I am urgently looking for N humorous jokes, please don’t enter if you repeat them! !

Once, my classmate asked me which department another classmate was in in the hospital. I couldn’t remember clearly, but I thought it was both internal medicine and acupuncture, so she said she was: Guilt Science. 2. A boy saw his uncle and said: "Buy uncle, two dishes!" Uncle: "This kid, you are talking such big words, you can't even talk to others!" 3. When I was in college, a classmate and I were arguing about an issue, and I was at a disadvantage for a while. , in a hurry, he slammed the table and stood up shouting: You are talking nonsense, I am not stupid! 4 A buddy of mine went on a blind date. When we came back, everyone asked how he was. The buddy said: This girl is really rough. At lunch time, two people entered a beef ramen restaurant. The girl said loudly to the chef: Hey, give me 2 bowls~~~ The ramen chef said: Do you want to eat? I poop when I eat. My buddy quickly said: "One bowl, you can just pull one bowl." It is said that everyone in the restaurant laughed loudly~~ 5. Once my sister introduced a song to me. She said it was called "Girl's Underwear". I was surprised. I took the CD and took a look. It was "Girl's Underwear". "Prayer"... 6. The primary school teacher "soothed" our nervousness before the open class and said: "Don't be nervous, everyone. Don't look around when you get to class. Not all people sitting in the audience have two faces." A nose is like an eye!" 7. In English class, the teacher said "good morning, teacher" and the students said "good morning, student". The whole class was stunned. . . 8. When I was a kid, people who sold popsicles and ice cream usually pushed bicycles to sell them. Once, I heard an aunt shouting in the house: "The new ice cream is hot." (I guess my aunt used to sell fried cakes and dough sticks) 9. One of my classmates called another friend, and the other friend’s grandfather answered the phone. The classmate didn’t know what he was thinking, so he opened his mouth and said: “Grandpa, this is grandma...” Suddenly I felt something was wrong, so I hung up the phone with a bang... 10. When my sister and I were playing at home when we were children, she pretended to be a chivalrous girl, alertly listening to the outside world, and then said to me with a wary look on her face: "Huh? That’s not right!” 2 The fourth man in the dormitory got out of bed and looked for slippers for a long time. He didn’t find any slippers. He asked everyone: Where did I drag my shoes? 3 I once went to buy mutton skewers. I stretched out 4 fingers and said to the boss: "Here are 3 mutton skewers." The boss was confused: "How many?" I stretched out 3 fingers and said "4"... 4 My surname is Zhu, and I manage the unit's computer room. Someone once called me on my mobile phone: "Chief Chicken Section, are you in the pig room?" At that time, he cursed the guy! 5 My parents were arguing, and my dad was so angry that he said, "Get out of here!" 6 When I was playing basketball in high school, A got the ball and passed it to B selflessly, and B easily scored. After a while, B got the ball, and A shouted to pass the ball to him, but B threw the ball himself. As a result, A shouted angrily: "You really blinded me just now..." The whole audience fainted with laughter. . 7 In my impression, the monitor in primary school was extremely serious. During a self-study class, the classroom was abuzz with people. After maintaining order several times, the monitor finally couldn't bear it anymore. He stood up, slapped the table and roared: "If anyone makes any more noise, cut him off!" ...The whole class was silent 8 When I was in college, I heard a girl ordering: "Master, stir-fry a plate of hot and sour shredded potatoes, without the potatoes!" 9 While cooking at noon, my mother gave me a pot of carrots: "Go and cut the carrots into pieces." Pork cubes!" When I was looking for a job in 10 years, the examiner asked me which year I graduated. I originally wanted to say the year 2000, but I got excited and said, "Two thousand years ago...". What was even more shocking was that the examiner said "Oh" and said, "A student of Confucius, right?" 11 I remember one time. When I went to buy a fruit called Elizabeth, I opened my mouth and said, "Boss, how much does Shakespeare cost?" The boss was stunned on the spot... 12 I remembered that when KFC went out to spread its wings, because I didn't read the advertisement, I listened to other people. That said, I always thought it was Liu Xiang who endorsed KFC. When I arrived at KFC, I told the waiter directly: "I want Liu Xiang to spread his wings..." 13 At noon one day, my mother asked my brother to move the dining table to the side.

My brother didn't move for a long time, and my mother said something like this in a hurry: "Did you hear me? I asked you to move the table two kilometers to the side!" My friend's child was half a year old, so I called to care about it. After a few words of greeting, Here comes a sentence: Is your child eating human milk or your milk? One evening, I met an acquaintance and said: "Good morning"... I went to buy watermelon that day. I heard someone asking the melon seller: Does your watermelon have a skin? One day I went shopping and felt urgent. I found an Internet cafe in front of me. I rushed in and shouted to the network administrator: Where is the toilet in your hut? When I was buying food in the cafeteria, I saw the tofu skin that I had longed for. I excitedly told the waiter that I would like some potato skins, which shocked everyone around me. When I was in high school, the school required girls to wear school uniforms for activities on the first day of school. The next day the weather was bad and the girls all brought their school uniforms to school. Some boys wore girls' uniforms because they felt cold without any clothes. The math teacher looked at the class and said, "The boys took off all the girls' clothes." ..... The whole class was speechless and then burst into laughter for 10 minutes... Last time I had a meal with my friends and ordered 5 dishes, one cold and four hot. After waiting for a long time, the food was not served, so my friend asked, "How many dishes did we order?" I blurted out: "Four are cold and one is cold." It's freezing cold. Oh, there is an elevator inside the air-conditioning! During the physical examination for the college entrance examination, a classmate was highly myopic, so he memorized the test form with E's written all over it, but he still failed. We asked him what happened, and he said: I can't see clearly where the doctor's baton is. . . Fainted on the spot. The boss of our dormitory once said: give medicine and take injections. There was a girl named Jiao in her high school class. One day, a handsome boy made a bet with her. I forgot what the bet was. She asked: What if you lose? The handsome guy replied: I lost, I will have sex with your surname Jiao... his voice was loud, and the whole class burst into laughter for 10 minutes...