How to understand the folk saying that "red things come uninvited and white things come uninvited"? What is the pressure?

Farming culture has a long history in China. People live in the flat center in the form of villages, develop the land around villages, engage in agricultural consumption, and live a self-sufficient life from generation to generation, which constitutes the agreed etiquette system, speech habits, social ways and interpersonal relationships.

A village is a circle, which coincides with the collective activities in the village. Everyone went out together, and Qi Xin worked together to finish it.

If a family holds a wedding, most men, women and children in the village will spontaneously come to help. Women will help chefs wash dishes, cut vegetables, wash pots and wash dishes, while men will decorate the scene, serve food and greet guests. People can express their mutual help and love by doing these details.

After all, in rural life, mutual assistance is regarded as the fundamental way to enhance feelings, establish word of mouth and maintain human feelings, which explains the essence of "reciprocity". In the future, if something happens at home, people will come to help tacitly.

However, there are rural customs and rules in the countryside. If you don't respect the local customs and don't understand the necessary rules, it will not only make a joke, but also annoy the host.

There is a saying in the countryside that red things can't be invited and white things can't be uninvited, which explains the rather complicated cultural customs and social concepts reflected when you attend weddings and funerals, which are acquiesced and observed by many people.

The wedding scene was very festive. The bride and groom should wear red, and the scene should be set in red. Red is undoubtedly the main color of the wedding. Therefore, people usually call marriage a "red event".

In case of a red event, the host family will hold a banquet to entertain the guests. The more guests there are, the more distinguished and popular they are. However, inviting guests to organize village red activities is an artistic activity. Who is invited and who is not? How to invite? There are rules.

In the face of close younger generations such as uncles, menses, aunts, etc., the groom or the groom's family should bring gifts to the door and even greet them on the wedding day. If you just make a phone call or send a message, it will be regarded as disrespect for others, and you will not only be scolded by your relatives, but also laughed at by the villagers.

If you don't invite your next of kin in person, people won't come to the wedding in anger, and the main family has nothing to say. In rural areas, my uncle, menstruation, menstruation and other close relatives bring home the bacon and send the most money, so we must respect them. Moreover, it is much more important for them to speak as relatives at the wedding scene than ordinary relatives.

As for ordinary relatives and villagers, they should also be invited to their homes. If time doesn't allow, please invite others. Invitations must be sent and words must spread. Whether people will come or not is another matter.

Therefore, in the matter of marriage, no matter close relatives, ordinary relatives or villagers, they can't ignore inviting others because of their busy affairs. We must do our own manners well. Etiquette is the rule. Rural people are deeply influenced by traditional ideas and care about etiquette and rules. If they don't invite others, they will mistakenly look down on him as the main family, and the two families are likely to break up.

People who are not invited will either think that they have "no common goal, no common goal", or they will look down on their host family, or they are not close enough to reciprocate, and usually choose not to attend the wedding reception.

After being invited, most people will come to the wedding. After all, marriage is a happy event, and there is nothing wrong with being happy.

Of course, there are also some situations where the invitees are not present, and some people really don't have time. In this case, the invitee will send the gift money in advance or let others bring it. If you pretend not to know about it, there is something wrong.

Some people don't come to send a signal to the host family that they don't want to communicate. In this case, the host family need not feel uneasy. One more visitor and one less visitor will not affect the prosperity of the wedding scene. Just do the same to him in the future.

When someone dies, the descendants wear white Dai Xiao, and the layout of the funeral scene is mainly white. Therefore, rural people usually call the funeral a "white matter".

White matter is also a major event in life, which can be said to be a commemoration and summary of the life of the deceased by relatives, friends and folks.

Living in a village for a long time, rural people are familiar with each other, and they can show unity when encountering major events, especially when it comes to white affairs, and they can give full play to the excellent tradition of unity without disagreement. Everyone gathers firewood with a high flame.

Different from the red activities, whenever the village prepares a white activity, everyone who knew the deceased before his death will come blindly to participate, even if he is not invited. This phenomenon is very common in rural areas.

Why is this happening? In my understanding, there are two reasons.

First, "the dead are the biggest" and "grave safety" are the funeral cultural concepts that all people believe in, and the living take following them as the most fundamental criterion for being a man.

Sooner or later, everyone will experience birth, illness and death. After death, it is very respectable. His life's merits and demerits end here. No matter how busy the deceased was, people who had contacts before his death should participate in the white matter and send the deceased the last journey. After all, nothing happens once in a lifetime.

No matter what mistakes the deceased made before his death, no matter what grievances the living and the deceased have, they can't care about it after death. Moreover, it is the greatest respect for the deceased to watch the deceased "buried in peace" and see the last side of the deceased, because he will never be seen again.

Therefore, whenever there is a white matter in the village, many people are uninvited guests, even those who have had conflicts with their host families in the past, which shows the demeanor of being a man and the development of "filial piety culture"

Second, give me a "back road", and then I may have to trouble others to take care of my business.

It can be found that most of the people involved in white affairs are the elderly in the village. Old people have known the deceased for decades, not only because of their close relationship, but also because of the idea of helping the deceased to take care of the aftermath.

After all, the countryside is a circle of mutual assistance. Everyone should think clearly about his future when doing anything. I'll help your family today. My family has something to do tomorrow. It seems natural that I once called you for help. If you don't go, your reputation in the village will stink. At that time, the circle will become smaller and smaller, so small that it will appear cold and lonely in front of the incident, and it will appear helpless and unfortunate.