What are some jokes that make people laugh?

If you are unhappy, you can take a look at some of them that you have seen.

1.

2. Chen Sheng: "If you die now, you will die. If you make great plans, you will die. If you wait for death, how can the country die?" Wu Guang: "The country will die." Chen Sheng: "Don't praise me in Japanese."

3. When I first went to college last year, it was the first time I stayed up all night at an Internet cafe outside the school. I asked the beautiful network administrator: "How much does it cost to pay for the night?" 800." I was shocked: "Why is it so expensive?" The beautiful network manager: "Sorry, it's 20 yuan for the night." I seemed to understand something: "It's okay, I'll give you the money." The beautiful network manager took the 800 yuan and gave it to me. With a charming smile, that night... I turned on forty machines!

4.

A netizen commented: minus 4°!

5. (turning the book) Ma Dongmei (closing the book) What kind of plum is Ma?

(turning the book) Ma Dongmei (closing the book) What kind of winter plum?

(turning the book) Ma Dongmei (closing the book) Ma Dong what?

(turning the book) Ma Dongmei (closing the book) Ma Dongmei!

(Combined book) Ma Dongmei! ! (Combined book) Ma Dongmei! ! !

(Combined book) Okay, I remember (exam) Sun Honglei

6. Just this month, I was forced to go on a blind date on the first day I came home from work in Beijing. The other person majored in English and was developing his career in Shanghai. He was quite cool. When he arrived, he told me that he had English level 6, Japanese level 1, and German level 2. What level did he have? I told him QQ level 60, Yellow Diamond level 7, Weibo level 3, and explosive temper level 100. Before I could finish, the other party walked away...

7. I called the mobile customer service that day, and the customer service : "Hello, it's my pleasure to serve you." I said, "It's too early for you to be happy." Then I hung up the phone.

8. After get off work, I rode the tram home. I was riding fast in the alley. At this time, an uncle came in front of me. He was also riding fast. He was about to hit me. The uncle shouted: You are on the left and I am on the right. My uncle and I lay in the alley for a long time that day!

9. When I was having dinner with my husband today, I said: I am pregnant. As a result, my husband got excited and immediately called his father and said: Dad, you are going to be a grandson.

10. I was playing on my mobile phone, and when I thought about the monthly exam next week, I couldn’t help but slap myself in the face. I can’t even concentrate on playing with my mobile phone!

The laughter was low back then, but this joke is deeply remembered:

There was a rabbit who ran to the drugstore and said to the boss: Boss, boss, are there any radishes? Boss: This is a drugstore, there are no carrots! The rabbit jumped away.

The next day, the rabbit came again: Boss, boss, are there any radishes? The boss was a little unhappy: No! The rabbit jumped away.

On the third day, the rabbit came again: Boss, boss, are there any radishes? The boss was angry: I told you! This is a drugstore, no carrots! The rabbit jumped away.

On the fourth day, the rabbit came in and asked: Boss, boss, are there any radishes? The boss was furious: I told you this is a pharmacy, there are no radishes! Then I'll use scissors to cut off your ears! The rabbit jumped away.

On the fifth day, the rabbit came again: Boss, boss, do you have any scissors? Boss: Scissors? Neither!

Rabbit: Are there any radishes?

There are many variations of this story, but they all highlight the rabbit’s meanness and persistence.

The eight-year-old daughter said to her mother: Mom, I have an appointment to go to the city with my classmates today.

Mom thought for a while and asked with concern: How much will it cost you?

Daughter: Just give me bus fare.

Then her mother gave her a hundred yuan and a few yuan in change, and told her to pay attention to safety and come back early.

In the evening, my daughter came back happily, holding a glowing crystal ball in her hand.

My mother asked with concern: How much did the glass ball cost?

Daughter: It doesn’t cost any money, it was a gift from a classmate.

My classmates helped me pay for the bus fare when I came back!

Mom: Doesn’t that cost nothing? Next time, don’t ask your classmates to help you pay. How bad!

Daughter: No, we had a buffet together, which cost 61 yuan each. Then I gave my classmate a crystal ball, which cost 38 yuan. I didn’t have the bus fare to come back, so I asked my classmates to help me pay for it.

Mom: "..."

1 Tang Monk and his disciples went to the West to learn Buddhist scriptures. On the way, they encountered an engineering team digging into the mountain to blast rocks. They only heard a "bang" sound and a huge stone Being blown to pieces, Tang Seng was startled, and turned around and said: "Look, Wukong! Your mother has given birth to a second child!"

2 In a psychiatric hospital, the chief physician took several interns to make rounds. I saw a mentally ill patient sitting on the bed, staring out the window.

The chief physician stepped forward and asked: "What are you looking at?"

The patient replied: "I saw a beautiful woman."

"Then what? ”

“I want to take off her clothes”

“She has recovered well and has normal thinking.”

“ I want to take off her pants and take off her stockings again.”

“That’s right, go on,” the chief doctor encouraged.

At this time, the patient’s face turned red and he said with embarrassment: “I, I will take off her underwear again…”

“Very good, very good, and then what? ?”

The patient laughed: “Then I took out the monkey rubber band from her pants, made it into a slingshot, and hit the glass in your house!”

After liberation, literacy was implemented in the village. Many people in the village have enrolled in literacy classes. They work in the fields during the day and study in literacy classes at night. An old man heard the term "blind flow" somewhere and thought it was strange, so he kept talking about it all day long.

The old man also wanted to study in the literacy class that day. After dinner in the evening, he went to the literacy class. As soon as he entered the door, he said: "I also want to study in the literacy class. I don't know if I will get it, because I am also a literacy class." Illiterate old hooligan!"

Look at the sand sculptures I posted, they are much better than the jokes.

1. Get up

One morning, Lili was sleeping in, and her mother came to wake her up: "Get up quickly, what time is it!" Lili couldn't afford to live or die. , hiding in bed and not coming out. After a while, my mother took a small speaker and played the national anthem: Get up! People who don’t want to be slaves! ……stand up! stand up! ! stand up! ! ! Lili immediately jumped out of bed and never stayed in bed again...

2.

Male: Honey, I have a card here, take it and swipe it!

Female: No need!

Male: It’s okay, you’re welcome

Female: No need really

Male: Take it, I don’t care

Female : Nope

Male: Get it for me quickly!

Female: Damn it, give me a bus card and I can swipe it somewhere!

3.

Mingming and a few brothers went swimming in the river. After swimming for a long time, Mingming was thirsty and went ashore to buy a bottle of water. He didn’t pay attention to the puddle under his feet and slipped. After walking dozens of meters away, he slipped under the skirt of a little girl. The girl thought it was a big catfish and almost suffocated Mingming to death under her skirt...

A matchmaker came to Zhang's house and asked you How old is Jia Da Mao?

Da Mao Ma: Twenty-three.

The matchmaker said it was time to get a wife.

Da Mao Ma: Oh, who wouldn’t say yes.

The matchmaker said: I know a girl. If your family is angry, I will tell her about her.

Da Mao’s mother said: Oh, you see, Da Mao is fine, but not right now.

The matchmaker said: It’s all on me.

The matchmaker came to the Wang family again and said to the little flower’s mother: Your little flower is not young anymore, it’s time to find her husband’s family.

The little flower’s mother said: She’s not twenty-three anymore, my little flower is doing well, she’s a good hand at work.

Matchmaker: It’s all up to me. I have a small group of people right now, so that’s fine, but I don’t have one right now.

Xiaohua’s mother said: It doesn’t matter, as long as the young man is diligent.

The matchmaker returned to Zhang's house and said to Da Mao's mother: I wish you a happy birthday. Xiaohua's family will be very happy. My daughter is a good child and a good worker.

The matter is settled like this. They chose an auspicious day and got married. After the newlyweds finished worshiping heaven and earth, they entered the bridal chamber. It turns out that the groom does not have a nose, and the bride says she has good hands, but it turns out she is missing an arm. Fortunately, the two of them are bitches and they don't blame each other.

Medicine