A joke that kills people, no bad information.

A man kept a parrot, which was very powerful, and all the other birds in it were killed by it.

Later, the owner brought back an eagle and put it together. When the owner came to see it, the parrot's hair hung outside the cage.

The host said, "Not this time."

But on closer inspection, the eagle died, and the parrot said naked, "This grandson is really amazing. You really can't beat Ya Ting without taking off your arms."

A driver was driving a truck full of hens, teasing his parrot while driving. When a beautiful woman got on the bus, the driver put the parrot in the cargo box with the hen and asked the beautiful woman to sit in the cab. After driving for a while, the driver tentatively asked the beauty, "Can I kiss you?" The beauty shook her head very shyly and said, "No." After waiting for a while, the driver reluctantly asked, "Can you give me a hug?" The beauty still shook her head and said, "No." The driver said angrily, "If you can't, go down." After driving for a while, the driver felt that his practice was very ungentlemanly, so he went back and invited the beautiful woman to get on the bus. But after driving for a while, the driver asked, "Can I kiss you?" The beauty still shook her head. "Can I have a hug?" The beauty still shook her head. "If you can't, go down." This has been repeated for three times, and finally I arrived at the chicken farm. The driver opened the trunk and saw that there were few hens in Miu Miu. Only the parrot mentioned a hen and asked, "Can a beautiful woman kiss me?" The hen shook her head desperately, and the parrot asked, "Can you give me a hug?" The hen still shook her head. The parrot said, "If you can't, go down." The hen was thrown out of the car ......

The little white rabbit was walking in the forest, and when he met the wolf, he came up and gave the little white rabbit two big ear stickers, saying, "I told you not to wear a hat". The little white rabbit left very grievance.

The next day, she skipped out of the house wearing a hat and met the wolf again. He came up and gave the white rabbit two big mouths and said, "I told you to wear a hat."

tutu is depressed. After thinking for a long time, I finally decided to go to the king of the forest, Tiger, to complain.

After explaining the situation, the tiger said, "OK, I know, I'll take care of this matter. Trust the organization.". On the same day, the tiger found his buddy, the wolf. "It's not right for you to do this. It's hard for me." Then he wiped the ash falling on the table: "Do you think this will work?" You can say, Tutu, come here and find me a piece of meat! She found the fat one, and you said you wanted the thin one. She found the thin one, and you said you wanted the fat one. So you can hit her. Of course, you can also say that. Tutu, come here and find me a woman. She found plump ones, and you said you liked slim ones. She found slim ones, and you said you liked plump ones. You can beat her. It's reasonable and powerful. " The wolf nodded and clapped his hands, and the reverence for the tiger once again rushed to a new peak. Unexpectedly, the above instructions were heard by the little white rabbit who was weeding the tiger's house outside the window. I hate this in my heart

The next day, the little white rabbit went out again. What a coincidence! It was the big bad wolf. The wolf said, "Tutu, come here and find me a piece of meat." Tutu said, "So, do you want to be fat or thin?" The wolf listened, and his heart sank, and he was happy again. He said, fortunately, there is a plan B. He added, "Tutu, Mary, find me a woman." Tutu asked, "So, do you like plump or slim?" The wolf was silent for 2 seconds, and raised his hand to give Tutu two big ear posts. "Shit, I told you not to wear a hat."

The little white rabbit skipped to the bakery and asked, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

boss: "Oh, I'm sorry, there aren't that many"

"I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly.

The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

boss: "I'm sorry, but there isn't."

"I see. . 。” The little white rabbit left dejectedly again.

On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery. "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily, "Yes, yes, we have a hundred buns today! ！”

The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I'll take two!" "

The prisoner was executed by shooting. Because of the poor quality of the bullet, the first shot didn't go off, and then the second shot was fired. . . The third shot. . . At this time, the prisoner cried and hugged the bailiff's thigh and said, Big Brother, you strangled me! It's so fucking scary ...

A primary school student confessed to a teacher who had a crush on him for a long time. The teacher said it was wrong, but he wouldn't listen. Finally, the teacher couldn't stand it and said, I don't want children. The pupil said: I will be careful! ”。

A mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the dean called the patients in the hospital for a meeting.

The dean said, "This afternoon, there is a very important leader coming to visit, and everyone should go to the door to welcome him. When greeting

, all patients should stand on both sides of the hospital gate, and stand neatly. When I cough, everyone should clap their hands together, the warmer the better; When I stamp my feet, I must stop completely, and I can't make a mistake. If everyone is ready,

we can eat meat buns for everyone tonight. As long as one person screws up, everyone will have no buns to eat. Remember

? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!"

This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the welcoming patients had already stood at the door.

When the hospital director coughed, all the patients applauded together, and the atmosphere was very warm. The visiting leader < P > was infected by the warm atmosphere, smiling and applauding with everyone to enter the hospital. Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the president stamped his foot and all the applause stopped, which was very neat. Only this leader is still smiling and clapping his hands, and the dean is very satisfied. Suddenly, a sick man as strong as Schwarzenegger came out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face, and shouted angrily, "You don't want to eat steamed buns? ! ! ！”

There are three people who compete in marksmanship together, with a black man holding something as the target.

The first man put an apple on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 1 meters, he raised his hand and shot it and broke it. He blew the muzzle and said, I'm Zorro!

The second man put a cherry on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 5 meters, he raised his hand and smashed the cherry. He blew the muzzle and said, I'm7

The third man put a sesame seed on the black man's head, and then at a distance of 1 meters, he raised his hand and smashed the black man's head. He also blew the muzzle and said, I'm. He asked one of them, "What do you do every day?" The penguin said, "Eat and sleep and fight peas." He asked another, "What do you do every day?" The penguin also said, "Eat and sleep and fight peas." He asked many penguins, and they all said, "Eat, sleep and fight peas."

Later, he met a little penguin. He looked very cute and asked him, "What do you do every day, little friend?" The little penguin said, "Eat and sleep." The scientist was stupefied and immediately asked, "Why don't you fight peas?"

The little penguin said, "Because I am a bean."