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The lines of the comic dialogue "Toilet"
A: (1) I read the newspaper some time ago, and people in the column generally reported that it was difficult to go to the toilet. When I thought about it, it was nothing. Public toilets are really hard to find in such a big city. If you build a public toilet in a busy area, it must be a profitable business. So I wrote a letter to my wife and got approval. My wife gave me the responsibility of being a director.
(Proud) director. (shaking to the opposite side) Hey! (coming back, with a little humility) A Good! (Shakes back) Hello, hello!
B: (carrying a briefcase) It's too difficult to invest in something, such as running a license, running materials, running water and electricity-cough! What can I do if I don't run away from these trivial things?
Yo, isn't this B-so? I am an old neighbor. I haven't seen you for years. What have you been up to recently?
B: Hey, Lao Jia, hello (holding hands). Where does the old neighbor live now?
I moved to Tiedong. Does old B still live in his old place?
B: I moved a long time ago and bought a three-bedroom apartment in Tiexi fairview park. Lao Jia, where do I work now?
A: (pause) Oh, I am now the head of a department under the Urban Construction Bureau, a small director. When we meet again, please call me director a.
B: Yo, national civil servant! Dude, where is it? Housing management office?
A: Housing management is so boring. Running up and down is too tired.
B: graduate school?
A: The institute is also boring. I won't play with pots and pans at home with a pile of small glass all day.
B: so, that's-
A: My office is old-fashioned and needs money. Anyone who comes to my office to do business (hands stretched out), who wants to do things without money, can't help it.
B: Bro, I recently invested in a new project, and I think I might ask you for something in the future.
A: That's easy to say (wake up). What? Investment? Aren't you selling small household appliances?
I quit a long time ago. These days, if you want to make money, you have to invest and do something yourself. It would be great for you to be the manager yourself, so-
A: Why? Sell your own small appliances?
B: It's bigger than household appliances.
That must be the office computer. In my office for the time being-
Bigger than that.
A: It must be that car.
B: It's bigger than a car (see A wants to ask again, so change the subject). Boss, I have something to do. I'll talk to you another day.
All right, bye.
B: Goodbye (hold your briefcase and continue walking in the given direction).
A: (to the audience) Well, business is bigger than cars. Keep bragging. I "bah-"
B: (also to the audience) Hum, a little broken "director", look at him, the villain has succeeded, and I "bah-"
My shop is open today. I have to paste the word "public toilet" (do a paste action and turn around). My director officially took office today. (Feeling a little anxious) Hey, I used the toilet first (leaving)
(in a hurry) Today is the big day for opening. I have to put up a sign quickly.
A: (Returning) What is this man doing? It seems to be the old "B" (close).
(turning around) Hey, Lao Jia, what brings you here?
My-(What did you find)
(Two people see each other's shops at the same time, and suddenly realize)
B: You
A: Yes.
B: Yes.
A: Gong.
B: * * *
A: The toilet.
B: The Institute.
A: Haha!
B: Ha ha!
A: Hero.
I saw it.
A: Slightly the same.
(The two men come together to hug each other warmly, and at the same time push each other away and jump back. )
Why did you drive the toilet next to me?
I want to ask you another question.
Is your business bigger than computers and cars? (Come back)
B: Isn't my toilet bigger than a car? You are the director of this institute? (also take a step back)
We are neighbors again.
We are competitors again.
(When they want to congratulate each other, both of them feel uncomfortable, so they take a step back and twist their heads at the same time) Hum! (pointing at each other's feet at the same time) "Bah!" (Two people return to pretend to sit)
Welcome, 20 cents.
Welcome, 20 cents.
Welcome, 20 cents.
Welcome, 20 cents.
A: It has been in business for more than a week, and the benefits are not bad. If it weren't for old B, wouldn't I have made a lot of money? (Stand up and walk out)
B: This old man who is always right for me has delayed me a lot of silver tickets. (also goes out)
A: Oh, Lao B: "Congratulations on getting rich."
B: Same happiness.
I told a joke the other day, which was very interesting. (Anything to stop customers) Please come here.
B: (It's a pity to see that I neglected a client.)
A: That day, I defecated in my own toilet. As soon as the man who just came in pressed the phone, he said loudly, "Oh, Xiao Liu, I'm sorry, I stood you up." All right, my treat. The thing is, a customer from Hong Kong came temporarily, and now we are eating at the International Hotel. Sorry, see you later. "
After a while, the man's cell phone rang again. After thinking for a long time, he said, "Mimi, what's wrong with you?" I thought I was going to Shanghai on business. Did you miss me? I have to do something if you miss me. Stop fooling around and remember to burn incense. It's really hard to kiss you when you come back. "
Then the phone rang again, and the gentleman pressed it. People who don't want to make phone calls seem to be patient and persistent. The gentleman was angry. "Hey, hey, you're crazy! What's the name for nothing? Mobile phones don't cost money. Honey, honey, let's talk about it at home, okay? I'm in the bathroom, so I can't talk to you in the bathroom. That's it. " "Shut down.
Ha ha ha (bent down with joy)
A: (I intercepted another customer on the plane)
I want to tell you a more interesting thing. The ladies' room was closed that day, so I went to take a shower. At this time, my daughter-in-law came and closed the door of the men's room because it was inconvenient. At this moment, a drunk broke in. When he heard the urgent voice, he mistakenly thought that someone was pouring wine and said angrily, "I-I don't drink, who will pour me wine?" Somebody pour me some more wine? I have something urgent with him! "My daughter-in-law dare not pee, just waiting for the drunkard to go. But at this moment, the drunk just farted. He staggered back, furious: "I said I don't drink, who opened another bottle?" "
A: (Not funny, but I stopped another customer by accident) Welcome. This way, please
B: (Staring straight at A for a while, I also found a customer) Brother, come to my toilet, which is elegantly decorated and is a star-rated toilet.
A: Sister, my toilet is high-grade equipment. It's three-star.
B: I have a superior toilet here. It's five-star.
A: My toilet is a pile of stars. Not only do I have a toilet seat, but also the toilet seat is disinfected regularly.
B: When there is no one in my toilet, it is disinfected by ultraviolet rays.
A: (I'm thinking of a plan) I'll turn on the ultraviolet light for you. I'll turn off the electricity here so that people who go in can't find the toilet.
B: (hands divided equally, carefully walking out) Who is so wicked, turned off the electricity for me. All right, Jia, watch what I do to you.
A: (holding his nose and rushing out) Some bastard pinched the water. God, it stinks. They are all maggots. (Seeing Old B, he said) Old B, can you connect the water for me and I'll fix the electricity for you?
B: It seems that it's not a good idea to tear down each other's tables. I should still establish my own corporate image and engage in brand management as the best policy. Take a sign (by gesture). My toilet is officially registered as "B record toilet".
Answer: (looking at each other) also "remember the toilet". I will take a sign (follow it and read the name) "Jiajiafen Village."
B: My slogan is "Don't make trouble every time you go to the street. When you leave, the toilet will make you as light as a swallow." Brother, you are welcome to come again next time.
A: My slogan is: "Urgency is really unbearable, and Jia's dung village gives you a refreshing feeling." Elder sister, don't forget Jia's dung village. B: I want to install a telephone to make domestic and international calls.
I want to buy a fax machine that can be sent all over the world.
I will sell some cigarettes, wine, sugar and tea.
I want to make baskets of melons, fruits, pears and peaches.
B: I said, Lao Jia, you should sell fried dough sticks in the morning. When people go to the toilet here in the morning, they can buy some golden fried dough sticks, which can save time at work.
A: I said, old man, you should sell beer at night. People can go to the toilet at night, buy your frothy beer and get a good sleep when they get home.
B: Anyone who comes to my "B-type toilet" on holidays and at night will be charged half price. Spending a dime in my toilet is very enjoyable in Zhong Zhen!
A: You come to my "Jiajiafen Village" to solve the problem, and I will give you a chance to draw a lottery. The first prize is the rice cooker, which is very beautiful.
B: It seems that I will have a hard time if I don't crowd you out. (Facing the audience) Anyone who comes to my bathroom is not only half-price on holidays, but also can take part in the lucky draw and win the first prize of TV set.
A: (looking at B) Boy, fight with me, right? (Facing the audience) Whoever comes to our Jia's manure field to solve the problem, our village decided to pay a dime at any time and draw a lottery. The first prize is a motorcycle.
B: I-I-(obviously speechless with anger)
A: Haha, how was it?
B: (flustered) I don't want money from today, and I won a TV set.
A: I don't charge either. The first prize is still a motorcycle.
B: Since then, there are more and more people in my toilet every day.
A: Line up. Line up. Hey, that guy, how did you tie the wire? Line up in the back.
Within three days, two people won the TV.
A: Within three days, I pushed away two motorcycles, and I bought a new one, leaving me with nothing to ride.
B: Hey, why do you have to go to the toilet several times a day?
A: (pretending to be a customer) I-I have a stomachache. I just came out and my stomach is uncomfortable again. (Pretending to have a stomachache and crouching down) Give me a lottery ticket.
I don't think you have diarrhea. If you are really sick, you can't even go to the hospital. Come out and stay here for a day.
Hey, you won a motorcycle. Why did you come back?
B: (pretending to be a customer) I won a motorcycle but my wife didn't.
A: No, that won't do. Both motorcycles have been lost, so we can't lose them any more. I secretly took out the grand prize.
B: For four days in a row, there was no winner.
A: A customer saw it. He said:
B: (Learn) If he doesn't see the grand prize, he will sue me at the Consumers Association.
A: You said that he went to the toilet more than 30 times a day, and I didn't charge a dime. He still wanted to sue me. Do you think I owe him or not?
B: I said, Lao Jia, you'd better not open this toilet. Doing some business is better than this.
A: I said B, I think you'd better change careers. Anyway, you are the manager and you can do anything. Unlike me, you became a director. The owner of a steamed stuffed bun shop cannot be called "director".
You don't mean it
I think you're targeting me on purpose.
B: Just like that, I lost another TV set.
A: I let the boy's wife win a motorcycle here.
Forget it, we can't compete. At this rate, my three-bedroom apartment will be gone.
A: My daughter-in-law has sued the court, and she said she would never talk to me again.
B: We must do our business well.
I think we should tell you. The toilet over there is a man-
B: The toilet over there is a woman.
An answer to the curtain call
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