Joke kite

A mother took a taxi to pick up her daughter from junior high school. After a certain section, the mother and daughter saw a group of coquettish girls standing on the roadside "doing business". Adolescent daughter curiously ask:

Mom, what are those women doing standing on the side of the road? In order not to affect her daughter's innocent mind, the mother replied, "Those women are waiting for their husbands. The talkative taxi driver replied, "That's funny. Everyone knows that those women are prostitutes. " Deng Ma gave the driver a hard look. The daughter then asked, "Mom, will that prostitute have children?" "Mom said coldly," Of course, otherwise who will drive the taxi! 」

2

One day, a lady went to buy meatballs.

Miss: Boss, I want two small ones to go!

Because business was good, after a while, the boss was afraid of making mistakes in his busy schedule, so he asked before cooking:

Miss? Are those two small?

The young lady blushed and replied bitterly, Boss, your two pills are small!

three

There is a woman who is pink. I'm sorry ... even if she is ugly, she is super rude. ..

Once, I was arranged on a blind date. ..

But the hero didn't appear .. The woman was impatient. ..

I started swearing .. Wow, Li Le .. How dare you keep your mother waiting for so long ..&; % $ & amp^$%#@! $! % .. criticized a bunch of miles. ..

At this moment, the hero appeared. He is a fat man. ..

This woman was even more angry after seeing it ... so she scolded a bunch of people ... pointing at the hero and cursing ... the fat man ...% $ @ #&; ..

The hero finally got angry. ..

Strike the table. Say it loudly. ..

Call me fat ... Heng ... At least I've lost weight ... You, you, you, you ... Have you ever been beautiful? ...

four

One day, President Lee accidentally fell into a ditch. Three children happened to pass by.

President Li said to them, "If you save me, I will give each of you a wish."

The first child said that he wanted a bike.

The second child said that he wanted a baseball glove.

The third child thought for a long time and said that he wanted a wheelchair.

President Li felt very strange in his heart. His hands and feet are fine. Why does he need a wheelchair?

He asked the third child, "Why do you want a wheelchair? 」

The third child said, "My father will break my leg if he knows that I saved you."

five

Three people went to the breakfast shop to buy breakfast.

The first man said to the boss, "Boss, I want an fried egg, but no yolk." 」

The boss fried an egg according to this.

The second man also said to the boss, "Boss, I want an fried egg, but no egg whites." 」

The boss did the same, but he began to get impatient.

When it was the third person's turn, the boss asked him rudely, "What about you? What don't you want for your eggs? 」

The third man said timidly, "I ... I don't want eggshells ..."

six

Buy underwear

One day, a gentleman went to buy underwear for his wife. Because he has never bought underwear for his wife, he doesn't know which size to buy!

After chatting with the clerk for a long time, the clerk had to describe the fruit!

Shop assistant: papaya? ! Sir: No! Don't!

Shop assistant: apples? ! Sir: No, no, no.

Shop assistant: Lotus mist? ! Sir: smaller!

Shop assistant: eggs? ! Mr. Wang said happily: Yes! Yes! Yes!

When the clerk understood and turned to get the underwear, the man suddenly shouted, Miss, wait a minute! It's fried

seven

What a scolding.

Xiao Du and Xiao Hao quarreled this day …

Komori said dismissively, "Hum! Your mother should have strangled you when she gave birth to you! 」

Not to be outdone, Xiao Hao said with extremely contemptuous eyes, "Really? I think your dad should just shoot at the wall! 」

Xiao Du: "? . ? 」

eight

A 70-year-old mother and three elderly people of the same age were sitting in a car and driving slowly on the provincial road. The traffic police stopped him and said, "Mom, if you drive so slowly, it will affect the traffic."

The driver's mother said, "Isn't that sign saying 20? 」

The traffic police said, "That's Highway 20! 」

The mother who was driving said, "Oh! Oh! What kind of highway is that? It's not a speed limit! 」

The traffic police said: "Yes, doubt ~? Why are the other three mothers behind you so ugly? 」

The mother who was driving replied, "We just drove here from Highway 245! 」

nine

Wet dream!

In the bookstore, Ah Zhu suddenly brightened up. She saw a book called Dreams on the Grassland.

Oh, my God! "wet dream" actually landed, which is amazing!

Hurriedly call jen, jen also excitedly opened it and took a closer look. They suddenly found that the directory read:

"Dream, stay on the grassland. 」

Arjun was disappointed and said unhappily, I will publish a book called "The Moon often hangs in the sky" in the future.

10

caterpillar

Two caterpillars are crawling on the grass. The male caterpillar said to the female caterpillar, shall we go back? How about going home?

Mother caterpillar said, ok!

When the pair of caterpillars returned to the mother's house, the male caterpillar found that the mother caterpillar was wearing a wedding ring.

The male caterpillar said, I don't do this with the married female caterpillar.

Mother caterpillar said, don't worry! My husband is not coming back,

The male caterpillar said, how can you be so sure!

Mother caterpillar said, "He got up early today" and went fishing.

1 1

When a man passed a house, a used condom suddenly flew down from the second floor window and landed on his head.

The man felt sick and angry, so he went to the door of the house and knocked hard at the door.

An old man opened the door and asked him why he knocked so hard.

Someone asked, "Who lives on the second floor?"

The old man replied, "What does this have to do with you? My daughter and her fiance live on it. "

The man handed the condom to the old man and said, "Well, I just want to tell you that your grandson fell from the window!" " "