Praise and criticism

1

Some psychological studies show that people tend to overestimate themselves. Including one's own ability, one's own contribution to something, one's own excellent degree, and so on. Someone has done an experiment, asking several people involved in something to measure their contribution to the success of this thing, estimate it according to the percentage, and score themselves. As a result, the final score almost reached 2%!

So, when people hear compliments from others, even if the compliments are beyond their real situation, they don't think there is anything wrong with them. There's an old saying in China, "You wear everything, but you don't wear flattery." That's the truth.

On the issue of easily accepting compliments from others, it actually touches human nature and has nothing to do with consciousness. There is a joke that a scholar is going to Beijing to work hard and find his own teacher to say goodbye. The teacher asked, "What are your plans for going to Beijing to gain a foothold in Beijing and open up the situation?" The student said, "I've prepared well. I've prepared 1 tall hats and I'm going to send them out one by one when I get to Beijing." The teacher expressed concern and said, "That's it? I'm afraid not? How can people in Beijing be so superficial? " The student said, "What the teacher said makes sense. After all, there are not many people in the world who are as noble as teachers. I'll make a good plan and be more prepared. " The teacher was very happy to hear this: "Everything should be well planned, and maybe your plan will succeed. Do it well, I am optimistic about you! " When the student came out of the door, he flicked his skirt and said, "There are 99 left in the 1 tall hats I prepared."

2

compliments that have no interest between people are either sincere, a way of greeting or a joke. The person who praises is not necessarily very serious. The person who is praised either laughs or thanks politely. The person who praises laughs with the person who is praised is happy.

my status is generally harmless, so when someone praises me, I mostly think it's a polite way to express my thanks. Of course, there are also some compliments that I feel are joking, and I will say "where where" or "flatter me" with a little shyness. Occasionally, I will feel that the other person's praise is right, so I will accept it and thank you sincerely.

In practice, I have another identity, and maybe a little so-called power. Although I try my best to proceed from the thing itself and deal with it objectively, I still get a lot of praise and even flattery. At this time, I will try to be sober. I try to remind myself that their praise for me is not because I have any special skills, but because I am in a certain position. Other people's praise and flattery to me are not sincere to me, but to something other than myself. First, I can't change my understanding of the rights and wrongs of things because others gave me compliments that were not directed at me. Second, I should try to avoid people praising me to make me do things I shouldn't have done.

I try to be sober, and I insist on saving myself, but I dare not say that I can always be sober about praise.

3

As a freelancer, I happen to be temporarily in a certain position, and it seems that I have a little power, which is not a power at all, and has little influence on people and has nothing to do with material interests at all. I will receive a lot of compliments for this position, and I dare not say that those compliments are realistic and appropriate.

fortunately, although I may not have done it, I am still very clearly aware that I don't have anything because I am in this position. I am still me, and my things will leave me. If I blindly accept the praise when I have things outside my body, when things outside my body leave me, I will be seen swimming naked like the tide fades. That would be awkward.

from me, I think of those who are temporarily in charge of public power. How much of the praise they received was objective and true, how much was insincere, how much was praise for himself, and how much was praise for his position and power?

No matter what kind of people are in a certain position, especially when your actions can affect others' career prospects, spiritual interests or material wealth, praise will certainly flock to you, which is dizzying. Many times, many people regard this as what they should enjoy.

second, criticize

1

It is estimated that few people are happy when others point out their shortcomings, although many people boast that "it is good to hear it". I think that "it's a pleasure to smell it" is purely the result of acquired exercise, it's anti-instinct, and it's a possible quality for people who are strict with themselves and self-disciplined. Such people are cruel people. I don't think there will be many such people in this world.

don't talk about shortcomings, even if it is bad news, some people don't like to hear it. According to unofficial history's records, there is an ancient country in Central Asia called Hua La Zi Mo. Any messenger who brings good news to the king will be rewarded, and those who bring bad news to the king will be killed.

We can ask ourselves, are we willing to hear bad news? Even if the bad news is what we have to get, can we be as happy as the person who brings the good news?

It is true that we will think that the king of Hua La Zi Mo is ridiculous. He naively thinks that rewarding those who bring good news can encourage the arrival of good news, and executing those who bring bad news can eradicate bad news. However, we are not happy when we hear bad news, and we don't like the people who bring bad news. When we hear good news, we are also friendly to the people who bring good news. Isn't this similar to the king of the flower thorns?

actually, this is human nature.

2

I put myself in the position of thinking. Intellectually speaking, I want to know my own shortcomings, so that I can correct them or try to avoid them. If I don't know my big shortcomings, I may make a fool of myself. But when someone really pointed out my shortcomings, I still felt a little unnatural (of course, I was more likely to be unhappy), even though the question was very correct and to the point.

We must feel bad about the shortcomings raised by others, especially those we are unwilling to change, or those we are willing to change but difficult to change.

In fact, some problems look like a person's shortcomings, which he knows are shortcomings, but this person has benefited a lot from this shortcoming, and he doesn't want people to know it. He wants to hide it from others and he doesn't want to correct it himself. If such a determination is pointed out, he will not become angry from embarrassment.

another question is whether our shortcomings can be corrected or not, and whether they can bring us benefits. In particular, we don't want people we don't like to bring them up.

psychologically speaking, is this shortcoming something that you can't hide? Like a monkey's red ass? You can't see it yourself and you don't want others to see it? Even if you know, even if you are secretly trying to correct it, but you don't want others to know? Will others feel that they have been bottomed out when they know?