Looking for sketches of soldiers and Zhao Weiguo.

It's Bing Qizhi's comic dialogue "Curing a Cold".

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Text:

Big: Here we are! Let me introduce myself. I am a famous doctor here. Why am I so famous? Because I am different from other doctors, I think most of my patients. To see my patient come in and climb out. (Wait for the audience to finish laughing) Oh, no, climb in and come out. Let's start seeing a doctor. Call one in. (Look at the list). Number one, surnamed Bai, cataract. Number two, surnamed Wei, has stomach bleeding. Number three, surnamed Niu, cowhide moss. Come on, you three, go in first.

Doctor, I ... I ... ...

Big shot: What's your date?

Odd number: I am the fourth.

Big: The next batch.

Odd number: Next ... Hey, why do you think I'm so unlucky? No matter what I do, it's the next batch. A while ago, our unit promoted a cadre, and I came to be the "next batch". I will retire in the next batch. Let me introduce myself. My surname is Shan, which is a word. I put the word "good" in hundreds of surnames. My name is Sam Guo Rui, and I'm not feeling well these two days. I may have caught a cold. I came to see a famous doctor. It is said that this doctor is particularly responsible for his patients. It's time to call my number next time. ...

Big shot: Next ... (Pinocchio snuggled up on his big shoulder, and Pinocchio followed him with a big step), and he was ill at first sight.

Qi: You can't come without illness.

Big shot: Next, breathe with one mouth.

Weird: (looking around) Who is talking about breathing with one mouth?

Big: What uneducated parents have such an ugly name! ?

Qi: There is only one breath left. Look at that.

Big: don't promise ... don't promise me to get off work!

Weird: Hey, hey, what about me, doctor?

Big shot: Oh, here's another one. What is your size?

Odd number: 4th, you said my next batch. ...

Big: You just breathe with one mouth!

Odd: My name is Shan Guo Rui! Take a closer look!

David Attenborough: Oh, yes, Sam Guo Rui.

Weird: What expression! Mountain Guo Rui thinks this is one-sided breathing.

Big: Mountain Guo Rui! Is it uncomfortable there?

Strange: I just cough and gasp.

Big: Not yet. Breathe with one mouth.

Strange: Doctor, I heard that the conditions here are particularly good. (Looking around) Why is there nothing?

Big: single-mouth asthma. (Odd number: Mountain Guo Rui. ) Oh, yes, Sam Guo Rui. What do you think is wrong with you?

Weird: I think I am ... you don't have to guess. I think I have a cold.

Big: You are very clever! You say a cold is a cold, so what else should I do? You are looking for a famous doctor now. Anyone who comes to see my famous doctor should check it again.

Doctor, check it.

Big: Don't move, open your mouth. (Amazing) A little higher. (Odd pitch rises) (Repeat twice) A little higher.

Odd: Doctor, you are not a hospital, but a conservatory of music!

Big: What nonsense!

Odd: I can sing such a high note!

David Attenborough: Who told you to sing? I told you to keep your chin up a little. I can't see.

Odd number: You should be more specific.

Big: Come on.

Odd: Ah ~ ~

Big: No wonder your voice is so ugly! There's a little bit on it. This ceiling is a little moldy.

Odd number: Doctor, you are really not a conservatory of music here. You are an interior decorator.

Big: You said it twice!

Qi: Then why do you think I have a ceiling on my head?

The person who comes here to see a doctor is called the ceiling. (odd: the upper jaw, doctor. ) Oh, yes, the palate. When I was a doctor, I didn't know it was called maxilla. (Strange: But I heard it was the ceiling. ) I said maxilla, in case you don't understand. I know what your education level is!

Qi: No matter how low my education is, I won't leave here.

Big: Come on, stick out your tongue. There's moss on it! Does it usually leak?

Odd: Yes, it usually rains heavily outside, so it rains lightly here. I thought, is my head leaking?

Big: (touching the strange head) It should be closed!

Odd: (throw it away) It's already closed, and the air leakage is already dead.

Big shot: You show everyone how green it is here.

Odd: This tongue coating. (big: oh, yes, tongue coating. How did I hear that he is the whole house!

Big: I mean long tongue coating.

Odd: Is tongue coating called fur? (big: right, right, tongue coating. ) Remember to call it tongue coating.

Da: Tongue coating, tongue coating, whatever you say, ok! Tongue coating! This person is very annoying. Should I see a doctor or should you see a doctor? I have one sentence, and he has a hundred! This man is not in good health, but you are eloquent. You are a pyramid scheme. Is it? Stop seeing the doctor! Pay!

Odd number: Hey. (coming back from a walk) Doctor, what's wrong with me?

I will tell you when you pay.

Odd number: Hey. (coming back from a walk) Doctor, how much do I have to pay?

Big: Oh, don't pay too much! Thank you, doctor. (Turning to leave) Pay first 1000!

Odd: (almost fell) It took 1000 yuan to know what happened to me!

Big: What's wrong with a thousand? What's wrong with a thousand? A thousand won't be enough.

Odd: A thousand dollars is not enough? !

David Attenborough: So I can still see that this is an infection. How old are you? (Odd number: 41. ) What is it? (odd: it's a cow. ) it looks like it at first glance! His face is blue, his eyes are dull and his pupils are dilated. (Pinch your nose) Shout, (Pinch: moo) Push! (odd: moo-) How about eating grass recently?

Qi: It's not good to eat grass recently. I only eat half a bundle of grass a day.

I suspect you are infected with mad cow disease.

Strange: I suspect you are a veterinarian. (L: Who is the vet? ) You vet! I didn't eat mad beef at all. How can you get mad cow disease?

Big: OK, OK, I've said it again and again. I'm the one who thinks that most patients. If you don't want to check, you don't have to. But don't blame me for your madness in the future!

Strange: You are crazy, too.

Big: Stand still and check it again. (odd number: check again. Please, many patients just don't cooperate with the doctor. (rubbing his shoulders) Does it hurt here? (odd: no, doctor. Think carefully before you answer, this is to see a doctor, not to buy food! Does it hurt here? (odd number: no pain. ) no way? It should hurt here! (squeezing odd temple) Does it hurt here? (odd: it hurts, doctor. ) It shouldn't hurt here! This question is very complicated! Bend down. (Pinches his back) Does it hurt here?

Odd number: Doctor, do you think it should hurt or not? (big: what words! ) I said it hurts, you said it shouldn't hurt, I said it doesn't hurt, and you said it should.

Tell me the truth. Does it hurt?

Qi: It didn't hurt at first. You pinch me.

Big: Pay!

Odd number: Hey. (coming back from a walk) Doctor, when can I pay again?

Rita: you didn't pay a penny when you saw the doctor!

Odd: I have a saying about paying money.

Of course, there is a saying. Don't misunderstand me. I am a famous doctor, and I am responsible for you. I'm not responsible for you to find another doctor. This is called exclusion, which excludes all the diseases you may get, not just leaving a cold!

Strange: I caught a cold, but my money was not excluded!

Big: All this man thinks about is money. Hey, what is the most important thing in your life? (odd: what is the most important? ) One thousand dollars can't buy the word "health".

Weird: the body.

Who is most responsible for your health in this world? (odd: who is responsible for me? ) the doctor is the most responsible.

Odd number: doctor.

Big: Why do you earn so much money all your life?

Odd: Why do you earn so much money?

Big: just seeing a doctor!

Qi: You see … I earned this for him all my life! Did you get a look at him?

Big: What do you mean, earning for me means earning for yourself.

Odd: Doctor, I beg you, please watch it. My family sells iron to give you a plaque. Six feet high, six feet wide, square, four big letters hanging at your door, iron reincarnation, okay?

Rita: Hehe ... We have to wait. Who is near-re-embodiment?

Weird: Tito is a near-re-embodiment doctor. They say you can see clearly. ...

David Attenborough: No, I remember Tito seems to be from Yugoslavia, right? It's Hua tuo!

Qi: You are much better than Hua Tuo!

Big: What do you mean?

Weird: You can just prescribe cold medicine for me.

Big: forget it, this person is too rare. (takes out a piece of paper) It's really stingy to take care of us businessmen! (Give Qi) Take medicine according to this list!

Strange: You gave me a prescription so soon.

Big: What else is this open? It's all photocopied.

Odd: (looks at the paper, grins and beats his chest)

Big: This is obviously mad cow disease! Did you get a look at him?

Odd: Doctor, you are really a great doctor! (big: that's right. ) I have a cold. You prescribed me more than 500 kinds of medicine.

You should.

Strange: Other doctors talk about movies. Tell me about Kim! I don't think I can eat it alive. I'm going to mobilize the whole family to eat, and my children and grandchildren will eat until the 28 th century. I can't believe I can't finish it!

Big: Good! This is called Yu Gong taking medicine!

Stranger: I understand, doctor. Why do you think I got a pressure cooker in it? Do you think I should steam or sit in it?

Da: Why don't you have any social common sense? Pressure cookers are used for cooking!

Odd: Cooking We have a lot of cooking pots at home.

Big: Your cold is not an ordinary cold. (odd: then why do I catch a cold? ) You have an imported cold.

Odd: Am I suffering from mad cow disease again?

Big: What! You've been sick since your mouth. You have a viral cold. I'm afraid you'll infect the rest of the family, so you must use what you eat alone in the future. By the way, I'll give you a pair of chopsticks alone. (written on paper)

Odd: (stop) No, I'll just eat from the pot.

Big: saving a little is just a little.

Odd: Doctor, how do you drive this? Eighteen baskets of penicillin. I don't think you can stop me!

Big: Don't do it overnight. When you're ready.

Odd: A mobile phone?

What if I take the wrong medicine? Call me right away. It is not too late.

Strange: But how can you drive a motorcycle for me?

Big: How to get so many things back? Don't rely on motorcycles! You are not bad!

Odd: What's the matter?

Big: The three people who came in front, I drove his Santana alone!

Odd: Oh!