Ask ten jokes that hurt your stomach!

1, my daughter went to the middle shift and bought her a pencil sharpener. On Saturday morning, she rolled up all the chopsticks at home.

2. The youngest son is naughty. Let him eat fish well at the dinner table: "Eat more, and be smart when eating fish."

He said, "No, all the people caught are idiots. . "

3. Watch two kindergarten children play a guessing game. One child takes a ping-pong ball and three cups, covers the cups in turn, and lets another child guess after the ball moves. Another child can always guess every game!

I looked at it and wanted to say: children, you can't play this game with a transparent cup! ! !

4. My son called his classmates' parents to take him to the haunted house, and he wanted to go, so I said, no, you are too young to scare you easily.

My son insisted on a family of three going to the haunted house on weekends. I thought the children would be afraid, but I didn't expect to shout "I thought ghosts were scary!" " Stop! Not as scary as when my mother is angry! ! !

Downstairs, Xiong Haizi just went to school and was very naughty.

Grandparents told him to study hard. He said, "What if I study hard and get admitted to Tsinghua?" ? I heard that tuition is very valuable. Can we afford it? "

His grandfather said: "study hard, you can afford it, don't worry!" " "

Xiong Haizi: "You are lying. I asked you for a dollar in the morning and you said our family had no money! " "

6. Today's children really can't teach.

Today, I said to my son, "People only come once, so cherish it."

The son actually replied: "Don't you know how to cherish it if you lose it?"

1, roommate bask in the quilt, the static electricity on the quilt shocked him. I didn't expect the goods to say: Don't you dare to shock me, believe it or not, I'll sleep with you at night. . .

In math class, everyone took out the cylindrical object that the teacher gave him yesterday, but only one male student didn't move. Teacher: Why didn't you bring it?

Male classmate: I brought two sausages for me to eat at noon.

3. The head teacher in junior high school is very strict. Two students play poker during the break. The teacher called them and one gave them a pair of scissors. The more broken, the better. After the inspection.

Seeing that the punishment was not great, the two men were happy to cut it. . .

Then I took it to the class teacher, who smiled and said to them, put it back.

When class is over, the teacher asks a student to help turn off the computer. I forgot my name and shouted to him, "Little Fatty, help the teacher turn off that row of computers."

The classmate turned around and said plaintively, "I'm not fat."

Teacher: "You are not fat? If you are not fat, what are you doing back? "

5. I asked a classmate who is a teacher: Does everyone say there is a love between teachers and students? Did I chase you?

The teacher said: whether anyone pursues is a matter of level, and accepting or not is a matter of personality; To be a teacher, one should not be low in level or bad in character.

Source: jokes.