finger of his right hand. In fact, the six-pulse Excalibur Shang Yang Jian and Zhong Chong Jian are better than me. It can be seen that the martial arts in the world contain each other, and the martial arts are mysterious! The boy was dazzled by this and was about to ask again when the old lady scolded him: guess a fist if you get it right, so awesome!

10. The painter went to the lake to sketch and saw the elegant goldfish rippling on the lake. He knew quite well, spread out the drawing paper and began to draw. In order to draw more carefully without running the goldfish, he leaned on the goldfish bit by bit. More and more clear ... Finally, I saw it clearly, and there was a spell in my mouth: "God, who lost the sausage bag ..."

1 1. A farmer likes telling jokes. One day, a group of people were chatting and he told jokes. When he finished, everyone said, "This joke is too light." (meaning boring). He went on to say, "I saw a dung picker at the gate of the city this morning, and accidentally slipped, and a load of dung spilled all over the floor." Everyone said, "This is weak, too." The man smiled and asked, "How do you know it's weak if you haven't tasted it?"

12. Grandma Zhang said to Grandma Wang, "Sister, I don't know if I should tell you something. Your Mr. Liu seems to be sixty-eight? " Others say that he is often seen walking behind beautiful young women. Why is there no response at all? "Grandma wang said," nothing! He is almost seventy years old, so let him follow if you like! Doesn't our dog like chasing cars, too? Even if it catches up, will he really drive?

13. It's almost Valentine's Day. Last night, I was shopping downstairs. The boss asked me, "Does Mr. Wang buy flowers?" "Why buy flowers?" "Buy flowers for your girlfriend!" What, buy flowers for your girlfriend? Give me a hundred! "Then the boss silently took the flowers back. ...

14. A man accidentally fell while walking. He just climbed a few steps and fell down again, so he said to himself, "If I had known I would fall down again, I wouldn't have got up just now."

15. An old lady called the police: "Sir! There is a naked man in the opposite building. " Don't be afraid, madam. We'll be there soon. A few minutes later, Mr. A rushed to the scene and asked, "Where is the naked man?" The old lady said, "It's in the opposite building. "Sir Ah stuck his head out and looked at it. He said with a puzzled face," Where is it? "I didn't see it," said the old lady. "You can see it with a telescope."

16. Today, on the roadside, a girl came over and looked like a college student. I seem to want to ask the way. I came up and called: uncle ... I'll go ... I'm not yet thirty years old. Where is it like an uncle? So I clenched my fists: Sister-in-law, what's the matter?

17. A person was transfused in the hospital, and when he lost, he began to laugh wildly. Others asked him what he was laughing at. He said, "I laughed a little (low) ..."

18. Today, the computer always has a blue screen. I am computer-illiterate, so I have no choice but to call my good friend to check. He came to watch for ten minutes. Then ask me, is this monitor made of Hali6? I didn't catch it clearly, so I casually replied "En". Then he said, Harbin No.6 Pharmaceutical Factory produces blue screens ... I:

19. Fishing by the lake, my buddy asked me, "How big is the biggest fish you caught?" "Have you seen the movie Jaws?" "yes." "It's about the size of a dvd box ..."

20. Two young women are chatting. "I found a good way to cut onions without tears." "Really?" Tell me how to cut it? " "Let my husband cut it."