Urgent need, please read the English version of the joke, thank you

1, two students fell asleep with books. The teacher saw it and shook the students he didn't like. He severely criticized: "Look at you, you fell asleep with books. Look at Zhang Ming, you fell asleep with books!" 2. A girl in our class is sitting in the back row listening to the "Walkman", and her ears are so loud. She said to her deskmate, "Teacher, come and say hello to me." Almost all the students heard it, even the teacher who wrote on the blackboard was no exception. The teacher looked back at the classmate and said, "I can't go there!" " During the two Mid-Autumn Festival, my pager suddenly screamed during class, and the teacher confiscated it. In the afternoon, the teacher asked me to go to the office and ate me up, and asked me to write a 2000-word examination paper. Finally, after the training, the teacher touched the table with his finger and said, "Take it back." At that time, I was dizzy everywhere. I looked up at a box of beautifully packaged cakes on the table (in fact, it was a welfare given to the teacher by the school). I was so grateful that I completely forgot my BP machine, pushed up the cake and ran away ... The teacher came out slowly, whose "ah"1... 4. In high school, a school leader had a strong local accent. One day at noon, he broadcast it at school and said, "Rooster, please call all the offices and chickens to waste." Everyone is wondering, why does the school pay benefits twice every three days? Later, I learned that the original words should be: notice notice, please all faculty and staff to the branch for a meeting.