Classic funny sentences

1. Tian’s family of three went to his father-in-law’s house to have a meal. During the meal, the father-in-law said to the little Loli: Why do you have the nerve to come here so often to eat... The little Loli replied casually: You My daughter eats at our house every day, how can you be so embarrassed... Nowadays, children are almost crazy, right?

2. My classmate went out to play with the girl and drank a little in the evening , the girl couldn’t say anything back. . So he checked into a room. It is said that at night the girls took the initiative to hold his hand and put it on his waist, while his classmates did nothing. . The girl is going to fall in love with him the next day, and it has been more than two years now. . . The girl recalled that she used this method to test several men, just like finding an honest one, and only my classmate passed the test. . . . . I'm a little confused, I just want to know what those who are not qualified do.

3. There was an old lady with gray hair who went to the barber shop to dye her hair and was told 80. The old lady said: too expensive. , does half dyeing make it 40? The boss said, yes, as long as you are willing. "Then dye my white hair black. There is no need to dye my black hair." Boss... What a sensible old man! 4. One day I was taking a taxi. After getting in the car, the driver listened to jokes on the radio. He kept laughing. He smiled and suddenly stopped laughing, and then looked at me with very innocent eyes. He said, the person who took the bus just now didn’t give me any money...I instantly felt internal injuries

5. I was so hungry. The only thing I could eat at home now was dog food. I couldn’t help but eat a few. It tasted pretty good, and the dog at home woke up when he heard the sound of the bag, squatting next to it and staring at me with his head tilted! Can’t I eat a few of the ones I spent money on?

6. This year I am a sophomore in high school. Brother Meng and my sister are seven years older than me. They graduated from the Normal University this year. My sister has been very mysterious since she returned from graduation during the summer vacation. She makes me laugh when she looks at me. I found out the result when school started last week, she became my English teacher! Alas, my girlfriend can only say goodbye

7. There is a little cousin who is a computer fan when he is six years old. . . My uncle left for work in the morning. Before going out, he said to his little cousin: Do your homework well today. After you finish, I will let you play on the computer for an hour. When my uncle came home at noon and saw him playing, he asked his cousin: Is your homework done? The cousin lowered his head, sighed and replied: "Stop talking, I don't want to play on the computer today." . . Cousin, you can do it. . .

8. Yesterday I received a strange phone call... I cut a thief... It was from my boyfriend, saying, "Daughter-in-law, I lost my phone. Stop sending me text messages." I was To comfort me, this guy said again, "Don't send money, I'm just worried about your family. Everyone else is fine, you're so stupid!" Well, you called me specifically to say I was stupid, and you deserved to lose your phone -_-"

9. The company boss said at the regular meeting on Thursday that few people read his emails (if you delete them without opening them, there will be a prompt. ), he scolded everyone and asked everyone to read his email. ----End of background. Last Friday, I heard that a weird guy not only read it, but also replied with "read". I don't know if he can still read it on Monday. Have you seen him...

10. When I saw him walking into the wrong classroom in my second year of high school, I remember that when I walked in an extra floor, I didn’t recognize anyone, so I reached out and touched the blackboard slot. , looked at the trash can, walked around and pretended to check the hygiene, and smiled and said hello to my acquaintances. Afterwards, my friend asked me why I started checking the hygiene.

11. I just read a paragraph that said a wife is a road and a friend is a cow. There will only be one road in your life. Don’t go the wrong way when you are rich. Don’t sell the cows when you are short of money. . The answer is: What if the cow is on the road? 12. There is a girl born in the 1990s. For no reason, I ran to the office director and asked: Director, does pregnancy during work count as a work-related injury? Emma has a lot of information...

13. On the bus, a man about 40 years old pooped He was holding a little girl about 11 or 12 years old, and the little girl said: "Principal Wang, I want to eat a sundae." At this time, the eyes of everyone in the car were focused on the man, and some even took out their phones to take pictures or Call 110. At this time, the man said to the little girl in embarrassment: "This child, call the principal at school, and call him daddy when he comes out."

14. On the first day after my wife got her driver's license, she went on the road and sat in the passenger seat. I was terrified while driving. I took the wrong road, ran a red light, made sharp turns... everything happened.

My wife even said excitedly: "Look at how fast I drive, no other car can pass me." "A broken car is crossing two lanes and it's still spinning. Who dares to pass me?" I shouted angrily.

15. Boyfriend: “Do you like the birthday gift I gave you?” Girlfriend: “Yeah, it’s pretty, I like it!” Boyfriend: “Really, why don’t you take it with me? ?” Girlfriend: “Didn’t I tell you just now? The thief liked it and it was stolen.” 16. A man in the company is naturally stupid, and a beautiful woman came to him just now... We were all very gossipy. I asked, who is this beauty? When did you meet? How old are you? Naturally, she explained that she was my sister, my biological sister, half a year younger than me. . . My biological sister who is half a year younger... shocked our entire office!

17. In the office, the teacher handed me 10 yuan and said softly: "Put a cover on your phone." I clutched the Nokia I bought three years ago and muttered: "Teacher, I My phone is broken and I can’t use it.” The teacher sighed and put the money into my hand: “Take it, we can use it on the classroom floor.”

18. A soldier from the cooking class picked up a puppy while training outside. The puppy kept barking at night. I fed him meat and it barked again. The squad leader just happened to be passing by. I pointed at the puppy and said, call the squad leader quickly, and the squad leader will give you meat to eat. The squad leader said domineeringly, "Call me daddy, and tell daddy to give you meat to eat." . . . . . I felt so loved instantly.