What’s the best slap-in-the-face story you know?

When I was a child, my parents divorced and they put me at my grandma’s house. No one cared about me and I skipped classes every day. One day my mother went to school on a whim to find me, but she saw me at the door skipping class with my schoolbag on my back. She asked the head teacher, is it not a big problem for the child to take one exam? (She didn’t have a correct understanding of my academic performance at all) The head teacher said disdainfully that there was no hope at all, and he was destined to go to jail in the future! Following her auspicious words, I have been a prison guard for twenty years, and I was admitted with the first place in the exam.