Ask for short paragraphs, not pornography.

One day, Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a ride.

The car is running out of gas, and there is a gas station next to it. When driving by, a sudden gust of wind blew my boyfriend's hat away.

Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her:

"I'll get my hat, you help me to refuel. 」

Not far from her boyfriend, she heard Xiaomei shout behind her:

"come on Come on! 」

There is a fat man. ..........

Jump off a tall building ...

It turned out to be .......

Fat bastard ..

Xiaoming cut his hair and came to school the next day. The students all laughed when they saw his new hairstyle: Xiao Ming, your head is a kite! Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. Crying and crying ~ he flew away ...

I used to have schizophrenia, but now we have recovered.

There is a duck named Xiao Huang. One day, when it was crossing the road, it was hit by a car and shouted, "Gung!" " "Since then, it has become a cucumber. ...

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?" Boss: "Oh, sorry, not that much." "I see. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay. The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?" Boss: "Sorry, I still don't have it." "I see. . . "The little white rabbit left in dismay again. On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?" The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ! "The little white rabbit took out the money:" Great, I'll take two! "" "

The diver's movements are difficult. He turned three times, then somersaulted forward for three and a half times, and then somersaulted backward for a month.

One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?"

Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?"

In order to prevent patients from escaping, the hospital set up a channel of 100, but there are still two mental patients who want to escape from the hospital. Work hard at night

Over the wall. Under the 30th wall,

"Are you tired?" ,

"Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards.

Under the 60th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"Not tired." So the two continued to turn outwards.

Under the 99th wall,

"Are you tired?"

"tired"

"Well, let's go home."

Stones and rice cakes fight, stones fly and kick rice cakes into the sea.

Once upon a time, there was a pair of lovers who decided to join the army for life, so they made an oath with the girl, gave her a diamond ring, and agreed to meet her three years later today. At that time, the ring will be used as a wedding ring. Three years later, the girl has been waiting for the boy, but she can't. Sad and desperate, she threw the diamond ring into the sea and moved away. However, the boy has been waiting.

Rice cake! ! !

Once, the leaders of the Education Bureau checked the exercises between classes. After the end, the PE teacher should have announced "dissolution", but in a hurry, he forgot his words and held back for a long time, shouting "retreat!"

A boyfriend and girlfriend are walking down the street. The woman said, "My feet are so sore." The man asked, "Did you step on a lemon?"

Xiaoming went out and saw his uncle buying vegetables. He said, "Lao Cai, where did you buy it for uncle?" Xiaoming's uncle said, "The child can't even speak."

Once upon a time, there was a little squirrel. He said that winter is coming, and I haven't stored any food yet. If we go on like this, we will starve to death. Then winter came and he starved to death.

Go to McDonald's to buy cones, and finally it's my turn. I can't wait to say, "Give me two rollers!" " "I didn't expect the waiter to say to me loudly;" Two rollers, four dollars! "

There is a hide-and-seek club whose leader has not been found yet.

There is an old lady in a mental hospital, wearing black clothes and holding a black umbrella every day, squatting at the gate of the mental hospital.

The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her.

So the doctor also wore black clothes, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her.

The two men were silent for a month.

The old lady finally said to the doctor, I'm sorry ... are you a mushroom, too?

Grandma got on the bus, and the child sitting next to her quickly got up. The old woman said, "Sit down, don't give me your seat!" " "After a while, the child stood up again, and the old woman patted him on the shoulder and said," You really don't have to give me your seat. Sit down! " "After repeated several times, the children finally couldn't help crying! The child cried and said, "I have been to several stops. Why don't you let me off? " ? ! "

My son came home trembling: "Dad, I only got 60 points in the exam today." Dad is very angry: "Don't call me dad next time you fail the exam!" " "The next day, my son came back:" I'm sorry, brother! " "

One night, my daughter called her mother anxiously: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! " Mother comforted softly: "silly child, be good, don't think the worst, something may have happened!" " "

The Arab student sent an email to his father: "Dad, Berlin is a good place. People here are very friendly. But I'm a little embarrassed to go to school. When everyone else goes to school by subway, I will drive a pure gold Mercedes. " Dad wrote back: "son, I transferred 200 million dollars to you." Don't embarrass me, go and buy a subway! "

Teacher: "There is something, full of beautiful feathers, that wakes you up every morning. What is it? " Child: "It's a feather duster!" " "

Xiaoming has always been proud that his father is a great engineer. One day, he met Xiaohua. So I chatted with Xiaohua. Xiaoming said to Xiaohua, "Do you know the Himalayas?" Xiaohua said, "I know." Xiao Ming said, "That was built by my father. Hey hey "Xiaohua was speechless. He thought for a moment. Say, "Do you know the Dead Sea? That was killed by my father. "

A truck killed a pig on the expressway, and the farmer claimed compensation from the driver. The driver said, "Who told your pig to run on the highway? There is no pigsty on the highway! " ""Although there is no pigsty, there is no road for pigs! "

It's been so many days since the Asian Games, and the American team hasn't won a gold medal!

Today, I picked a mobile phone and wanted to return it to the owner, so I found a number in his mobile phone and called it (the owner's sister). After the other party connected, he said, what's the matter, brother? I said, are you the sister of the owner of this mobile phone? I found your brother's cell phone! She listened and said, oh, wait a minute. Then I hung up. In about a minute. The phone rang, and as soon as I answered it, I heard that the other person was a woman and said, Brother, you found your mobile phone!

This year, the Chinese composition of the college entrance examination in Hunan Province is "early". Everyone came out of the examination room and talked about it. Suddenly, a man exclaimed, "Early? Isn't it drought? Collapse ... "

In the street, two men are quarreling. "You are an ass!" "You are an asshole!" Pedestrians advised, "We are all a family, so why should we be unkind?"

Do you know where God lives? In the bathroom. A: Why? Because every morning when I hear my father knocking on the toilet door, he always says,' God, why are you still in there?'

Halfway through the martial arts rumor, the cinema was actually dark, and a buddy shouted: Move the mouse!

A person goes to bed at noon and sets the QQ automatic reply to "Then what?" As a result, a classmate chatted with it all noon. ...

Xiao Ren said to Xiao Yang, I found ten dollars at the corner of the lane. Xiao Yang: It must be the one I dropped yesterday. Xiao Ren: But I found two fives! Xiao Yang: I must have broken it when I fell.

Just called to ask where my classmate was, and the classmate replied, "At McDonald's." I said a polite cliche: "hey, buddy, what's delicious?" I can smell the fragrance. " The classmate replied, "I'm waiting in line in the bathroom!" " "

Teacher: "Have you worked out this problem?" Student: "I have, I have counted ten times." Teacher: "You learn really well." Student: "But I got ten different answers."

A car ran over a chicken when it passed a small village. The driver picked up the unfortunate chicken and said to a little boy who saw it, "Is this chicken yours?" "No, sir, my chicken is the same color and appearance as it, but not as flat as it."

Mom: "Martin, go to the kitchen and see if the light is off!" " "Martin went for a while and came back and said," Mom, it's so dark there that you can't see anything. "

Teacher: "Lily, your problem is the improper use of words." Now test you, please use one sentence to describe that I am very happy. Lily: "The teacher is smiling in the grave. "

One day, the school invited parents to visit the school. In the first class in the morning, the students say hello to the teacher and say, "Good morning, teacher." The teacher felt that the students should also say hello to the parents present, so he said, "What about the parents?" Before the students could react, the parents stood up together and said, "Good morning, teacher."

The National Development and Reform Commission finally surpassed the Bureau of Statistics, saying that the per capita green space in Beijing is twice that in Paris. Mopper replied, "Are you a happy farm?"

A woman has no choice but to marry a creditor because her father owes money. On the first night of the wedding, the woman said to the smug groom, I married you because my father owes you money. Don't be too proud! The next day, the woman opened her eyes, shook her sleeping groom and said, how much does my father owe us? You can't just let it go.

Mike went into the restaurant and ordered a soup. The waiter brought it to him right away. As soon as the waiter walked away, Mike shouted, "Sorry, I can't drink this soup." The waiter brought him another soup, but he still said, "Sorry, I can't drink this soup." The waiter had to call the manager. The manager nodded respectfully to Mike and said, "Sir, this dish is our specialty and is very popular with customers. Don't you ... "I mean, where's the spoon?"

When a taxi driver was driving, he found a crazy motorcycle in front of him and quickly threw the child sitting behind him out. The taxi driver caught up with the motorcycle and shouted, "Dude, your child is going to fall out of the back seat." Hearing this, the motorcyclist turned back in surprise and asked, "Where's your mother, son?"

A: "Speaking of riding safety, I heard that sitting in the middle of the train is the safest. In the event of an accident, both ends of the train are always the most seriously damaged. " B: "My God! Why don't they cut off both ends? "

"A man was ordered to send an urgent document, and his boss specially sent him a fast horse. But he ran after the horse instead of riding it. Passers-by asked him, "since it's so urgent, why not ride a horse?" He said, "if you walk with six feet, you can walk faster than four feet!" "

Undergraduates, masters and doctors wrote How to Cook Braised Pork. Undergraduate students said to put the meat in the pot and add something to cook. Graduate students say this is not enough, how much meat, how much other spices, how to cook, how long to cook; After a month, the doctor published a book called How to Cook Braised Pork, and opened the catalogue, "Chapter 1, How to Raise Pigs".