A few funny stomachache jokes, thanks

Laughing wildly! The classroom classic retorts and angers the teacher

In the advanced mathematics class, the teacher was writing furiously on the blackboard, and there was a commotion below. The teacher couldn't bear it: students, please keep your voice down!

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A buddy said: Teacher, you will get used to it gradually! Teacher FAINT!

The whole high school must wear uniforms. . One repeat student never wears it. . . The teacher in charge of this aspect squats at the door every day to check. .

One day. . The teacher saw that this student was not wearing school uniform. . Ask him why he doesn't wear it. . This classmate was furious and said: My mother is not dead. . Why should we wear mourning clothes? .

The teacher sweated to death. . .

The teacher asked the class, "I want to say one last thing...",

A strong man in the back row loudly said, "It's not sweet to force melons!", the whole place was silent... …

The teacher’s face was livid: “…get out of class is over”…sweat…

I remember doing geometry in junior high school, and the math teacher was furious~~ He smashed two books on the podium: “** , ***How ??come your two answers are the same? Plagiarism...￥.#.￥!!!!!!!"

Just listen The following whispered: "Gentlemen see the same thing."

In junior high school, I liked a few boys to flutter butterflies after class (it's really boring to think about it now). As a result, one classmate got too excited and when the bell rang, the math The teacher called

He didn't answer several times. After 5 minutes of class, the classmate ran to the door and shouted a report

The teacher said angrily: "I just call a dog, and it will wag its tail!"

The classmate answered in a low voice. To: "I don't have a tail..." The whole class burst into laughter, and even the teacher couldn't help it...

One of my brothers was in a high-level mathematics class, and the teacher asked: "Calculus is very useful. What is our goal in learning calculus?

My brother: No cavities!

The teacher in the Chinese class said: In fact, weasels do not eat chickens, they are scientists After

experiment, a chicken and a weasel were once locked together.

Guess what happened the next day?

The classmate continued: The chicken is pregnant

We took the exam yesterday and we were not allowed to copy on the 4th floor. As a result, we were all waiting outside and someone secretly passed the answers to the students inside through the back door. Supervisor

The PP teacher who took the exam stared at the student at the back door

He looked at the student and said anxiously, "What are you looking at? Don't you have a partner?"

One day, there were two politics classes in a row. No one wiped the blackboard after the first period. When the politics teacher saw the second period, he asked angrily: "Why don't the students on duty wipe the blackboard?"

At this time, a very confident voice said: "Whoever pollutes it will be treated!" The whole class laughed, and the teacher was so angry that his face looked like a crab

In the third grade of junior high school, a painting teacher was slightly famous, and there was an article in a newspaper I wrote a larger report with photos, so I boasted in class: "Recently, some classmates always tell me, teacher, you are so good, you have been published in newspapers and even published photos. ..."

Me: "Is this a revelation?"

Result: The teacher glared at me for at least 5 minutes and then lectured.

High school senior, geometry teacher , a BT old lady who likes to brag and is very annoying. One day in class: "I am very popular in the Municipal Education Bureau. They always invite me to study problems together. Every time." "They are all picked up by car...and delivered by car" (Note: This old lady is from the south and deliberately paused here to emphasize her tone).

Me: "Three-wheelers?"

< p>Result: I was banned from taking geometry classes from now on.

When I was in high school, my English teacher (a middle-aged woman in her 10s and 50s) thought some of us boys were not listening, so she yelled: "What are you thinking?" What?"

"I miss you!" I replied.

After the teacher was silent for a while, he pointed at me

and cursed: You are just one Stinky hooligan!

When I was in high school, I took a labor class for the first time. The teacher was an old man and he introduced himself: "My name is Wu Shushan. "

I immediately said, "Looking northwest to Chang'an, there are countless mountains."

The whole class burst into laughter, the teacher looked livid, and he was punished to do heavy work.

Han~~~~ Press: "Looking northwest to Chang'an, there are countless pitiful mountains" excerpted from Xin Qiji's "Bodhisattva Man Shu Jiangxi Ostomy Wall"

In Chinese class, the teacher woke up a sleeping classmate When answering the question, the student was confused and couldn't say anything...

The teacher said: "Can you do it? Just say something if you don't know it!"

The student: "Squeak."

Teacher...sweat.

In a photography class, a classmate photographed two children playing around next to the fountain

The teacher asked: "What is this scene?"

Below There was a sentence: "Mandarin ducks playing in the water."

Everyone laughed wildly~~~~~

I think our high school mathematics teacher is the most classic. A girl in my class was in the back row, listening to her Walkman again. Her ears were blocked so she spoke loudly. She said to her classmate: "Teacher, come here and tell me." Almost all the students heard it.

The teacher was no exception. He looked at the classmate and said: I can’t make it.

In Chinese class, a classmate in the last row actually used a tape recorder to play Zhou Huajian. The song, Heng Qing,

After the teacher vaguely heard it, he asked "Who is singing?... Stop singing"

We are sweating heavily below,

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The teacher still asked, but no one answered, so the teacher came down

to look at them one by one. . . Then he came next to this classmate (the tape recorder had been turned off), patted this classmate on the shoulder and said, "Don't sing in class."

. . . . Laughing wildly

The principal made an ideological report at the flag-raising ceremony: "...I am the son of the Chinese people."

The students below "I am the Chinese people"

Once, my classmate was late for class. The teacher asked him where he was. He replied without thinking: "He went to poop."

Everyone laughed,

The teacher said: Can you say it more politely?

He thought for a while and replied: I went to the bathroom~

We laughed wildly~~~

Haha, we were in high school soon I took the college entrance examination and took a geography class. The teacher was on top.

We gave a place name and we answered about minerals below. We talked about many places.

The teacher suddenly asked: "Jiangnan" What was born?"

All the boys in the class answered in unison: "

A beautiful girl was born in Jiangnan!!

During the self-study class, the academic director came in and asked the monitor "Find me two people, I want the class beauties."

So the squad leader organized the whole class to vote for the class beauties. After a class, they finally unified their opinions and selected the best in the class. The two girls from PL,

So the two girls shyly went to the director, and the director said, "Follow me to the Academic Affairs Office, I want to move the flowers..."

Sitting in the last seat I sleep in the row next to the back door of the classroom. Every time get out of class is over, my deskmate wakes me up, and then I walk straight out of the classroom to soak up the sunshine.

During a certain class, the teacher asked me to answer a question for the first time. I was woken up by my deskmate while I was sleeping. I stood up and pushed the door open and walked out of the classroom.

Five minutes later, I was in the classroom I felt that the environment was strange, so I hurried back to the classroom. All the teachers and students looked frightened.

My high school politics teacher said in class: "Capitalist developed countries, especially the United States, always bully other countries when they become strong.

We

socialist China will not do this. Even if it becomes strong, we will not bully others..."

My deskmate continued: "Don't bully others. How do others know whether they are strong or not?"

The whole class burst into laughter and the teacher went berserk!!!

When I was in my third year of high school, once, the math teacher arrived very late for a tutoring class. When I was there, he told us: "It turns out that after the college entrance examination, I would sit on the bridge in front of the school every day and wait for the results. If your results were good, I would be very happy."

Me: "If you don't get good grades, jump off the bridge immediately!" The voice was not loud, I was only going to tell my classmates to listen, but I didn't expect that because the classroom was too quiet at the time, everyone heard it.< /p>

The whole class burst into laughter, and the teacher was speechless

I remember that during the VC class, the teacher’s phone suddenly rang, and the teacher said, “Hey~~ ~~~~~~~",

I said "Xiao Li"

When I was in high school, there was an experiment to replace silver in chemistry~

At that time One of my classmates succeeded in the replacement~ He shouted: Teacher! There is really money coming out! Then he said: Teacher~ why don’t you sell silver (**)? (Note: Teacher is female)

< p>The teacher didn’t hear it and replied: Selling silver is not something you can do casually. It requires the permission of the state...