Funny sentences with my wife

Humorous and funny sentences with my wife

In study, work or life, everyone knows some classic sentences. From the perspective of expression, sentences are the most basic unit of expression. So the question is, what kind of sentences are classic? The following are humorous and funny sentences about my wife that I have compiled for you. You are welcome to learn from them and refer to them. I hope they will be helpful to you.

Humorous and Funny Sentences with My Wife Part 1

1. Instead of planting grass so that people can lie on it, why not plant cacti instead!

2. I am a bit petty. , but not lacking; I have a good temper, but not without it!

3. The difference between humans and pigs is: pigs are always pigs, while humans are sometimes not humans!

4 , It turns out that as long as people are separated, no matter how familiar they are, they will gradually become alienated.

5. I went to a pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me if I wanted to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces? I thought about it and said: Let’s go with 8 pieces! I can’t finish 12 pieces!

< p> 6. When a man deceives a woman, it is called flirting; when a woman deceives a man, it is called seduction; when men and women deceive each other, it is called love.

7. The government thinks about how to collect taxes reasonably, the boss thinks about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I think about how to get more sleep reasonably!

8. Time is used for wandering, and the body It is for loving each other, life is for forgetting, and the soul is for singing.

9. Love is like a ghost. Many people believe it, but few people see it.

10. How far is eternity? Just get away as far as you can!

11. Encountering a writer’s signature: It may seem like it, but it may not necessarily be the case. I came across a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

12. Ever since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me anymore.

13. I want to fall in love early, but it’s too late.

14. Oh my god! My clothes have lost weight again.

15. The important task of the post-80s generation is to create the post-08 generation.

16. Others have a background, but I only have a back view.

17. Gold always shines, but when the ground is full of gold, I don’t know which one I am.

18. It is very important to remind everyone to learn to repair their own notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a person who could not repair his own notebooks... everyone knows what happened later. (Coming from the Edison Chen incident, there’s no need to say more about the reasons)

19. I’m not a fortune teller in the square, and I can’t talk as much as you like to hear.

20. It’s not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we demand too much from the story!

21. Flowers often belong not to the people admiring them, but to cow dung.

22. The difference between a lie and an oath is: one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the teller.

23. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with those people who try their best to make you end being single.

24. Sometimes, it’s not that the other person doesn’t care about you, but that you take the other person too seriously.

25. Even if you believe, there is a lie hidden in the middle. Humorous and Funny Sentences with Wife Part 2

26. Real good friends don’t have endless topics to talk about when they are together, but when they are together, even if they don’t talk, they won’t feel embarrassed.

27. There is no one with 100 points, only two people with 50 points!

28. Usually the person who is willing to stay and argue with you is the person who truly loves you. !

29. There is no rehearsal in life, every day is a live broadcast; not only the ratings are low, but the salary is not high.

30. Problems that can be solved with money are not problems, but the problem is that I am poor.

31. Only women and heroes have trouble, only wives and jobs are hard to find.

32. After meeting me, you will suddenly find out - ah, it turns out that handsome people can be so specific!

33. Ask a colleague: "Did you buy PetroChina?" My colleague said: "Bah! You just bought PetroChina.

Your whole family has bought PetroChina and Sinopec!"

34. I ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. When I ate the first one, I was shocked, "There are more unpalatable dishes in the world than this. "Is it?" After eating the second one, I cried, "It really is."

35. When the mouse shows its power, everyone becomes a sick cat.

36. People who visit brothels are still young. , please use Huiren Shenbao.

37. Listen to your words and save me ten books!

38. Make your appearance at the age of 0, and make progress every day at the age of 20. , Work hard at 40, be popular at 50, hang out at 70, hang on the wall at 90! When I take off my clothes, I am an animal, but when I put on clothes, I am a beast!

40. “Dear, I...I am pregnant...for three months, but don’t worry, it’s not yours, and you are not responsible... …”

41. We had a little disagreement: she wanted me to turn dirt into gold, and I wanted her to regard gold as dirt.

42. It’s better to spend half a year talking about Chinese than reading Chinese for 10 years. QQ.

43. I was lazy in bed in the morning, so I took out 6 coins from my pocket: If all six were heads, I would go to class! After thinking for a long time, I decided to forget it and don’t take the risk. This is dangerous...

44. I spent 80,000 yuan to buy a Western Zhou clay pot. Yesterday I went to the "Treasure Appraisal" column for appraisal. The expert said seriously: "How can this be from the Western Zhou Dynasty? Is this from the Western Zhou Dynasty?" Last week!"

45. I can tolerate a fake figure, a fake face, a fake breast, a fake butt!!! But I can’t tolerate money!!!!

46. A man pretends to be dead for the sake of his confidant, and a woman undergoes plastic surgery to please herself.

47. Don’t wait until everyone says you are ugly to find out that you are really ugly.

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48. Marriage notice: The requirements are as follows, A is alive, B is female.

49. Give me some sunshine and I will rot.

50. Eat appropriately. , I have the strength to lose weight. 3 Funny Sentences with My Wife

1. I have done a lot of stupid things, but I don’t care. My friends call it confidence.

2. I think I should lose weight. The last time I donated blood, I actually leaked 100 milliliters of lard.

3. I think as long as I have some modest qualities, I will be the best. A perfect person.

4. We always think that the brain is the most important organ of the human body, but don’t forget who made this judgment.

5. I pretended to work for my boss, and my boss pretended to pay me.

6. My wife and I hadn’t spoken for 18 months, and I had no chance to interrupt her.

7. I. My eyesight is very poor. For example, can you see the thumbtack on the wall over there? You can see it, but I can’t.

8. I never watch TV. I just always check whether there are any misprints of TV programs in newspapers.

9. Some people say that I am shameless. This is nonsense. How can I bear to give up such a handsome face?

10. Summer mosquitoes, I warn you, don’t touch my handsome face.

11. You have to know one thing before being with me. I have nothing except this handsome face.

12. Some people said I was handsome, but I thought about it all night and couldn’t figure out who leaked the news.

13. Let’s talk openly about anything. Don’t always say that I’m handsome or good-looking behind my back. Does it bother you? It’s like no one knows.

14. Can a handsome and talented rich man like me have to die alone?

15. People who say I am sick are jealous of my handsomeness and wit. ;