I'm getting married soon. My daughter-in-law asked me to tell jokes when I knocked at the door. Can you recommend some suitable jokes? The more the better.

1。 The boy took his girlfriend for a walk and passed by the restaurant. The girlfriend exclaimed, "It smells good!" The cash-strapped boy said very gentlemanly, "If you like, we'll walk in front of the restaurant again."

2. A student learned to smoke. One day, he walked out of school after school and just took out a cigarette from his pocket, only to find that the head teacher did not know when he had stood in front of him. Seeing the teacher's eyes wide open, he was scared and trembling all over. The teacher shouted, "Don't you dare smoke!" The students threw the cigarettes on the ground at once. The teacher shouted again, "Don't you dare to waste!" After listening, the students quickly picked it up from the ground and handed it to the teacher. The teacher didn't answer, and shouted, "How dare you bribe!" The students quickly stuffed them into their pockets. The teacher shouted even more angrily, "Do you dare to do it again?" The students were at a loss and cried with a "wow". Alas! ..... Poor baby ~ even has a dead heart.

3. There was a couple of mice. The mother mouse always suspected that the male mouse was having an affair, but there was never any evidence.

One day she finally decided to follow her husband. She followed and found that her husband got into a pile of grass, and she immediately followed.

At this moment, a hedgehog emerged from the grass, and the mother mouse was angry at the sight. She grabbed the hedgehog and said loudly, "You damn fool, you said you didn't have an affair. Who do you want to seduce with so much mousse?"

4. There is a foreigner and a daughter-in-law from China.

The foreigner's improper understanding of the various meanings of China characters often makes his wife feel helpless.

once, China's daughter-in-law said to a foreigner, I really can't do anything about you.

The foreigner said: How can you manage me? I am so heavy.

5. Pig Bajie was making out with Chang 'e on the moon when suddenly a dark shadow passed by. Pig Bajie hurried out with a rake

and came back after a while, saying, Shit, Yang Liwei ...

6. One day on the bus, a woman left her seat to buy a ticket. When she came back, she found her seat. When the woman sitting in the seat heard this, she quickly stood up and said with a smile, I'm sorry to delay your laying!

7. A primary school student confessed to his long-cherished teacher. The teacher said it was wrong, but he didn't listen. Finally, the teacher couldn't stand it and said, I don't want children. The pupil said: I will be careful! ”。

8. There are three people who compete in marksmanship together, with a black man holding something as the target.

The first man put an apple on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 1 meters, he raised his hand and shot it and broke it. He blew the muzzle and said, I'm Zorro!

The second man put a cherry on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 5 meters, he raised his hand and smashed the cherry. He blew the muzzle and said, I'm7

The third man put a sesame seed on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 1 meters, he raised his hand and smashed the black man's head. He also blew the muzzle and said, I'm.

> The dog said to me, "I am your grandmother's dog, and it sounds good!" "

> The fish said to me, "I am your grandmother's fish, and it sounds good!" "

> The bear said, "You talk, I'll go first!" "

1. Little Rabbit said, "I'm a son of a bitch!"

> The pig said, "I am a pig son of a bitch!" "

> The chicken said, "I am a son of a bitch!" "

> The dog said, "You talk, I'll go first!" "

11. Lang Ke said, "People call me a ronin, which is nice!"

> The samurai said, "It's nice for people to call me a warrior!"

> The expert said: "People call me an expert, which is also very nice!" "

> The swordsman said, "You talk, I'll go first!"

12. Once upon a time, there was a great warrior.

His hands were cold.

His heart was cold.

Finally, he died of cold.

This story tells us to put on more clothes in cold weather.,,,

Have a good time. . . (*^__^*)