Others say our children

Others say about our children

Others say about our children. Children’s education is a very complicated issue. How to teach children is also a science. They must be well guided on their growth journey. Let's let our children grow up healthily. Let's take a closer look at what happens when others say our children are "naughty" and "not well-behaved".

You must smile and ask apologetically: "Is this child bothering you again?" However, if someone else says "This child is so rude", everyone's temper will explode instantly and they will immediately attack each other - —"What are you talking about? What is impolite!"

The label "impolite" is too destructive. It not only denies the child himself in terms of personality traits, but also expresses contempt for the child's family. , Insult, this is basically unacceptable to all parents. In fact, we ourselves are also very tired of "rude" people

Nor do we want our children to become "rude" "Lack of self-cultivation". When a writer mentioned this issue, he said something very profound and specific: "Not being greedy for cheap means being self-cultivation; dealing with favors is self-cultivation."

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Story 1:

A friend’s child’s 100th day passed. My mother came home happily for an appointment. When she came home at noon, she looked unhappy. I said what’s wrong with her? He said: "Don't talk about it, it's quite a happy event. The atmosphere was no longer disturbed by these two strange people."

It turned out that they started the banquet a little late in the afternoon, and everyone was a little bit nervous. Hungry. When the meal was served, the waiter first brought several plates of small desserts such as tender beef and meat dumplings. When people at the table were about to use their chopsticks, unexpectedly, a mother stretched out her hand and pulled the beef and mutton next to her child: " Is the kid hungry? Eat something quickly!"

This kid was also rude. He ate up all the beef and mutton in three or four bites, and then poured more than half of a plate of fried shrimp into his plate... The people at the table held up their wooden chopsticks in the air for about ten seconds in embarrassment, and then put them down with a smile: "The child is really hungry, let him eat first."

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, my son. My appetite has improved, and I will definitely grow taller in the future!" The mother encouraged her child while watching him eat, without feeling anything inappropriate at all. In the end, the child didn’t eat half of the large plate full of items, so he shouted that he was full and ran to play...

Finally, the main dish was served. Everyone can finish it comfortably now. ? As a result, before taking two bites, another mother suddenly took out a packaging bag, inserted two lion heads into the bag, sealed it and said, "My son didn't come today. He really likes to eat the lion heads made by the restaurant!" After that, I also installed items several times for the same reason...

After listening to my mother's account, I was really surprised. Logically speaking, this is not an era of lack of food and drink. Have these two mothers gone too far? ! Even if you want to take advantage, you still call your child's name all the time. This bad habit can be learned by your child!

A child who has been greedy for petty advantages since he was a child often does not have many friends around him, and his personality will become more and more self-centered. When you enter society in the future, it is easy to give a bad impression to your friends, which will greatly affect your relationship with others and your work development.

Short story 2:

Last week I took a train to Guangdong. In the carriage there was a boy and a little girl of about the same age. They met by fate, but they played very speculatively.

They first played at the boy’s mother’s place. The boy’s mother took out two beautiful matcha cakes and divided one into each other. The little girl caught her and said dirtyly: “Thank you, big sister!” The two of them ran away with a smile and squeezed to the little girl's mother's side, eating noodles and watching animations on their mobile phones.

The little girl’s mother picked out the two larger apples from the bag and gave one to each of them.

When the boy received the iPhone, his expression suddenly became anxious and a little at a loss. He turned around and ran to his mother and said: "Mom, mother, the eldest sister gave me an apple!"

< p> "Oh, did you forget to say thank you to auntie?" Oh! "The boy woke up from a dream, ran to the little girl's mother again, and said seriously: "Thank you, sister!"

From then on, the boy actively passed on his other snacks to the little girl* The little girl also took out her own delicious food to share with the boy. During the exchange of snacks between the two children, their happy and fateful friendship continued all the way until the boy. When the family arrived at the station, they reluctantly separated...

I was very envious of these two children. They were simple and innocent, and they could maintain friendship along the way with just a few simple snacks. I admired these two children very much, They did not hesitate at all when they enjoyed their respective snacks; they also admired these two mothers for their excellent education, which allowed the two children to learn to share and understand exchange

There is no selfishness. The heart of profit. There is a saying that is right: "The cultivation of parents is the cultivation of children. "

Self-cultivation has nothing to do with rich or poor, it is only related to the key points of daily life.

1. If you are handed out leaflets by others on the street, if you can throw them away, please do not do it in front of others.

2. When entering or exiting a public place, if there are many people behind you, please hold the door open.

3. Don’t hang up in a hurry when talking on the phone. , wait for the other party to hang up first.

4. When crossing the road, be sure to wait for the traffic light without looking at your phone.

5. When walking the cat or dog, do not wait. Let the dog defecate in the right direction and clean it up on its own.

6. When giving sharp tools such as scissors and watermelon knives to others, keep the handles facing the other way.

7. When eating with others, don’t rummage through the dishes.

8. When taking the escalator, stand to the right.

9. Don’t do it without others’ consent.

10. Don’t cough or sneeze at others, nor at the table.

11. If you are listening to music, do it when talking to others. Take off your mobile phone headphones. Others say that praising children will make them smarter! Praise your children more, and they will be more confident and optimistic in the future. However, you also need to pay attention to the method and intensity of praise. Not just simple praise! Of course, in reality, not so many parents can affirm their children's intelligence

They often think that children should not praise too much, but should be more modest and restrained, so as not to She will be proud. "Tongtong plays the piano really well. She must have practiced very seriously, right?" Mom replied: No, she plays in a mess! She just plays casually, and I don't expect her to play well in the future!

"Xiangxiang's painting is very interesting and full of ideas. I want to be a little painter in the future, right?" Mom answered: Barely! There's still a long way to go! I wasn't serious at all in class. It’s just that she is distracted! Lily dances very energetically. Do you like dancing very much?”

Mom answered: Just so-so. What’s wrong with her? I just let her learn to dance because she was too noisy. Yes, just jump around. Every time a child praises other people's children, the children's eyes always shine, and when they are waiting for a reply, they will always encounter some "humbleness" and "courtesy" from their parents

It extinguishes the children's full self-confidence. A bucket of cold water is thrown on the heart that longs for praise. Most parents are actually happier than anyone else when they see their children making certain progress, but they always say a few duplicitous words in front of their children. Little do they know that just because of such words, it is most likely to ruin a child.

Examples like this are very common in life, but most parents are not aware of the seriousness of the problem! Once, I went to a friend's house as a guest, and my friend's son Junjun was playing Lego. Junjun was working on his creation by himself, and finally he pieced together a shape similar to an airplane, with more complicated layers.

When he showed it to the uncles and aunts present, everyone admired the child’s creativity and hands-on ability.

"Junjun, can this plane take my aunt home?" "Junjun, the plane is very well made. It must have taken a lot of time, right? Junjun, do you want to take everyone to play with it?"

However, when Junjun wanted to reply to the uncles and aunts’ questions with a proud expression, his friend said: I usually know how to spell randomly, but I don’t spell it in a disciplined manner! I lose things all day long. It’s such a mess and it’s so troublesome to clean up! He just knows how to play without drawing!

In an instant, Junjun’s expression was obviously unbearable. He didn’t answer and stopped letting everyone appreciate his work. He walked away silently with a gloomy expression.

It can be seen that the child was full of expectations for everyone to appreciate the "results" he had spent all his energy on, and finally got everyone's praise, but in the end he was not recognized by his mother. It can be seen how hurt the child was at that time!

Perhaps, the parents are just "unforgiving", they just hope to inspire their children through such answers, and they just want to express humility. But they ignore: Most confident children want to express themselves. In fact, they also have strong self-esteem, and they also desire to be appreciated by their parents and others.

When their small progress and small results are ignored, they often lose the direction of their efforts. You know, children are still young and their minds are not yet mature, so they need to rely on adults' evaluation to find their own position. However, your excessive modesty can easily make them believe it!

In the long run, it will only make them reject painting, dancing, calligraphy, and piano practice, thinking that no matter how much they practice, they are still just " The status of "average", "not very good" and "far from good" will lead to loss of self-confidence over time.

Dear parents, when others praise your children, don’t be too "hypocritical". Give affirmation promptly and give correct praise. This will allow your children to develop better mentally. And praise also pays attention to methods. Stanford University professor Carol Dweck mentioned:

Praising a child’s talent rather than his efforts, strategies and choices is slowly killing his growth. Thinking! Growth thinking is relative to fixed thinking. People with a fixed mindset always believe that their minds and abilities are quantitative and will not change; while people with a growth mindset believe that abilities can be improved through their own efforts.

Therefore, I hope everyone can protect their children’s growth mindset! When praising your children or responding to praise from others, you can try to use the following 15 contexts:

1. You work very hard! (Praise for hard work)

2. Although it is difficult, you never give up. (Praise for persistence)

3. Your attitude towards doing things is very good. (Praise for attitude)

4. You have made a lot of progress in ______! (Praise for details)

5. This method is really innovative! (Praise for creativity)

< p>　6. You work great with your friends! (Praise for cooperation)

7. You are responsible for this matter well! (Praise for leadership)

8. You are not afraid of difficulties at all, it is so rare! (Praise for courage)

9. You helped _____ complete her task, which is great! (Praise for enthusiasm)

10. You did such a good job of tidying up your room/books. (Praise for responsibility)

11. I believe in you because ______. (Praise for credit)

12. You performed well in participating in the event today! (Praise for participation)

13. You attach great importance to the opinions of others, which is very good. (Praise for humility)

14. I’m so glad you made such a choice. (Praise choice)

15. You remember _____! What a great idea! (Praise for carefulness)

Next time, when someone praises your child, don’t be so modest. The reply is so-so, just so-so. Choose to give him affirmation generously! Don’t be stingy with words of praise for your child’s growth.