Funny thing about shoes?

One day, in the male dormitory of a university, a handsome guy lost a pair of love shoes. I've looked everywhere, but I can't find it. The next morning, there was another notice at the entrance of the canteen. I saw a huge piece of white paper with a vivid picture of a turtle on it. There is a sentence below: "Don't think you can run fast with my shoes on!" " "

In the history class, the teacher introduced to the students that man evolved from monkeys. He said that it takes a long historical process for people to evolve from walking on all fours to walking on all fours. Then he asked the students, "What is the greatest advantage of human evolution from four limbs to walking on four limbs?"

A student stood up and replied, "You can save a pair of leather shoes! ! "

During the sports meeting, many runners borrowed running shoes from the sports group, saying that they could run faster. Before running, the class teacher finally borrowed a pair from the teacher and quickly changed it for my classmate Zhang Hua. Then he asked anxiously, "Are the shoes suitable?" Zhang Hua took a few steps and said solemnly, "The shoes are suitable, but the feet are a little big!" "

A man said to his boss after trying on shoes, "I like these shoes, but they are a little tight."

Boss: "Tighter. As the saying goes, one is straw sandals, and several are good shoes. Good shoes will be loose after wearing for a while, just right. "

A bought it.

After a while, B said, "I like these shoes, but they are too loose."

Boss: "Relax and put your feet up. It is not good to squeeze out bubbles when it is tight. Good shoes will be tighter and more fit after wearing for a while. "

B bought it.

C said, "These shoes fit me. I don't know what will happen if I wear it for a while? "

Boss: "Good for you! Good shoes will not go out of shape and can be worn. "

C bought it.

Ding, who was passing by, asked inexplicably, "How do you wear your shoes?"

Boss: "Just sell it. No matter whose feet will adapt to similar shoes. Can I say that my shoes are not good? "

Ding: "It's really a person who has two skins on his mouth and moves his speech."

Morrison bought a new pair of shoes, but she didn't wear them.

A week later, his wife asked him, "Why don't you wear those shoes?"

"You can wear it tomorrow. When buying shoes, the salesman told me that in the first week, these shoes would pinch a little. "

An old man plans to buy a pair of shoes. In order to cope with reciting quotations, he called his grandson who was in middle school, and two grandparents went to the store to buy shoes together.

When he arrived at the store, the old man said to his grandson, "Ask your uncle over there and see how to buy it."

Hearing this, a salesgirl came over and said, "Men and women are all the same. What do you want to buy? "

Sun Tzu said, "We have only finished the first step of the Long March. We need to buy a pair of walking shoes. "

The salesperson said: "The Red Army is not afraid of the expedition. Who do you want to wear it? "

Sun Tzu said, "The working class must lead everything, especially my grandfather."

The salesman took a pair of shoes and put them on the counter, saying, "Help yourself, have plenty of food and clothing, and pay."

Sun Tzu said, "How about strengthening discipline and making the revolution invincible?"

The clerk said, "Serving the people is 3.50 yuan."

Old Khan's shoes look ok, and I don't know if they fit, so I want to try them on.

At this time, the salesperson spoke: "You should think twice before you approve the maintenance, but you can't try."

At this time, Sun Tzu became anxious and said, "Our duty is to be responsible to the people. Why can't we have a try? "

The clerk said: "There is no room for compromise on the issue of route struggle, just can't try."

Later, when the old man saw that his grandson and the shop assistant were going to fight, he hurried forward and advised, "I want to fight, not fight." I won't buy it. "

President Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq. Unexpectedly, at the press conference, an angry Iraqi journalist suddenly took off his shoes and threw them at Bush. This picture spread all over the media, and the scene was embarrassing. However, President Bush skillfully resolved this embarrassing scene with his unique humor and wisdom.

1. The reporter asked: "What do you think of first when shoes fly to you?"

Bush said, "Think of it as the baseball they threw at me! Unfortunately, there is no club, otherwise it must be a home run! The big goal is definitely no problem! "

2. The reporter asked, "Secondly, what do you think?"

Bush replied: "I noticed that they are a pair of shoes, and the size is 10." If they are Christmas gifts for me, they are still a little small. "

3. "Are there any other ideas later?"

Bush replied, "I have reminded the world that the influence of China products is everywhere. I hope it is not made in China. "

4. "What do you want to say to this rude reporter?"

"You'd better see a podiatrist. Your feet stink! "

5. "What advice do you want to give to the Iraqi Prime Minister present?"

"Old man Maliki, you have already been shot!"

6. "What's your comment on the safety of this incident?"

"We should learn a lesson. The next press conference should be held on the bare beach, so that journalists have nothing to throw!"

7. "What is the impact of this incident on the financial crisis in the United States?"

"Let those financial idiots see what real investment is. This pair of shoes has been auctioned online for 500,000 US dollars! "

8. "Your term of office is coming. What will you do after you leave office? "

"I'm going to open a shoe factory, which will definitely sell well. The brand of shoes is TowardBush! "

When I walked into Wigan's shoe store, I was speechless. I was going to say, "How much are these shoes?" The export is: How much is this shoe a kilo? "[Kg]" forgot, it was "[Km]". When' tis once spoken, several Filipino salesgirls were dumbfounded, looked at each other, fell silent, and then burst into laughter.

When paying the money, the cashier has a calculator in his hand, which shows 68. I took out 70 pesos and added 8 steel jumps (I mean you just need to find me 10 pesos), but the cashier was at a loss, and the calculator pressed it dozens of times, but there was no result in the end, so I had to return it all, filled 70 pesos, and later made up 2 steel jumps. Compared with my poor English, I lost the face of China people, and the cashier's math is not so good.

The clerk handed the plastic bag, blushed, picked it up and left without looking. Go home and open it, two pairs!

My feet hurt after wearing it all day! Give someone away. I gave a pair to Ahlport Bagobas, a 23-year-old Filipino chef, and he wanted a second pair, which lasted for three days. I really insist. I took you there! It was not easy for your mother [38 years old, not 83 years old] to bring you up for eight sisters without a father. Take it!