Can anyone tell me a super funny joke?

Echo

Dentist (examining the patient's mouth): "There is a big hole in your tooth! There is a big hole."

The patient (unhappily) ): "There is a hole, but you don't have to say it twice."

Dentist: "I only said it once. That is an echo, an echo."

Exercise

The beautiful tour guide led the group to visit the army camp. Suddenly, a group of soldiers nearby fired a row of

guns. The lady was startled and fell into the arms of the accompanying company commander. The tour guide quickly blushed and said, "I'm so sorry,

I was frightened by your gunfire." The company commander said, "It's okay. Are you willing to watch the artillery drill?"

Chicken Crossing the River

The thief stole a chicken and was plucking the chicken by the river. At this time, a policeman came over and the thief hurriedly brought the chicken to the river. In.

The policeman asked: "What are you doing? What is in the river?"

The thief said: "That is a chicken. It is going to cross the river. I am here." Help him look at his clothes..."

Latest news

The TV news announcer was broadcasting the news...

At this time, a note was sent to him In front of him, he picked up the note and said habitually: "The following is the news we just received..." Then he opened the note and read: "Man, you still have a piece on your front tooth. Spinach leaves...."

Division of labor

Old Li was sitting in front of his house enjoying the cool air, watching the highway passing through the fields in the village, which was spectacular.

< p>After a while he saw a car approaching and stopped on the side of the road. A man got out, dug a hole on the side of the road, and then got back into the car.

After a while, someone in the car Another person came down and filled the hole again.

The car moved forward for a while, and the person came down and dug another hole. After a while, another person filled the hole again.

In this way, every time the car drove for a while, it dug holes, rested, and filled holes.... Lao Li was very confused.

He couldn't help but ran over and asked: "What are you doing?"

The two workers replied: "The three of us are working on a project to green the highway, and the man in charge of planting trees is sick today!"

< p>Guesthouse

A foreigner went to a certain place on business and wanted to find a guesthouse, so he asked a passerby: "Do you know where the guesthouse is?"

The passerby replied: "Yes. . What are you doing with Mrs. Zhao?"

"Sleeping," the outsider replied.

Thoughtful

The shark looked at a windsurfer and said: "The hospitality is really thoughtful. There is breakfast, as well as plates

and napkins."< /p>

Pause

A certain cadre likes to pause randomly when speaking and reads without breaking up sentences. One day, under the orders of the newly appointed Secretary Wang, he went to the grassroots level

Sitting on the podium to give a speech He said: "I am Secretary Wang..." (pause)

Everyone was shocked on and off the stage, thinking that the Secretary was paying a private visit incognito, so they couldn't help but listen carefully to the following words with trepidation. "Sent... ."

Everyone was relieved, and someone secretly wiped the sweat from his forehead. "I am here to seduce women..." (Another pause)

Everyone was shocked, and the dignified cadres, How dare you say this? "Working..."

Everyone laughed.

Specialist

I have just obtained the doctor's qualification, and I am still a little overwhelmed. The young man, goes to see his family doctor and tells him that they are now peers.

"You probably want to be a specialist?" the old doctor said.

"Yes," the young doctor said, "It specializes in rhinology. Ear and throat are too complicated to be combined with the nose

as one department."

< p>"Really?" the old doctor said, "Which nostril are you going to focus on?"

Walking back

The villagers who had been outside for a week were staggering. When I got home, I was ill-dressed and exhausted

Exhausted. "Where have you been?" his wife asked.

"I went to the woods to check the brewing still, and a big bear suddenly appeared in front of me. I ran as fast as I could and finally got rid of it.

I've never run that fast! ”

That was a week ago. Where have you been since then? "

The villager fell on the chair and said: "Come back!"

Baby bottle

The zookeeper said to the tourists: "Don't be afraid. This lion Very tame: It was raised with a bottle

"

Visitor: "I was also raised with a bottle, but now I like to eat meat."

Saving money

My sister works in a bank. A young man walked up to her counter and whispered to her

"Please put this in Deposit a thousand dollars into my savings account." After she did so, she quietly replied, "This is your passbook. Goodbye." The young man started to turn around and leave, but then he folded it again< /p>

Come back. "I'm sorry we have to whisper," he said, "but my car is parked outside, and if it hears that I have money left, it's going to break down again."

He put his fingers to his lips and tiptoed out of the bank.

Call Dad

On weekend morning, while my husband was still lying on his back, his friend Lao Li had already come to visit. I quickly said to my three-year-old

daughter: "Quick, go call daddy."

My daughter looked at me, hesitated for a while, then walked to Lao Li and timidly called He shouted: "Dad."

Instruction

The new female secretary is beautiful and charming, and the two supervisors are determined to personally guide her in her work. "It's our responsibility to teach her what she should and shouldn't do," A said.

"Yes," B said excitedly, "You are responsible for teaching her what to do."

Mahjong incident

Ah Yue wants to cook the food herself. Mother who is playing mahjong

How many meters should be washed? Mother did not hear Ah Yue's question...

While playing the cards in her hand, she said: "Nine tubes" !

As a result...that pot of rice lasted their family for a week...

How cooked should it be baked

A: If you didn’t do a good job at the crematorium, how could you be fired?

B: It’s my fault for talking too much!

A: Did you say something?

B: That time I asked the family next to me how cooked it should be!

Uniforms

My friend and I first entered the military academy for training, and we were quite proud of it. We had just received the uniforms from the material supply department. When we saw a man in uniform coming towards us, he quickly stood at attention and saluted, and at the same time said loudly: "Good morning, sir. ”

“Good morning,” the other party replied, “the post office staff is at your service.”

The painter

An ophthalmologist successfully cured The eye disease of a famous surrealist painter. When it came time to charge a fee, the doctor said he didn't need to charge a fee, but he wanted the artist to draw a painting for him, with the content chosen by the artist himself.

The painter was very grateful to the doctor for curing his eye disease, so he painted a huge eye, every

detail was meticulous, and he painted for the doctor in the center of the pupil. A perfect portrait.

When the ophthalmologist saw this painting, he was immediately shocked by the painter's extraordinary artistic expression. He

opened his mouth in surprise, and after a while he said: "Thank God, fortunately I am not an anal surgeon.

Birthday

Manager A and Manager B are good friends Friends, one day, they got together.

Manager B saw Manager A looking depressed, so he asked what happened.

Manager A sighed: "Yesterday was my birthday. My female secretary invited me to her home to celebrate my birthday. ”

“Isn’t that great? "

"When we arrived at her house, she asked me to wait in the living room for a while and then go into the bedroom to find her in five minutes. Said he wanted to give me a surprise. ”

“Isn’t that better? The peach blossoms are far away on my birthday. ”

“That’s what I thought at the time. But five minutes later, I walked into the bedroom and found that my female secretary and other staff were inside, waiting for me holding a birthday cake. ”

“That’s not bad. Your employees love you very much. You should be happy.” ”

“But I took off all my clothes before going in.”

"

Scar on the abdomen

The 5-year-old daughter did not understand why her mother had a scar on her belly. The mother explained to her daughter: "This is the doctor. A cut was made to take out the place where you were. "

The daughter thought seriously for a while and asked her mother seriously: "Then why do you want to eat me?"

Snail

A snail is on the road. As he was marching, a turtle came from behind and ran over him.

The snail was later sent to the hospital for emergency treatment. When the snail regained consciousness, the police officers asked him about the situation

Snail replied: "I don't remember, he was going too fast at the time..."

Reversing

The driver got out of the car with a colleague who stuttered.< /p>

At a T-intersection, because you have to change direction, you have to back up a section of the car, and there is a big wall behind the car.

You have to back up just right.

So the driver asked his colleagues for help

"Please take a look at it and let me know when you get there..."

"..."

Start the car, reverse...

"dao...dao...dao...dao...dao...dao." The stuttering colleague said something Stop.

The driver did as he was told...push...push...push...push...push...

"Boom ..."The big wall was hit by a car and fell to the ground...

"dao...dao..dao. has arrived"

ps: This article is not intended to make fun of people who stutter.

Reversing (2)

The market is very crowded.

The driver loaded the goods and was about to leave, and began to reverse. Not far behind the car was a seller The old farmer from Li.

"Back up...back up..." A female voice sounded a warning signal from inside the car...

I don't want the car to back up too much. The old man behind was knocked down and the pears were crushed.

The driver quickly got out of the car and helped the old man up, and apologized profusely.

"Get out of the way.. .

The old man pushed the driver away

"I looked for that woman. Where did she fall? She even shouted, fall down..."